Hi everyone! I'm new here I just joined about an hour ago and finally worked up the courage to post something. I find it crazy that we're all going through something right now and I know you all won't judge me, but I still have crippling anxiety even thinking about posting this. I'm a 21-year-old nursing student and was diagnosed with GAD and MDD. I've sought out therapy in the past but had a horrible therapist who told me I was "too pretty and too smart to feel bad for myself." That was in 2015 when I was 15 years old before I was diagnosed, and I haven't gone back since. I guess I'm hoping to feel less alone by posting on here. I'm blessed with a boyfriend who cares about me and friends who do as well but as much as they want to understand they never will. I'm currently supposed to be weaning off of Wellbutrin and Lexapro, however the other day I had the bright idea to stop taking all meds altogether and it's been pretty rough since. I'm moody, constantly wanting to cry, refusing to get out of bed, and have to put on a fake smile so people don't worry. I hope you all are doing well and I think the main thing I'm hoping for is to hear from other people and that I'm not alone because I feel really isolated right now.
Lots of love xoxo
Written by
Bearcats
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I’ve been on Lexapro for 3 years and just started Wellbutrin a month ago. As a nursing student, you are learning it’s important to consult your doctor before discontinuing medication but I took myself off a medication last summer in an ill advised way. 😳 We all make mistakes.
The way you’re feeling is normal. Your brain is sorting things out.
I don’t really identify with my diagnoses. Yes, I’m affected by them but I see them as my brain’s normal response to trauma in my past. There is nothing inherently wrong with me but my brain has been injured and I need to care for it until it is functioning in a more optimal way. For me, this includes medication for now, but my long term strategies are research based and include yoga, massage, and breathing exercises.
I appreciate you saying the way I'm feeling is normal, sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy so it's always nice to hear. I thought about trying yoga and alternative forms of medicine to try and control it better, you'll have to let me know if they work for you. Thank you!
Hi Bearcats. I respect your feeling terrified about posting. There are support groups where I have felt that way. But this isn’t one of them and that’s why I joined this HU community. You deserve to be heard. Give yourself the same latitude to express yourself that I bet you give everyone else......
I really appreciate you commenting that. I plan to stay active on here for a while, you all seem amazing and so supportive!
sending lots of love xoxo
Don't think it's wise at all to just stop taking your medication. I tried that and it's horrible. Let time pass and slowly work yourself off of your meds. What's the big rush to get off so quickly? Think your increasing your anxiety tremendously.
It definitely did increase my anxiety a ton, so you're right on that. None of my friends take any medications so I guess I felt kind of like the freak who does and decided to completely stop them to feel 'normal.' In hindsight, it would've been easier on myself to ween I guess I just got in my own head. I appreciate your input!
I had to get off of Benzos two years ago. Tried cold turkey...what a huge mistake had to call crisis hotline crying first morning. Long story short Slow and steady getting off is the only way to go in my opinion. And you should not get off them if your doctors and therapist don't think it's a good idea. Accept your anxiety and the feelings in your body let time pass that is the key.
Hi, I have a BSN so I know how stressful clinicals are. A psychiatrist told me if you’ve had 2-3 episodes of depression you may have to be on meds the rest of your life. Lexapro is supposed to be good for anxiety/ depression and Wellbutrin is for depression and often helps with energy. The concern I have when pts go off anti-depressants is if you need to go back on- it’s 6-8 weeks to take effect. If you’re having bad side effects that’s different. At your age I was embarrassed to be on anti-depressants (I hope you’re not) but when I told my a close friend- she knew peo. on them. It’s not weak to take antidepressants- it tells me you’re a fighter. When I was young I was told ‘someone as pretty as you shouldn’t be sad.’ It’s like saying you should feel grateful and not depressed; I suppose they’re unaware that depression/anxiety is as complex and real a disease as diabetes or heart disease. You’d never hear a comment, “you’re too pretty to have diabetes”. Anyway- it can take several tries to find a counselor you feel is helpful- don’t feel bad switching counselors until there’s a good fit. Wishing you all the best!!! You’re welcome to PM if I can help with stuff/ support you as you complete your awesome goal of being an R.N. I joined the U.S. Air Force Nurse Corps right out of school (amazing 8 years!)
You are so amazing, being an air force nurse seems like a very stressful but rewarding job. I need to cope with the fact it's okay to be on medications. I'm at the point where none of my friends are on them and I feel like I'm the 'mentally unstable' friend even though I know that's not the case. How did you cope with not being embarrassed about it anymore? I know it's a disease process and we physically cannot help it but I can't get over the fact I do feel weak but I want to feel like the fighter. I appreciate you commenting, I definitely might have to take you up on your offer to PM you. Your comment meant so much, thank you!
I felt the exact same way at your age. Our society teaches us that having mental illness is being deficient, weak, or less than. First of all, until you feel more comfortable being on them don’t tell people- especially if you don’t know their reaction. Negative reactions come from ignorance or the person’s inner unhappiness. I’ve known psychiatrists, surgeons, generals on anti-depressants; they know treating depression allows them to serve themselves and others better if they are healthy. You are courageous and strong for getting treatment. You will start to feel more comfortable taking them once you see the benefits. There’s still stigma around mental health unfortunately but gradually it will change. Finding the right anti-depressant can be hard so don’t give up if you run into challenges/ ask questions here and talk with your doc. PM anytime ; ) post anytime- you’re not alone, you’ll get some good insight, and we’re cheering you on. You’ve got this!!
Welcome to this site of amazing people. You are not alone. I am sorry you are going thru a lot. As long as you take ur meds, see ur therapists and find support u will be fine. All these don't take away our problems but sure does help us manage them.
Welcome to HU. I am so happy you reached out here. You will feel connecting with others who understand the struggles with depression and anxiety very helpful. Why are you trying to wean off of your medication? I have learned through years of struggling with depression and anxiety that is it both chemical and the way I think about things. First we have to get the chemical under control before we can deal with how we deal with things. I tried to go off of Wellbutrin about three times in my life, when I was doing better, however, my depressive spiral was worse and quicker each time. I spoke with a psychiatrist who put things into perspective for me. Depression is an illness I struggle with not who I am. So just like a diabetic needs the right amount of insulin to keep their sugar in balance, so does a person who struggles with depression need the right medication and dosage to balance out the chemicals in their brain. I have come to the conclusion that it is OK to be on medication if it helps keep me stable. The second part is how I think and cope. I have had to work on this with therapy and working with a healthy life coach. I found tools that help me catch myself when I am doing self-defeating negative self talk and how to stop and change those thoughts before I start to spiral.
Two of those techniques are: The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I matter, I am special, I am strong and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thought. I do this one to three times a sitting. The gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of the anxiety and depression and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those.
I also spend time in prayer and centering my thoughts to focus on God and not on my concerns and situations. I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless
that means everything when you said you’ll be praying for me, I appreciate you so much. I think I might start trying the 557 thing I’ve heard people talk about but haven’t tried it myself. I’m at the point where I just need to learn to be happy with myself and not try to get off the meds, that’s the part I’m struggling with. I think the 557 breathing could definitely be helpful, I really appreciate you sharing that with me. I hope you’re in a good place, you seem like a amazing inspiring person!
I do hope you try the 557 breathing. It really does help. Feel free to contact me anytime. Most of the time I am doing well. However, once in a while I still feel my chemicals go off, and those days, I remind myself my feelings are temporary, give myself a break, and that will help me feel better and avoid spiraling. Sending lots of love your way too. xoxoxo
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
xx Thank you for all you did 
Newbie looking for support 
Looking for advice from other parents.
Looking for advice
Looking for advice for my 16 yr old son 
New and looking for writing advice! 
