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social anxiety & depression

gabrielle00 profile image

how to talk about things besides your own depression? what do you talk about with others when you feel stupid and worthless? I find that when people try and talk to me, they are always referencing things I dont know about or are making jokes that go over my head....

5 Replies

I talk about things that make me happy or think of things that made me laugh 😄

So one thing I have noticed with your posts is that you say things like I am stupid or worthless a lot. This is just not true based on all the other things you write and how you write in general. So one thing I would work on in particular is self compassion. Be kinder to yourself. Once you take that burden away you will find it easier to talk to people and to recall or understand things.

Pertaining to your above questions, if someone talks about something you don't know or understand ask them about it. People like to talk, especially about themselves, so by asking them they get a chance to talk and you can learn something new. If you don't want to learn anything new, let the person speak, listen attentively and then when they say something that reminds you of something else interject and say "oh that reminds me of ...". You can steer the conversation how you would like it with a little practice. Just don't do it to the point that you are denying others a chance to speak. And the final point here is the most simple. If you can't relate to the current people you are talking to find those you can relate to. You don't have to force yourself to be part of a group you don't want to be in. And you don't have to force yourself to like things that others do to simply be their friend. Find other common interests to talk about and work with those things.

For example, I know a person who does a lot with radio. He is really into the mechanics of it. Frequency and how you can interact with different things. I couldn't care less about any of that. So when he does talk about that stuff I listen and ask questions if I don't understand. Or I simply wait for the topic to change so I can contribute. I don't try and force myself to do things that others do. It's just never going to amount to anything good.

If there is one thing I am pretty sure of is that u are not worthless or stupid. This is all in ur head. Now, when it comes to continuing a discussion with a person, find the frequency in the discussion. I have noticed here at HU that people would talk with anyone with respect which I love very much. U can even get in the middle of the conversation and talk to a person. You can even find pas post and comment on the ones that interest you and start a conversation. I am not a person who posts a lot bcz I am not a starter by nature and I embrace that but I very much do follow and I usually sync with what is being talked about. Also what helps is find a connection, people are different in nature, you will most definately find a person who is similar to you I know you are not the only one who is your type, get that person and start conversation and as u do, u will find more things about that person and even crack jokes which usually adds to the strength of any friendship. I trust you thou bcz u have realized what you don't like about yoursf

My strategy for most conversations is to ask questions because this helps move conversations forward. If there is something that you aren't familiar with that others are talking about, ask them to explain. If the people you are in conversation with become critical of you not understanding, that shows you that they are not worth your time/effort to continue to engage with them. Hope that helps :)

Hi. You can talk about your hobbies, the weather, sport, a favorite restaurant opened in town, your fav dish, songs, films.... Just breathe 🤗🌈🙏xxx

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