I’m noticing negative changes about myself

As the years go by, I notice how hard it’s becoming for me to do little things. When I turned 16, I was so excited to get my license. I got my license and drove everywhere I wanted and needed to go. Now I’m 20 and I have terrible anxiety in cars even if I’m not driving. I also used to love family parties. I would always be so excited to see everyone and dance, but now I hate parties and I sit the entire time with hopes that nobody will notice me because I don’t want anyone to talk to me. In high school I heavily participated in “spirit week” wearing the craziest outfit it I could put together for “wacky tacky day”, and I didn’t care if other people laughed cuz it was a fun day to just wear a ridiculous outfit. The current me would NEVER participate because I’m boring and I don’t want anyone looking at me or laughing. I used to be able to go to the store and now when I go, I get extremely anxious and frustrated because I don’t like to be around too many people. I used to have a job and then that became extremely nerve racking and overwhelming so now I’m unemployed. I used to be in school full time and now I’m taking ONE class ONLINE because school gives me panic attacks. I’ve also gained a lot of weight in the last few years so, I don’t even wear the same clothes anymore or look like myself. I never wear dresses, tank tops, crop tops, or shorts...which are clothes I used to love wearing. I used to always answer my phone when people called or texted and were annoyed with people who didn’t but recently I’ve been noticing that I haven’t been responding to anyone at all anymore. I didn’t use to sob myself to sleep every night but now I do. I wake up tired no matter how many hours I sleep. Always out of breath, having chest pains, and migraines. People always say “it gets better” and I know they mean well when they say that but sometimes it can be extremely frustrating to hear. I’ve been told that for a long time but it seems like things have only gotten worse for me. I need advice... Someone please help me.

[Agora1]

You know Virgo we all do our growing at different rates. For me, high school was a nightmare because I was so shy and never a part of the in group. When I was 20, I enjoyed working so much that I worked 2 jobs 7 days a week. But it wasn't until I got into my 30's did I find myself and became satisfied in who I became.

After all, I was the same person but I grew emotionally both in self esteem and confidence.

That could make all the difference in the world. You see Virgo, you are still so young. I can't believe that in those few years between 16-20 you did and experienced all that you wanted to do in life. Something happened that brought anxiety into the picture and until that is addressed, you will keep trying to hide or run from living. Somewhere along the way you stopped loving yourself and with that comes boredom and depression.

With no hopes or dreams for the future, you start to experience physical symptoms as well as emotional ones. Having Migraines, breathlessness and chest pains are all anxiety produced. When we are unhappy, so is our body and it tightens up and can't relax.

Things do get better with time. Whether you believe that or not can cause you to stay in this ever suffering cycle of nothingness. You've seem to have lost who you were in high school but know that that person is still there inside you. She is waiting for you to accept and love yourself. When you feel confident once again, you won't find the need to hide. Others can

sense by their walk that here is someone who they would like to know and talk with.

Until the time is right for you, use this safe site to talk and compare your journey in life with others your age maybe going down the same path. I was there at one time. The difference is that I believed that I would one day become the person I was meant to be and it happened.

It will for you as well. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I was literally just crying cuz I wrote this in hopes that someone would reply but nobody did and then I get a notification that someone replied and it made me smile. Thank you for your kind words. It really means a lot ❤️

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Virgo, it is always my pleasure to help young people through my own experiences.

We all need that little guidance at different times of our life. I wish you well. I'm here

if you ever need to talk. You are in a great forum. You're going to be okay. Wipe your

tears and Breathe. You are not alone xx

[XoxoFaith]

Hi virgo I understand you I used to also do so many things with out fear now I always try to avoid things too but I always push myself to do them anyways and feel better after are you on any medication maybye that’s an option that helped me or therapy is also something good to try I also go on walks it helps me too

[Hidden in reply to XoxoFaith]

Thank you for your advice! I’m gonna try going on walks. I think it could help.

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for sharing. One thing I have had to tell myself is not to look back and focus on my used tos. I have to look forward to how to get where I want to be now in my life. My first question is it sounds like you are struggling with depression and anxiety. Have you seen your doctor about this or gone to a therapist? I know from experience that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. I don't know why it happens, but for some people the chemicals in the brain get off and need proper medication and counseling to help. Also awareness of what is triggering these feelings. It was explained to me once this way, just like when a diabetic is struggling with their sugar levels being off and need insulin to help them, the same thing happens with those struggling with depression and anxiety - the chemicals are off in our brain. I face this most often around my time of the month but being aware of why I am feeling bad helps. I also have to not be so hard on myself and I have to be honest, that is particularly hard for me as I want everything to be perfect and that is not possible. So lowering my expectations, especially when I am not feeling well brings me some relief. Telling myself this is temporary and I will feel better. Not focusing on the negative and trying to do things that will help me live in the moment and encourage myself. These two techniques below work for me along with prayer and trusting God. I talk to God daily and really try to let go of all that is concerning me. It is not easy, but I try to do this over and over to bring some relief and peace.

The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I matter, I am special, I am strong and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thought. I do this one to three times a sitting. The gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of the anxiety and depression and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those.I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless

[Hidden in reply to lovetodance2018]

Wow I really appreciate you commenting. It really means a lot. I feel like I’m really going through it right now and I never have anyone to talk to. When I’m in extra bad shape I go on to this app for comfort and when I didn’t receive anything, I just felt worse so just know that this truly means a lot. I don’t have any health insurance nor do I have any money so it’s kinda hard for me to see a doctor right now but I wish I could. I’ll definitely try out the breathing techniques and gratitude journal. I think it could help. Thanks again ❤️

[lovetodance2018 in reply to Hidden]

If you need someone to chat with. Please feel free to pm me. I would be happy to chat. Also, this group is very supportive and can provide guidance on how you can get some counseling. bit.ly/2DS3v7S I have learned to put God first in my life which has really brought me peace. I still spiral, especially during my time of the month, but I don't fall as deep and practice the techniques I shared with you previously. I will continue to pray for you. Hugs

[Espejo1024]

Hi to you, my new friend. ❤️You are just describing diffrent phases of your life, it's not unheard of although it does seem like you changed drastically. I'm not sure where you live but maybe you should stop with any classes and focus on self care, especially while you are going through this difficult time period.

You really are young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You really need to get help from a licensed counselor to work through these changes and find out why you are so different in the last few years. If you call this number (855-382-5433) someone can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor.

Do you have a good relationship with your parents, siblings or close friends? You need someone to talk honestly with to help you. I'm going to send you a private message too. God bless you, sweetie. Sending you virtual hugs and prayers now.

[Hidden in reply to Espejo1024]

I agree! I really have to start trying to take care of myself. I just feel like I’m running out of energy these days and it’s hard to do literally anything. I’m an only child and I don’t have a very great relationship with my dad. He lives in a different state and we don’t always get along. My mom doesn’t understand what I go through. She just thinks I’m lazy so I just don’t talk to her about my problems anymore. I also don’t have any friends...I have a boyfriend who I’ve been with for 5 years. He’s an amazing guy but he can’t always tell me what I want to hear cuz he doesn’t understand it all, which I get. Thanks for my virtual hugs lol.... I could really use them right now.