LOOKING FOR ADVICE

[Kiltyman]

Hello friends, . Seriously though I need some help. I have a situation I'm not sure how to handle because I fear I could lose my only son's contact with me. That would devastate me completely. I recently had to ask my son for some financial help. Not a lot just to help cover an unexpected health related cost. My son and his wife live 4 thousand miles away. Our only contact is text or telephone. To explain further I am divorced from my children's mother more than 20 years ago. My son is in his mid 30s and has 2 pre schoolers, my beautiful grandchildren. Anyway I got the feeling from my son that he was not happy I asked for money. He gave it to me but since then he seems more distant. I hadn't heard from him for several days and just figured he was busy. He is a firefighter so that's possible. Yesterday I sent a brief text telling him I was just thinking of him and his family and hoped all was well and that I loved them all. Some 9 hours ago he read my text but never replied. I'm afraid to ask him what's wrong? Because I don't want to lose him. My 2 adult daughters do not talk to me which is enough pain. They just want me to feel guilty even after over 20 years. Can anyone understand me and offer some advice. Thank you so much

[Hidden]

HI there hope your day is going well, don't think you need to worry to much as he lent you the money and no doubt will want it back so not much point in him not ever talking to you again, I reckon you are right he is just busy and then maybe got caught up doing other stuff, good luck let us all know when you hear from him and that everything is ok,

[Kiltyman in reply to Hidden]

You're probably right. Just bad timing when I was feeling lonely and missed them all so much.

[Hidden in reply to Kiltyman]

everything will be ok

[quitter333]

“We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.” – Seneca. I think that's enough said. Also dude is 30 with 2 kids... I live next doors to my father and even I try to be super family-friendly in short bursts, before I am off to do business elsewhere. There's little time, so much to see, especially if you are thirty.

[Kiltyman in reply to quitter333]

But such a little thing like Hi! Thanks for the message. We are good. Is that really asking too much?

[quitter333 in reply to Kiltyman]

I wouldn't concern myself aboout it at all. I think for a son a message from you AFTER you complete your mesical or whatwver needs "Hey, thanks, i did x and y with money. It was very useful, I am vwry thankful, love you", Is all your son needs.

[Kiltyman in reply to quitter333]

Already sent that message the same day I received the 200 bucks. But I hear what you are saying. Guess I'm just too old school thinking that no one is so busy they can't spend 10 seconds on a text!

[Catwoman2018]

Hello my friend, I really wouldn't worry, your son didn't have to help you but he did, that in itself shows he cares. .He could've said no. I would just leave it for now, I know you're hoping for a reply but maybe he will in his own time. I have 4 adult children, and I often don't get a reply for days, depends what they're up to. I'm always here for you. x

[Kiltyman in reply to Catwoman2018]

Thanks I think you are right. Just hard to understand how a person's life can be so busy they don't have a moment for their father. Doesn't help my already anxious state most of the time. Then the mind comes up with all the negative crap it can to make things worse. I'm sure he cares but my screwed up brain does not want me to believe that. It's all part of the PTSD depression and anxiety.

[AuntBee]

Have you ever borrowed money from him before? If so did you pay it back promptly? Did you make an agreement on how the money would be paid back? Payments or a lump sum by a certain time? He may feel obligated to help you but his wife may not be supportive. Is it possible he’s getting some grief from her?

[Kiltyman in reply to AuntBee]

Have no idea? Never borrowed before. Never had to. Already paid him back. The loan was for medications which are no longer free to me. His wife may not like it but I would have to ask to avoid speculating which could open a whole new can of worms. Right!

[AuntBee in reply to Kiltyman]

So if you borrowed money and you already paid it back I doubt his lack of response has anything to do with that. Maybe he’s just busy. Try not to think too much into it. Give him some time.

[Hidden]

As your country is a member of the Eu then as you are a citizen of the EU you should be entitled to information on updating an expired passport. As you have been so poorly, it has been difficult to update your resident status and your passport status. So many people do not renew their passport, as ex pats and this facility should be available.

I hope you have contacted your family, as you need to keep them in the picture and explain your health problems. The occupation your son has sounds strenuous and stressful and having a young family money is tight. We sometimes think are family are more affluent with spare money when they are not.