Travel Anxiety: I am a 49 year old... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Travel Anxiety

mjhateanxiety profile image
27 Replies

I am a 49 year old female with a 17 and 13 year old. I have been having travel anxiety for about 8 years now. I don't like going very far from home. 30-45 minutes no problem but further causes me anxiety to be away from home. I have travelled all over before Mexico, California, Texas, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida and Alabama many times. When I had my first panic attack I thought I was losing my mind. It took a while to tell my husband. My kids haven't been anywhere with me that is further then 2-3 hours. I still have to take xanax to even do that. My kids don't know but my oldest questioned why we haven't gone back to Florida since he was 8. This crushes my heart. I want so badly to travel and experience memories with my family and girlfriends. I don't go on girl trips anymore. I miss the old me who was not afraid. I would love help and finding out why this started and how to handle it so I can travel. Do I tell my kids? My best friend knows and my husband that is it. Soooo embarrassing. My mine just keeps going and going especially the days up to travellng. The doctor wanted to switch me from Zoloft to Another one that would help me sleep and my mind rest. I am scared to switch because I had such bad side affects when I started Zoloft. I need help and advice. I feel like I am the only person who can't get in a car or plane and explore the worlds

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mjhateanxiety
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27 Replies
CosmeJunior profile image
CosmeJunior

I felt for the first time an anxiety attack with 31-years-old. Never felt something like that and I thought I would die. I read what you wrote and I feel sorry for what has happened to you. I am trying to find a way to get if of this disease. I found in an autogenous treatment created by Johannes Heinrich Schultz (1884-1970). I am going to a psychologist once a week and learning about the method. Try to find someone who knows about it.

I wish you all the best. I hope I could help you!

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety in reply to CosmeJunior

Thanks I will look into that!!

jjb1983 profile image
jjb1983

I feel your pain lovely, mine is even around where I live shops driving I'm terrible.

I have a fear of been in traffic jams too my word.

My therapist said to drive 10 mins away from home then back then 20 mins then 30 mins and slowly bring it in.

That's the only thing I can suggest to you hope it helps.

I carry water think it's a safety thing for me I also on long journeys carry valium. Don't know why because I wouldn't be able to take it lol.

Have you nothing at all that helps you?

Jjb1983

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety in reply to jjb1983

Xanax does seem to help but I am all in my on head the days leading up to the travel which I know makes it worst

smhall3 profile image
smhall3 in reply to mjhateanxiety

Yes! The days leading up to it are the worst!!! I can't eat, sleep or concentrate on anything. I'm wondering if it's even worth traveling anymore............my poor husband loves to travel.........(

I wish there was a shot to get to make everything go away. Anxiety, depression, all of it. I just want to be able to be happy and enjoy life. Why is it not possible???

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety in reply to smhall3

I feel the same way. The struggle is real. Most people say shake it off. Wish it was that easy 😂😂

cheralike66 profile image
cheralike66

Hello, just reading your post you sound a lot like me I haven’t been on a plane since 2004. I use to travel once a year and go somewhere for vacation. I feel trapped! When I first started noticing my symptoms I thought it had to do with 9/11 and the fear of being on an airplane. Even going to a familiar place to visit family that live about three 3 1/2 hour drive it’s hard for me. I live in a major metropolitan city and have for the last 30 years. When I was working 3 miles from the house I would go out of my way an additional 2 miles just to get to and from work because I can’t handle driving in heavy traffic without panicking .I have seen psychologists and psychiatrist I’ve been on different medications the only one that seems to work short term is Xanax. Can I get on a plane? No! my PCP of 20 years told me that I’ll always have this problem it’s not gonna go away it can only be managed with medications.

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety in reply to cheralike66

Every summer I tell myself I will go a little further. I will only travel with my husband because he knows how I feel. Talking to others does seem to help me so I am looking into a local therapist

eoharafisher profile image
eoharafisher

I have multiple travel issues due to panic, and I explained what it was to my daughter when she was young. I wanted her to know what was going on so she wouldn't think I didn't care. I think it helped. Perhaps you could check this out with a therapist.

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety

Yes I have seen someone years ago but I believe it is time to either go back or find someone who may deal more with my type of anxiety.

Cares179 profile image
Cares179

Hello!

I feel your pain we have a family vacation set for Maui in 2weeks and my anxiety regarding flying is crazy! I mostly worry I am going to get sick on the flight and have a panic attack and won’t be able to move on the plane. Last time I was supposed to fly I ended up canceling... ugh I am determined not to do this as This is a trip of a lifetime for us. I am taking Dramamine and Xanax with me just in case!😁

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety

Sending prayers !!! I would love to see Maui too. Keep us posted i prayer all goes well.

Bigbread profile image
Bigbread

I have struggled with the EXACT same issues around traveling and being in unfamiliar places stemming from a very bad panic attack that I had in 2014 while traveling in Brazil. I am no authority on the subject, but will share what has helped me:

I recently went on a very low dose of Zoloft (25mg) just a few weeks ago. This is helping to take the “edge” off when panicky thoughts com up, but is not a panacea in and of itself. I complement that with healthy living (no coffee, no alcohol during triggering situations), daily meditation and, most importantly, present moment awareness.

Thinking about, bracing against and preparing for anxiety and panic which you fear at some point in the future creates a constant state of unease that eventually arises to an attack. It seems counterintuitive, but continually fighting against anxiety brings about anxiety. It’s so much harder said then done, but leading up to a trip, try and remind yourself (a thousand times in a row, if necessary), that in the present moment, you have nothing to fear. There is no threat to brace against. Bring yourself out of the future and back to the present over and over again.

During the event of travelling, anxious feelings will likely arise, but you must change your relationship then. First, share them with those around you (I had a particularly liberating experience when doing this with my kids). Hiding it strengthens the idea that there is something shameful about it - which produces more anxiety. Second, change your perspective. It’s not “your” anxiety, it is “the” anxiety. Dissociate yourself from it and see it as if you are a third party observer of an emotional phenomenon that will arise and then pass. It is not at the core of your being unless you produce thoughts and words that make it so. Third, allow it to be there when it comes - no resistance. “There’s the anxiety - this feeling has come before - it’s very unpleasant but I know it won’t persist indefinitely - it’s okay - I’ll breathe deeply and evenly - and I will be ok”. The stories you tell yourself mean everything. It will subside.

Medication is part of the solution, no question. But managing your thoughts and relationship to anxiety is a much bigger part of the solution.

I was at a point about a month ago where I couldn’t leave my house and thought I was going crazy with panic. I am now on a two month summer vacation in Denver and am happy to say that the process I laid out above has made for a smooth trip. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a few minor flare ups (experiencing enclosed situations and when it’s very warm out are two triggers for me), but I’m convinced the mental training has taken the teeth out of the anxious experiences. They simply don’t rise to an intensity level that paralyzes like they have before.

I hope this is helpful. I will hold you in my thoughts during my next meditation. You can handle this and experience freedom in your life. I promise

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety

I appreciate what you said about telling your kids. I most definitely see what you mean but I guess it's true I am ashamed that I can't control it. Separate myself from the anxiety instead of my anxiety - never thought of it like that. Thanks !!!

smhall3 profile image
smhall3

I have travel anxiety too! It's the worst! I can go some places and do okay, but my husband and I are supposed to go to Italy in June and I am already feeling sick just thinking about it. I told him we may have to cancel and I feel terrible. It's weird with me though, sometimes I am fine traveling and other times I am a mess. Diarrhea, upset stomach and panic attacks the whole time. I wish there was a cure for this. I want to be able to travel and have fun without worrying or having to take xanax every day.

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety in reply to smhall3

Exactly I want to be able to go on a girls trip, trip with the kids and trip just me and the hubby but I avoid these situations. I want to be able to do it on my own like I used to. I used to have no problem traveling.

You’re not alone..... I have no problem with planes, but I can’t drive hardly at all....only on certain roads, no bridges, no freeways, no multi lane boulevards. It’s very limiting and embarrassing. Where I live there’s no public transport. This has been going on over 25 years. I used to drive everywhere.

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety in reply to

I had a friend just recently tell me she couldn’t drive even in her town but she is ok with someone else driving. She is now Better and can at least drive in her small town but that’s it. I felt like I am not alone we just keep things to ourselves in fear of embarrassment because we can’t explain why we feel the way we do

in reply to mjhateanxiety

Oh for sure. Like when there’s a work meeting offsite and I have to leave early and have my daughter take me! It’s so embarrassing. I’m okay when other people drive too- just not me.

Anthese profile image
Anthese

My first anxiety or panic attack I experienced on a plane and it was so bad that I passed out. I just did not know what to do, I remained seated. And eventually I realized that i was about to loose consciousness. I know the feeling because I had a number of near fainting spells earlier in my life, like when having blood drown and having acute toothache.

The following month the sickness escalated significantly that I could not drive passed my neighborhood without not having my heart pounding like a hammer and getting dizzy.

What I started doing immediately is to ride bike, go to swimming pool. I also started to take contrast showers every morning. That month I was lucky to have a job close to my home so the drive was just 5 min. I believed those measures helped because I can drive now, I still have symptoms but they are not nearly as intense. My idea is to expose myself to different kind of stress so it could possibly lead to a change in the nervous system and the way my brain reacts to the environment. Something has changed in me at some point that led to anxiety. Now I am trying to change it back.

Best of luck to you and keep us posted about your progress.

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety in reply to Anthese

I wish I Knew what changed so I can get better. Good luck to you.!

Sunnidayz1 profile image
Sunnidayz1

Millions of people suffer like you do.

You are not alone in how u r feeling.

I understand that you dont want to be afraid anymore. We all feel that way.

If you really want to rid yourself of this you can with work. It all depends on the source and the severity of it.

My advice is to be open an honest with your kids about this. Theres no shame in this bc we are human and sometimes we go through things.

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety in reply to Sunnidayz1

How did you do it? What are some things that can be done ?

Sunnidayz1 profile image
Sunnidayz1 in reply to mjhateanxiety

I decided to do the work. I work with a therapist and Im on medication. It's a lot of work. But I wanted to get rid of it so I made that decision. Some people dont take that route they take medication to lessen the symptoms and not work on erradicating it. Others exercise, do yoga, coloring, meditation, read self help books, you tube videos to ease the symptoms- to ease the mind, to calm.

Before I made the decision to do the work, I used to do yoga and meditation.

It really really helped. Just learning breathing techniques help!

I went from having General Anxiety Disorder & PTSD & agoraphobia to only having anxiety occassionally- I did A LOT of work. Im grateful.

This site has helped me tremendously too!!

A support system is so important!!

mjhateanxiety profile image
mjhateanxiety in reply to Sunnidayz1

Thanks so much!!!

Sunnidayz1 profile image
Sunnidayz1 in reply to mjhateanxiety

Oh you're welcome. Good luck to you

dbeck128 profile image
dbeck128

I have the fear of getting lost, so I can relate in some sort of way. I know it’s really hard to take on traveling. But think of it as a vacation. If you get lost, you have your gps! I read on an online article when you’re traveling and start to panic, just accept the fear. Once it’s entered your body, that’s ALL it can do. It’s basically playing tricks on you, making it “feel” real. Hang in there. 🙂

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