Advice?: Recently I I had made a post... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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maskedjinn profile image

Recently I I had made a post saying that I'm slowly improving with my social anxiety but I'm not quite there yet I'm still quiet and I want to be able to be myself around the people I hang around with, without the feeling of being judged. The biggest reason I think that's stopping me from being myself around people is the fear of being judged and I need some advice on how to come out of my shell more I guess. It would make me so happy if I can be myself around people all the time.

11 Replies

Do you judge the people around you?

You are probably no more important than they are, so why do they spend so much time concerning themselves with you?

This is some simple logic that set me free.

maskedjinn profile image
maskedjinn in reply to gerg

Thank you :)

I feet what you're saying, on a heart level. I always wonder what people think in public. It's hard to feel that way, but you're normal. I think we're all social butterflies, just some are bright neon colored, loud butterflies, and some, like me, are the pale, pastel colored, more quiet butterflies. You're beautiful, too, and you also have what to contribute. So be confident in your 'self' as beautiful, and be comfortable and confident of who you are, and that might make you more comfortable being yourself in public.

Good luck!

maskedjinn profile image
maskedjinn in reply to Mydwyfe

Thank you :)

Hi I am new on the forum and receive mobile alerts of posts. I just wanted to say I can really relate to the feelings that you are going through about being quiet and not being able to be yourself around people. I have suffered with this feeling all my life sometimes I feel more confident in myself than other times. But I think it comes from me judging myself and comparing myself to other people. I started a new job which is really difficult to mix socially. I just posting to say you are not alone. My friends in oast have said I have an unrealistic negative view of myself. So I just wanted to say I I realise there is nothing wrong with you...We have to dig deep and tell ourselves we are valuable human beings with our own unique qualities and that we deserve to be here. A poem that I love to read when when I feel unworthy is the DESIDERATA . I hope this helps . You are not alone x

Keep building on 'loving yourself'. Continue working on self confidence, and self esteem. For some ppl suffering from SA, this might be a lifetime process, but just keep going, don't give up. 'You' are worth it. Take care, be kind to 'you'.

I have social anxiety, too. Strangely, one thing that helps me is to really look people in the eye. It helps me focus on them, on who they are, rather than what they might be thinking of me. Try it next time you check out at a store and are saying "thank you" to the clerk. Look them in the eye and smile (it's a safe way to practice). I don't know why it's worked for me, but it's helped.

Also, congratulations on the progress you have made. When those anxiety thoughts creep in, recognize that they are just symptoms, like a sneeze when you have a cold, and that you are defeating them! Few people understand the courage and resilience that this takes. Well done, brave one.

I just finished reading a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) workbook on social anxiety, which I also suffer from. The main jist is that you have to start retraining your brain against negative thoughts. When you start having a negative thought, challenge it by asking yourself questions like "do I really know this to be true? Could there be another explanation?" Instead of thinking the dysfunctional things like "I'm such a loser", you have to start challenging those thoughts and recognizing the flaws in such thinking patterns, and it will help you to think more positively, more rationally. When you're in social situations, you will start to recognize your automatic negative thoughts and over time, you will think them less and less. It is definitely a process, but I feel like becoming more aware of my thought process and trying to work on it has really been helping.

Join Toastmaster. I bet , you will love it. It’s inexpensive and very effective 💐❤️🇺🇸

Hello maskedjinn, I inderstand what you’re going through. Yes, it’s tough having this disorder, but gradual exposure is what helps. And if you find yourself unable to start conversations with people, just start out with simple greetings to people you pass by on the street even. I, too, have a long way to go, but I think all of us can conquer our battles if we just keep putting in the effort to overcome those difficulties. Also, from your picture, I can see a charming, beautiful lady. So the next time you have negative thoughts, just remind yourself, “I’m beautiful, smart, funny,...” you get the idea. Keep holding your head high and be accepting of who you are.

maskedjinn I'll join the chorus of those that struggle with social anxiety. I take a while to warm up to new people. What holds me back is not wanting to impose on others and the fear of rejection. Learning to challenge these thoughts in the moment has been my struggle. I've just charged jobs myself and am back to square one. I really sympathize. Just try and remember that you are not alone and all the people in your circle that you're wanting to socialize with have their own issues and insecurities to process. The same as us.

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