Still healing

[Bella_m]

I usually post uplifting things about fighting struggles and healing, about finding courage, and I mean every word of it. However, today I will say no such thing, but rather I am going to share my current emotional state, hopefully someone will be able to not feel alone if you’re going through the same thing. So, currently I’ve been feeling like the epitome of sadness. I’ve been feeling extremely lonely and disheartened. At first I thought it was a bad day, but that turned into a bad few days, and eventually left me with a feeling that hasn’t gone away. I can’t describe it as empty— no, I’m not empty— is actually quite full, just of a darker feeling. Melancholy is lingering right behind me, everywhere I go. I’m just so sad. Some moments I feel happy, but it doesn’t last. I have a cloud over my head, I feel like my skin is full of shadows, a weight on my soul. It hurts. But I guess we just have to bear the burden and eventually grow out of it.

[abeemac]

Thankyou for sharing this, this is exactly how I've been feeling recently and until now I couldn't put it into words. x

[Bella_m in reply to abeemac]

I hope we can move past it together <3

[jesseyknee]

Sorry to hear this Bella, my thoughts are with you. The storm will pass x

[Bella_m in reply to jesseyknee]

Thank you love

[Agora1]

It shows you are human Bella x

Sometimes we all need someone else to extend their hand

and say "I Care". I'm glad you choose us.

Let us help you walk this walk by reaching the sunshine again. xx

[Bella_m in reply to Agora1]

You are very kind x

[Jeff1943]

Bella, I think you are experiencing nervous exhaustion and have been for some time. As a result you engage in too much introspection: monitoring your feelings and sensations by the minute almost.

I think your way forward is to temporarily accept all the feelings that an over sensitive nervous system directs your way. Do not try to understand them, just accept them and get on with your life. All that introspection releases hormones that maintain your nerves in that state: it causes more bad feelings the more you monitor them.

So I say again, accept the moods and feelings that come your way for the time being. I emphasise for the time being, not for ever, God forbid. The less you stress and obsess about the bad feelings the less they will bother you and eventually this problem will be resolved. That is true regardless of how long or how deeply you have suffered.

There is nothing unique or new in your feelings, many who have over sensitised their nervous system through over work, worry, disappointment, loss, grief etc experience exactly the same. The feelings are uncomfortable but can do no permanent damage so why fear them so? Why not just accept them for the time being thereby putting them in perspective?

You must also be prepared to let time pass, you spent years getting yourself into this state, allow a little more time to obtain respite and recovery from it.

You are in no danger, you will not feel like this forever, but you must take the first steps towards that recovery through Acceptance.

[Bella_m in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you very much for this <3

[Bella_m in reply to Jeff1943]

And you are right, I think. I appreciate the advice, it is certainly very helpful. X

[BetaTogetha]

Bella thank you for sharing, I think sharing and opening up is really important in our times of hardship. I hear you, as do many others, and we all appreciate you reaching out. You are not alone, we are here for you.

[Bella_m in reply to BetaTogetha]

Thank you it means a lot to me <3

[Bella_m]

Thank you all for your replies, I feel happier knowing you care. I appreciate your advice and kind words, hopefully I will rise above it. Take care x

[Agora1 in reply to Bella_m]

Bella, you are no longer alone xx

[Lets_heal]

Hi Love, have you had blood work to check your levels?