And honestly its still hard to accept, she was only 56, was improving everyday since her stroke 5 months ago and out of no where she is gone.
It was just another day, took her shopping, did the usual, and in an instant life changed for ever,no warning sign nothing.
It was only a year earlier I had to do CPR on my elderly next door neighbour but never in a million years did I picture my self having to do CPR on my mother a year later and it still ending up the same way.
Truth be told I really do not want to be here anymore, my mother was such a big part of my life , we was there for each other especially since my father suffers with MS.
As much as I don't want to be here anymore, I keep going for my father and dog,I wake up every morning and its like here goes another day thats felt like the last 18 days.
Any feeling of joy, happiness , hope ,faith is completely gone, Its just a feeling of existing.
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CJ2016
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Honestly I feel far from strong , the next day after it happened I did have a rope around my neck , but my father is going through enough , and I could never put him through that ,sorry your also going through some heartbreak it really does hurt.
You're still going through the hardest part right now, only been 18 days. It will get better. Can you find a counselor online or grief group online. I just read about something new called warm lines as opposed to hotlines. Theyre free telephone numbers you can call to talk as are crisis hotlines. And this great group is here for you.
I think if it carries on ill have to because this hurt is nothing like I've ever experienced to this degree , I have been in dark places but this is the darkest
I lost my mother 5 years ago, she was my only close family I had. I found a counselor that specialized in grief and I did one of the local free grief groups. And it helped. And I remember calling crisis hotlines many times just to have someone to talk to about it.
Thank you its a bag of mixed emotions, disbelief, anger , bitterness , just everything,its like what's the point, you overcome things then to have your life taken in an instant it fills me with a lot of anger.
I now know how my mother felt when she lost both her parents her dad was 49 and her mother 58,but I don't feel like I can be as strong as that honestly.
I have also lost a parent suddenly. And I miss my dad everyday. Many days I cry in my sorrow without him. Mostly everyone looses their parents at some point, so there are many people who can relate to what you are experiencing right now. You’re just part of our club now- the club no one wants to join
I always tell people it’s a different life after losing a parent. It’s not as nice as your life before. We all just try to make due. Message me anytime you feel you need someone who gets it
Thanks appreciate it, I just can't stop living that night over in my head, seeing my mother's face being the last person to speak to her before she lost consciousness, feeling her twitch, hearing the death rattle , seeing her change colour just everything.
As much as I want the nightmare to be over , I won't I promise, as much as it hurts I can't leave my father in limbo seeing as now he depends on me now.
Hi I do sympathise and emphasise with you as I have lost both my parents now. My dad 12 years ago and my mum 7. It does get better and in time the overwhelming moments become less. Not less awful but less often. At first it will be every day, then every few days, then a week and so on. Then one days years ahead you will break down over something silly and the thoughts will come. You never get over the loss of a loved one but you do have to eventually start moving on with your life regardless. It will be different because you are a different person now.
I was alone with my mum when she died and I still keep remembering the dreadful moment when she took her last breath. I was waiting for the next one and it never came.
Give yourself the time and patience to grieve for her, it does get better so hold on to that thought. Hugs (((((((CJ2016))))))) xx
I can say it gets better with time. It is true. However we all heal in our own time and way. Just keep taking it day by day. Remember that your father needs you and your dog. Loss of a loved one takes time to heal. Don't be afraid to cry it is your bodies way of healing someone once told me. Remember you have your memories of her in your heart.
Ask yourself what your mother will think or feel if you hurt yourself because of her.
I which all of us had the faith of my Mom. she never worry about sickness and death. she felt what ever happened God will take care of her. Join me in praying that we receive her faith.
Grief is not a feeling, it’s something one goes through. You have not been through all the stages yet. And don’t let anyone tell you when it’s time to stop grieving. You do this on your time.
I know how that feels I lost my dad June 6 2015 and then my mom may 28 2016 nine days shy of a year apart. The course of that year I lost two friends to taking there own lives my mom's two brothers etc there was nine total. But most of all losing my mom hurt me so bad she wasn't only my mom but my best friend. Pm me if u want to chat about it. My condolences I am so sorry and trust me it don't seem to get any easier hugs and love to you. I'm so so sorry
Sorry for your loss 🙏 she was very young, you Never know when it’s your Time, too many people take life for Granted. Grieve how ever you Need too. Don’t let anyone tell you How too. My father has been dead almost 40 years and I still Miss him🙏 Take care of yourself I’ll Pray for You 🙏
I'm so sorry. I lost my Mum in April (cancer, she was 76). You're still in the early days, when it hurts so much, and it's just overwhelming. You lost yours so young, too, and it must have been traumatic!
It does get easier with time. I'm still getting waves of grief every few days, and my brain keeps pulling stupid tricks on me (eg. I should call Mum! Oh.), but I'm OK about 70% of the time now.
Losing a parent is SO hard. It's normal to feel whatever you feel. You will get through it. You will feel better.
You will not live with the pain forever. You will learn to handle it with time. You’re gonna be okay. Don’t be ashamed of getting help! Try going to a therapist who specializes in grief/loss.
Thanks for the replies, its much appreciated, I really do hope it will get easier, I know there will always be that void there that will never go away, but I just hope in time I'll.be able to live in unison with that void until hopefully I get to meet my mother again.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't give up, allow yourself to grieve. This is normal after all you've been through. Be gentle with yourself and take one step at a time. We are here for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can see where you are coming from. I have been with my boyfriend for 17 years and his father went from kind-of starting to show signs of dementia but still healthy to having a cut on his finger to going to the er to have it checked out because it looked infected to spending the next month in the hospital to spending a week in hospice and passing. I watched him take his last breath and that stays with me. It freaks me out. He was only 59. I want you to know you are not alone and I've found support from the members on this page. I know it's hard, but stay strong. After some time, you will see things will be ok. It just takes time. ❤
I’m so sorry!!!!! That is too young!!! I’m 52 and my biggest fear is losing my mom. She will be 89 soon, but looks and acts 60. I think I’d feel the same way as you! Because it happened so quick for you, it’s a shock. I literally watched my best friend die a horrible death from a rare cancer. She had nobody in her life , but me. I was prepared and wanted her to go at the end. I always try to prepare myself for my mom. I hear there is no such thing. I feel so bad for you! Maybe therapy? I’m glad you have your dog and Father!! My dogs get me through some days because I know they need me. I just thought my bff lost her mom at 57. Her life was never the same , but got better with time. It’s a gap in her life. Ughh it just doesn’t seem fair! Are you religious? I’m sorry I don’t have much advice, but I’m truly sorry and will pray for you. Your mom is is angel now. Maybe there’s something you can do to make her smile. Hugs to you!!!!!
The gut punch was that she was improving and showed no signs of what happened was going to happen that night until it actually happened, I swear my family is cursed.
My mother's parents both passed at a young age my grandfather was 49(heart) and my grandmother 58(cancer).
Cousin commited suicide in 2013,same year a relative got sent down for 12 years, my other two grand parents died at 68 and 72.
My dad having MS and being wheelchair bound, my brother almost dying from necrotising fasciitis in 2017.
I use to pray but with everything that's gone on its hard to believe in a god when things like this happen.
Omggggg!!! I don’t think I would have any faith myself! I question it sometimes, and then sometimes it keeps me going. I try to think it’s not Gods fault.. it’s hard. This sounds corny, maybe you can be the one to stop the “sadness “ make it a goal to find peace and happiness. Maybe not right now but in time. You must be young and can find things to get out of your head. I volunteered with cats. But it closed because of covid. I met different people. I found other purposes. It is so early for you!! Some people seem very unlucky and have sad stories. But there has to be a reason to live your life ( eventually ). I know it’s easy for me to say. But I felt sooo down and depressed for no reason. I finally volunteered, exercised and I feel so much better. Therapy never helped me. But maybe it would help you!!! I’m sorry for your losses and you have a lot of good inside of you to take care of your dad!!! ❤️
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