Trying something new

[Azazel]

I’ve been having really bad insomnia the past few days due to nightmares. The last time I had insomnia like this, I had to go to the hospital because it legit made me sick. I was talking to my dad about it and (like the awesome supportive dad he is) he felt bad and offered up advice. He said (these are his words) “I think you need some Jesus” and that got me thinking: I live really close to a church. It’s time for me to get over my crippling social anxiety and go try something new. I don’t have to talk to anyone there yet if I’m not ready. I can just go and observe for a day and if I like it I’ll keep going. I mean, my nightmares are getting to the point where I’m legitimately afraid to fall asleep. I feel like I have nothing to lose. Anyway please wish me luck. I’m really nervous to interact with other human beings.... 😬😬😬

[a_work_in_progress]

Good luck 🤗 I hope you find peace there let us know how it goes

[Azazel in reply to a_work_in_progress]

Thank you. It didn’t go according to plan but I’m still happy I stepped out of my comfort zone. Maybe next time I can make it through a full service

[eharvey8]

I think trying out church is a great idea– especially if it's a church with a focus on welcoming people. I always feel infinitely better when I go to church and am able to connect with the community and God, and it helps me get out of my head and stop focusing on myself and ruminating and just be in the presence of God which is a beautiful thing.

It is also important, however, that you are getting treatment related to your insomnia. Are you seeing a therapist/insomnia specialist? There are specific treatments that are proven to be effective for most with insomnia. They include things like figuring out how much time you actually spend sleeping a night (for example, maybe 4 or 5 hours) and then you limit the amount of time you spend in bed waiting to fall asleep to the amount you expect to sleep (so you get in bed 4 or 5 hours before you need to wake up). That way, you start training your body to know when to be asleep.

It's also important that you don't get too stressed about the fact that you can't get to sleep because that can make the insomnia worse. I know insomnia is horrible and all you want is to be able to get a good night's sleep, but it's good to remind yourself as your sitting trying to fall asleep that the worst thing that could happen is that you are tired the next day. In therapy, that is called challenging your catastrophic thoughts. I know in your case you have ended up in the hospital before for this, and that is clearly not ideal and I'm so sorry it comes to that sometimes, but working on these little things (with a trained professional) can help you get better day by day and not get to that point.

I wish you the best of luck with all of this and I am especially thinking about and praying for you as you try Church out! God bless.

[Azazel in reply to eharvey8]

Thank you so much, I’m really considering getting a therapist. I think that would be important. (I was gonna write more but totally lost my train of thought 😅)

[Azazel]

Update... I couldn’t make it through the service. The combination of how sick I felt from insomnia mixed with my social anxiety was just way too much. There were so many people there and I felt like I was gonna cry for no reason. I mean I’m glad I tried something new but I’m really disappointed I couldn’t follow through. I felt so sick to my stomach though. On the upside, I was able to squeeze in a two hour nap. Maybe next Sunday I’ll try somewhere else...

[eharvey8 in reply to Azazel]

I’m sorry the service didn’t go as well as you’d hoped but it’s incredible that you got yourself there! That’s what they call baby steps! I hope you’re proud of yourself for just getting out there. Also, trying a contemporary/modern church that has a strong focus on welcoming people could be a good idea and might help (unless people approaching you to welcome you might be anxiety inducing). Also, I would 100% recommend a therapist. Mine has helped me through so much and there are proven treatments to help us get through these hard experiences. Hang in there!

[Azazel in reply to eharvey8]

People approaching me is pretty anxiety inducing, but at the same time it would remind me a lot of the church I grew up with. Everyone knew everyone and they all had each other’s backs. Thank you for being so encouraging 😊

[pianoplayer90]

Good luck

[Azazel in reply to pianoplayer90]

Thank you 😊