Feels like someone passed away

[ribby]

Hi, I’ve just decided yesterday that I am no longer going to be able to be friends with one of my best friend of 20 years. She has done a lot of things wrong to me but it still feels like a death. She sent a text to her friend but it came to me by mistake and she called me the worst name you can call woman. She called my father and told him things about me and exaggerated and my father still doesn’t have trust in me anymore and she got me hospitalized under a cloak of lies. She has stolen my pills many times. I’ve seen her do it. One time I had a pulmonary embolism and she hadn’t been to my house in years and she immediately wanted to come over so she could have some of the pain pills and when I woke up six of them were missing. She is an addict of oxycodone she’s borrowed $2400 from me which she used all for pills I found out and hasn’t paid a cent back to me. She went to multiple ATMs and stores and stole $650 off my bank card. She had me Western Union her $40 saying it was for uniform for a new job and then later admitted it was for a pill and then most recently, the last straw was we were just texting normally and she wrote back the most rude and uncalled for rude text and it really hurt my feelings and I haven’t heard from her since. I should never talk to her again my friends have been telling me that for a very long time and I finally decided not to talk to her again but it I have a pain in my chest and I feel like someone’s died. I feel very sad which is strange because I’ve dismissed people before with no feelings and no drama so I dont understand why this hurts so badly except for the fact that we were friends for 20 years. Does anyone have any advice to help me deal with this and get over it please?

[deborah27]

You are grieving. In addition to that, you have been involved in a really quite toxic relationship for a very long time. She seems to have taken up a lot of your time, your brain space and energy. Now that this has gone from your life there is a huge gap. Her behaviour has been totally unacceptable if not criminal and she has relied on your kindness. No more, you do not need this. I really hope you do not become involved again and that you can connect with people who do not coerce or manipulate you. Keep in touch, all of us can support you here...

[ribby in reply to deborah27]

Hi. Thank you for your Response. It is a toxic relationship and I said to her the last time I saw her, “you don’t care about anyone but yourself” and she didn’t even respond but then she acted like she cared about my stomach pain for a little while. I usually just get rid of people that are not kind to me with no problem but she’s got some kind of hold over me.

[Jack112288]

Sounds like she’s losing a greasy friend you did nothing wrong in this situation but help someone who you thought was your friend and that’s perfectly fine we have all stepped to help someone who wasn’t all for us this will take sometime ending a friendship could feel like death or a bad breakup but time will heal all wounds

[Hidden]

I had to break up with my childhood friend because she would do things to hurt me and preyed on my kindness and I realized that the relationship ran its course and if she wasn’t trying to get help I couldn’t have her in my life. It’s diff if someone’s trying ya know but if she’s doing all that stealing from you it’s a habit not a mistake in judgement one time .. it’s a habit. She’s one you can’t afford anymore. It’s like a death but worse because their still out there but it’s not there to love anymore. You have to walk take care of yourself and if months down the road she gets help keep her at arms length for a long time change takes time as do habits

I got new friends and picked up new interests or expanded on them and reminded myself that I needed me & she was holding me back unhealthy so I was good with it. I just said to myself don’t look back there’s nothing to lose here but her bad juju

[Sad2Bme]

I feel that it's very necessary to remove this person from your life, so that you can make room for better friends. I know it hurts to end the relationship, but you need to put and leave her in the past. You have to respect yourself enough to let her go. I'm very sorry.

[ribby in reply to Sad2Bme]

Thank you all for your kind responses. The people who said it’s a toxic relationship where very right. I feel a little bit better today, not as sad. I have to have respect for myself and not let a person treat me this way. And that is what I’ll do. I won’t talk to my friend anymore. Thank you again.