I’m new here :)

[abbyb1738]

Hi I’m new here and I don’t know if this will work but I’m very depressed and it’s getting worse. I can’t go to school and had to switch to cyber, I had to quit my job, I’ve flaked on so many plans, my boyfriend broke up with me. I’m a senior in high school and I’m also struggling with figuring out what I want to do for the rest of my life because I don’t like doing anything nor am I good at anything. I’m just getting so frustrated with life and don’t want to do it anymore.

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We are all here for you. If you ever need to talk I'm here

[Momplus4]

Abby, I have 4 daughters and we need you here! Find a way to control your negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. For every negative thought, replace it with 3 positive ones, they can be similar just change the words.

I hope this helps you a little. It really helped me!

[lena16]

Message me with any questions or feelings you may have because reading this was like reading about myself and I can be a source of encouragement for you! I find it easier to encourage others when I can’t encourage myself bc it’s still positivity even if you don’t feel it.

Also, this is probably gonna be a long message so feel free to ignore it. It addresses the school and work aspect of your message.

I withdrew halfway through the spring semester my sophomore year of college bc my depression got so bad. It was shocking for me bc I usually was able to suck it up and power through and at least be semi-functional until I couldn’t. I also cut down my work hours bc I couldn’t get out of bed but still needed a job. What motivated me to finish school wasn’t my ambition but the fact that my scholarships and financial aid was for 8 semesters and so if i didn’t graduate on time I would never graduate bc I couldn’t afford to pay for it. I needed a college degree to make my mom proud(education is the golden ticket to many immigrant families) and she didn’t even know I dropped out that semester (the way I finessed the school and everyone around me, I’m still confused and impressed with myself to this day) and I’m glad I finished it, but it was a miserable experience and When I graduated last spring I had no nostalgia and was ready to leave. This is not at all how I would recommend college.

My advice: Just finish high school in any way that you can and then take a gap year and work on your mental health so you can at least be functional before going to college if that is in your plans. I wish I didn’t jump right into college when I clearly wasn’t in a healthy mindset and had no idea what I wanted bc I stopped liking the things I used to and lost joy in life in general. But I did it and I survived it so no looking back. However, I can tell you that it will be so much better for you to be healthy first rather than force yourself to do something because I would have performed much better in college if I could get out of bed lol.

Not knowing what you want to do bc you don’t care about anything thanks to this illness is something a lot of people relate to, i still feel like that right now and its been years, although I am much better at managing these feelings. You’re young and I was like you a few years ago, and I’m still here making life work and taking things one small victory at a time!

[abbyb1738 in reply to lena16]

That was really nice. Thank you for taking the time to tell me your story and give me that really good advice. Hearing that it’s okay to take a gap year means a lot so thank you

[lena16 in reply to abbyb1738]

Yes take one! I wanted to take a gap year to figure life out but my mom told me that only rich people did that. That is not true! The ones who travel to find themselves need money, but there are so many other ways to spend that year that isn’t costly. Also if you already applied to colleges you can defer for a year and not lose your spot or any financial aid you may have gotten. With scholarships as long as you talk to the organization or benefactor it should be fine. Not sure the exact details bc I ended up not taking a gap year.

[abbyb1738 in reply to lena16]

Thank you so much! It means a lot

[Kainan]

Hi. I think that's really common, not knowing what it is you want. And that can even feed the depression. I felt the same heading into college. It might be a good idea to take some time to try different things and figure out what works for you, what doesn't, and what kinds of things bring you joy and what you would want to pursue further. I rushed into college along with everyone else and had a really bad time. If I could do it again I would do it way different and first get more comfortable with myself and try to figure out what it is I really want. Everybody is on their own journey, and there is no need to necessarily follow the beaten path

[califa]

I think that you are depressed. My advice is to look for professional help.

[Rachel2535]

I went through years of never seeing my worth...health issues seemed to be ruining everything and taking my life away. Until one day someone helped open my eyes to the fact that I was allowing my illness and limitations to define me, to win control. I am a stubborn person at times and I realized nothing should have that much control over me except God. You are worth the fight towards wellness. Find a good counselor to help you get out of that pit of depression. You are uniquely made and have so much worth in this world don’t let this win. I am praying for you-Rachel