And it still feels as fresh as the day it happened, especially as it was unexpected, and she was only 56.
Come the weekend my brother my father and my self have said it's time we started looking at sorting my mother's clothes out(putting them in the clothes bank)
We will keep some of the clothes she wore regularly, however it's going to tough letting go of them either way.
Be it this week, next week or a year from now, we know holding onto her clothes will not bring her back.
In general part of me knows I got to start to declutter the house in general, because my dad has MS is wheelchair bound, and his health is obviously not great.
Down the line hopefully many years from now, if anything should happen to my dad, its very likely the council will decline me taking over the rent etc because its a 4 bedroom house.
It's been my home since birth , but they do not care, they just see it as a house, to me it has been my life.
My mother passed away here, we have bad memories but also good memories , the reality is that I have to start thinking long term.
It sucks, but that's just life I guess.
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CJ2016
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Thank you, it is tough especially since my brother and I had to do CPR on her for 30 mins before paramedics arrived so that added to the traumatic night.
Yes, how traumatic, it sounds like it's no wonder you have been traumatised with flashbacks, the loss of your dog too, I agree they are family and it's another loss. ( I read your other post)
I lost my dad and cat at the same time, in very different traumatic circumstances though, but I really want to send you my warmest vibes and love, you sound a lovely person and I am thinking of you Xx💜
Hi, thanks for sharing. My mom passed over 20 years ago and I still miss her. I can say this past Thanksgiving I didn’t get depressed for the first time since she passed and didn’t even realize it till later. So let yourself grieve it’s perfectly normal.
Thank you for responding , and sorry for you're loss , it is really tough , we are having the first mother's day without her, my first birthday without her so I understand it will take a long time to get over.
So sad for you. I'm lost every day, my mum was a clever, beautiful, funny, kind lady. How can that massive lost ever get better. I just drink and take sleeping pills to sleep now. I hope you manage to find a coping strategy x
Sorry for you're loss, it does suck , I care for my dad so I got to keep pushing forward, on my down time when my dad is bed resting I do exercise.
I think about how strong my mother was and how she was eating healthy and trying to make healthy lifestyle changes before her passing despite her ill health.
I am using my mother's example to keep pushing my self forward , even on the days I feel more down than usual , I think if my mother had the motivation to keep going forward than I have to honor her memory by trying to be at least half as strong as she was.
That's a fantastic reply, your mum would be so proud to see what you said! I too try and think like that. When mothers day came although I was so sad I said, she gave me life, she loved me, it would be so disrespectful for me not to be grateful for the life she gave me and pain and heartache I gave her as a teen. My boy is struggling with anxiety, sligh autism, depression. He's 18 I'm scared stiff every day of how his mood will be. Life hey. Its hard. I wonder at times if bringing children into this world is fair now. I'd never change my boy, but ive brought him into a hard cruel world. Makes me feel selfish. Sorry for late reply. How you doing x
No worries hope everything is ok with you, and today is the 5 month mark of my mother's passing.
I am ok, been struggling a bit these last couple of days, motivation to work out has hit a wall.
I give my self one treat day where I could eat what I want and not worry about calories , but was ill the day after so I think my body just can't handle junk food anymore.
So even though I've not really exercised these last couple of days I'm still eating healthy even if I am feeling a little mentally burned out. X
Sorry for losing a parent. It is hard especially if the bond was strong. There is no set time for healing. It can take as less as a year or as long as forever. Don't rush it out. Cry if you have to, just don't rush it out. We are here for you
The pain will never go away, my mother was also best friend , I took her shopping took her to hospital appointments whenever I was going somewhere in the car my mother was with me.
Now her memory will always be with me, she taught me despite everything life throws at you, that you keep pushing forward.
My mother was always laughing and smiling both my mother's parents passed relatively young my grandfather being 49 and my grandmother 58.
Despite that and my mother's ill health she could still smile and laugh, and I am trying to use my mother's example or how to keep pushing forward no matter the hurt.
She surely does sounds like an incredible woman and I without a doubt she will be missed but since she was also your friend and had spent most time with her, it will take you a very very long time to forget. There is no need to forget her, let her memory live on. U will be fine though.
It nice. My mom also passed on 2010 but we were never really close. I was raised by grandmo so it was not bad losing her but I really feel for you. Whatever you want to keep of her, you should and release when you are ready.
It's easy really , we had some of the ashes separate for the tattoo ink, they grind the ash a little bit more to make it even finer, then sprinkle a pinch of ashes into the ink and thats it. X
Five months, I'm sure, feels like it's only been a few days. Those times can feel very blurry and unsettling. I understand fully as my sister who was 51 passed away 9 months ago, it feels like yesterday. The grief has subsided and in it's place is a lingering void of life. Wanting to share the little and big things of life, yet knowing she's not here, never will be again.
I'm sorry for your loss of losing your mother, so thankful that you still have your dad though and can process through your grief together as a family. Take the beautiful things that your mom instilled in you and share them with others to keep her memories alive. Have you ever considered taking some of her clothing and making a special blanket or pillow out of it? That can be a way of preserving some of her special things without keeping them as clothing, but more of a memorial. I pray, I journal things that I want to tell my sis, maybe doing those types of things will help to process even more. It's hard... no lie!!
I pray you find peace and strength to help you go through her stuff... we had to do that right after my sister passed as I live very far away from her, we were literally in shock still going through it all. It wasn't any easier than if we had waited, I'm not sure there is a great time for any of that anyway. I use this website, bit.ly/305X8XS, to process my grief, I thought you might get value out of it too. God bless you!!!
thank you for the reply and you are righr there will never feel a right time to do it but i guess its just something that has to be done also sorry for youre loss.
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