So, college classes started today after a long pandemic break of 1 year. I thought things would turn out to be alright. But I was wrong. It was still awful as my last 12 academic years.
I've been dealing with depression, social anxiety and OCD for years. The thing is I don't have anything to talk with others, especially girls. Even in a group, I'm the one who remains silent. I don't have so much energy like others in my class. So I don't raise my voice to get attention. Even if I want, I don't have a lot of things to say. So, I just sit alone on corner while everyone talks to each other. I've been feeling like this most of my life. Following this, I feel more depressed and my remaining confidence drains out.
I've even talked with my therapist, but he said it will become better soon. I don't see any improvement. What makes even worse for me is that my parents are extroverts and have friends all over the world. So it alienates me even from my family. Why? What the fuck did i do to receive this life long torture.
I'm loosing my mind, everyone. I don't know how long will i be able to survive this way.....