My mother passed away yeaterday - Anxiety and Depre...

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My mother passed away yeaterday


And I feel so numb, my brother and I had to do CPR on her for 30 mins, before rapid response arrived .

And I just can't get the image of the way she was in the end out of my head thats twice in just over a year I have had to do CPR I had to do CPR on my neighbour and then on my mother and neither made it.

My life basically revolved around my mother being her carer, now that she is gone, a giant chunk of me has gone with her , I am functioning because my sad still requires care , but I never thought in a million years my mother would go so soon 56 years old here one sec gone the next I really hate this life.

29 Replies

Dearest CJ, I extend my sincerest sympathy to you. You have been a loving son

to both your parents in giving so much of yourself. I can't imagine how difficult it

had to be for both you and your brother to perform CPR until help arrived.

You certainly have gone over and beyond what most could handle.

I know your dad still requires your care. I also know how much you are grieving

right now. Losing our parents is such a loss no matter what our age. I want you to

know that we are here for you. xx

I am so sorry for your loss. God bless.

hi cC2016 that really is the saddest news and my heart goes out to you your brother and all concerned god bless you both.

So sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss. A close friend lost his grandson a couple months ago and his daughter who is a nurse had to perform CPR on him as well. He was 2 days from turning 16 but he had health issues, wasn't supposed to live 1 day, a couple months, a couple years. I know she can sympathize. I watched my "father-in-law" (my bf and I have been together for 17 years - 15 at the time of his passing - so his parents consider me family) take his last breath. That has stuck with me and haunts me to this day. If I can't hear my bf when he's asleep or even my cat, I sit and watch to see if they are breathing. I hope things get better for you.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I feel for you.❤️

My goodness, I am so sorry dear girl. It's ok to be broken right now. That is so hard,and an absolute horrible experiance . Each time your mind goes to how she looked at the end try to replace that thought with a different good visual of your mother. It's hard but just try. This is all very fresh. Please reach out for help as much as you need to. Grief is the worst feeling in the world. Drink lots of water,it helps.

My heart aches for you. I’ve lost so many people. I think you need a parent loss support group. My father commit suicide and 10 years later my mother had Alzheimer’s (did not know who I was) I held her hand when she took her last breath. You never think you’re going to get over it but one day the pain is less severe. Again I am so very sorry.

How does one find a really goood parent loss support group?

Good and research each one that comes up. That’s how I found a support group for suicide survivors after my father commit suicide and that’s how I found this group

This is Shnookie. My deepest condolences to U and your brother. Being a caregiver for your parents brings a myriad of emotions.

I was the sole caregiver for my mom when she was diagnosed with stage 4

pancreatic cancer in September 2014 until

her death in January 2016. It is quite normal to feel numb especially Since your mom just died. I’m here for U.

Hugs 🤗 Shnookie.

Thanks guys, appreciate all the replys, I honestly just feel so broken, I just feel as if I am in a massive void everything just feels hollow.

People are saying I should be proud etc, and I just can't be, I just feel so numb to it, I feel like a shell.

A big chunk of me has died with my mother, the remaining half is being here for my father and dog and making sure they are ok.

But for me, I just want to sleep the days away.

Sorry for your loss 🙏. Losing a parent is difficult. I lost my dad about 40 years ago. I still cry when I see anything when it involves a dad n daughter. My dad didn’t get to walk me down the isle. I miss sharing our lives together, we were Close. I’m waiting for a call about my mom who has dementia any day now, she’s in her 90’s. Prayers for you n you’re Family 🙏

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine ....

I am so very sorry your mother died. You can honestly say you tried everything humanly possible to save your mother. Being a caregiver is so all consuming that you don't have time to ask yourself, "What do I want to do today?"

Presently, you are dealing with grief. Give yourself permission to grieve in your way, whatever gives you comfort and relief. Your mom is always going to be with you everyday of your life.

Your body and brain are working to help get you through the next upcoming things that need to be done. The numbness is helping you now. All of us are thinking about you and sending you a warm understanding hug.

Dear friend I'm so sorry for your loss. Try not to beat yourself for your difficulty in letting go of your mom's passing or the memory of how it happened. This would be a normal reaction and will be part of your grieving process. You may need some grief counseling to help you through. I'm here for you.

I’m so sorry for your loss CJ. My story is similar to yours, caring for my mom and losing her. Prayers for you and your family🙏🏼

I am so sorry for your loss, please know how much people care for you and know you are loved. God Bless you

I am sorry for your loss. I do understand about losing your mom. My mom passed away from Covid on July 13 this year. She was my best friend. I am here if you would find it helpful to chat.

I'm so sorry. This is horribly traumatizing. Just sending Light and Love.

You and your brother are in my thoughts and prayers! Stay strong and know that we are all here for you.

Allow yourself time to grieve. Shedding a tear in private can help. It's so important to grieve. It is the first step of your return to some sort of normality.

Allow yourself time to grieve. Then start remembering the good times. The happy days you shared.

Remember what your dad must be going through right now. Draw closer to him, comfort him, share the happy memories together.

Death is only like moving from one room to another. In due course life must carry on.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I bet she is so proud of who you are. Seems you were so kind to her

I’m so sorry! Losing a parent is so hard. Especially the way you experienced it!

My heart goes out to you. A very tragic way to say good bye.

Thank you for knowing CPR. Many of us could not have done that.

Know in your heart your mom knew she was loved.

Your dad and brother need you. 💕

Thanks guys really appreciate the replys, honestly it feels like I am in a different world right now.

I have great memories of my mother , and it hurts really bad knowing that I won't get to talk to her and hear her laugh and see her smile and ask how well she slept ever again and it truly does break my heart.

Its still fresh so having waves or good memories with my mother but also flashbacks of that night and its really tearing me apart ,but as much as I feel like I don't want to be here anymore , I got to keep going for my dad & dog.

No..... You hate to loose your Mom. This too shall pass.

I'm so sorry you have lost your mom. Doing CPR on a loved one can be very traumatizing. I've been there.

Please take care of yourself. Take all the time you need to grieve your loss.

Thinking of you.

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