just left mom's earlier; as i'm getting in the car to come home from staying there 2 days - got word my uncle (mom's brother) just sent to ICU.
and as if i need more to deal w/ my tire is very low...
more crap about my bro... i just wanna crawl in a hole...
I'm so sorry. You have had so much to deal with.
Oh goodness I am so sorry about that 🥺 hugs 🫂 and support ❤️
OMG I'm sorry to hear about your uncle going into the ICU. This must be very difficult for your mother to handle right now as well as yourself. There was a time that I wrote on here "Stop the World, I want to get off" Of course the world didn't stop and neither did I. I kept
going forward and as things will, they settle down after a while or we learn to accept what we have no control over.
Right now, first things first. Get that tire fixed. Sounds like you are going to be traveling
back and forth some in this snow. Wishing you strength in getting through this next curve in the road.
TY, agora!
yep... gotta try to take it 1 at a time... put air in tire - see if it continues to leak...
be ready to run back over to mom's again...
re-pack my bags to be ready.
try like hell to get some sleep and recharge.
try to make it thru the next day...
.
at least ... that's plan A.... :-|
Sounds like a good Plan A but as I have learned in the past, it's always good
to have a Plan B in mind for that "just in case". Wishing you some REM sleep
tonight, you need it. I hope your uncle is going to be okay. A virtual hug for your mom.
Geeeeeze! When it rains it pours! Do you have access to family counseling or even individual counseling? We here are (speaking only for myself) as safe support system yes, but sometimes these things need more in depth assistance, in addition to what goes on here .You well get through this. I may have suggested this before. You need to step back, order your priorities, establish boundaries and most importantly choose your level of involvement and know when to disengage. Not an easy thing to do. One step at a time.
"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger". Take care of YOU first.
laz - ty so much... yea tell me bout it!
i do have individ counsel - hopefully tomorrow - but havn't got confirmation yet... really want mom to seek help - but she not yet... can only lead horse to water....
.
i do need step back and prioritize.. if only i had time... LOL
i know ... need make time... for me .... but i'm not so good at doing for me...
need to work on that...
.
as for making us stronger.... just please kill me and spare me the pain!!! 
I’m sorry to hear that Rob. Sending you much love n lights ❤️🙏xxx
holy crap... just got update....
my uncle's had a stroke and grand mal seizure... and is apparently still alive...
my aunt (his ex-wife; and no longer has medical power) has spoken with him... or to be accurate - has spoken TO him... grandkids have done same; and basically said their goodbyes...
at this point - i'm now hoping he passes... but i can only assume 1 of my cousins is keeping him on life support - for god only knows why....
i guess she wants to either torture him, or drag out the pain for everyone as long as she possibly can...
and yes - i have an impossibly, you wouldn't believe it - fracked up family. that i'm not in a rubber room drooling onto my diapers - is simply miraculous. 
Oh my friend, what could possibly happen next? I'm so sorry everything
is hitting you hard right now. What can I say, what can I do? I'm at a loss
My doctor won't prescribe any benzos for me. I never had a problem with addiction in my life. I have serious social anxiety and agoraphobia and panic attacks. I need something to go out in public. Any reason why the denial?
hi blue - i'm so sorry for the delay in replying... i've really had my hands full... and i also wanted to give you my full attention in my reply.
it would be hard for me to speculate as to why the denial, without knowing more about your history; or even which doctor denied you.
but i'll offer some blind speculation - which you should take only with a grain of salt... i don't know what kind of dr. your doc is... but if your doc is your internist, or GP - then the denial may simply be due to fear of liability. with the rampant addiction problems and abuses of prescription drugs in this country - i'd put my money on fear of liability as the #1 reason (that assumes you're in the usa - which is also unknown to me - there may be other local reasons depending on where in the world you are).
if your doc is a psychiatrist - then i'm a bit more confused - because they should be comfortable prescribing a benzo or even an alternative for you.
...
on another note, blue - i'm not sure how bad your social anxiety is - but i'm very impressed and i congratulate you for reaching out to me!!! that's a gold star moment for you!
.
i'd be happy to discuss this further with you, or any of your issues... if you're more comfortable, you can PM (private message) me; and i will consider that conversation private.
I’m really sorry for what you are going through. That is a lot. Remember self care. ❤️
Hang in there. How are they now?
i'm trying, zoom... all i can do to just hang on right now...
i'm catchin up on replies... about to post a general update...
LC... tytyty ... and no worries... i wish i had air for both our tires! :-|
hey guys; can't say how much i appreciate evryones support...
got another update; my uncle's been removed from ALL life support - we're now waiting for him to conclude his earthly journey....
.
deja frackin vu...
i'm emo burned out n Xhausted.
Deep breath and maybe tomorrow a better day
new update;
just heard that my uncle has gone into sepsis...
he will likely pass today....
my uncle passed last night...
mom is now the last of her generation...
Oh wow. I am so very sorry, Rob. I don't know what else to say....
I am so truly sorry, expected or not, it's a hard pill to swallow
I feel for your mom in losing both a husband and a brother.
My condolences to you as well x
TY, agora...
it's been a really devastating few weeks...
TY always - for your thoughts, and continued support!
13ga, from the very beginning your hardships during the last several weeks
have honestly brought me to tears. I can usually keep my composure but knowing that you are struggling at this very moment, I can relate when there was a time for me that it seemed like there was one passing after another.
I know words can't say enough right now in taking away your pain and so my virtual friend, I sent a caring hug in hopes this helps some.
agora, your thoughts and words touch me deeply. you are truly an amazing person; capable of empathy i didn't know was possible.
i'm proud, and joyous to tell you, that your words bring tears to my eyes - and i thought i was all cried out. thought i hit "empty". but you've managed to show me there's apparently a reserve tank i didn't know there.
i wish and hope i could pay you back for your kindnesses.
i accept your hug, so badly needed; and return a long squeezy hug!
tytyty 💜💜💜💜💜 xxx
hi <1;
i'm sorry to hear about your pain. i know all too well about the pain that ensues when someone we trust lies and/or betrays our trust.
i also appreciate in a very personal way - your choice of name. i think i've spent most of my life feeling "less than whole". and when i found something that for the 1st time, brought me close to whole; that too was ripped away...
.
liars are all around us. we cannot escape them. they even pursue us here - seeking to prey on the vulnerable for who can even say why or what purpose.
there are some truly evil people out there, inhuman in all respects save for appearance, and the only thing that matters to them - is them. and worse yet - they're breeding and propagating their ways. we cannot avoid them. we can only TRY to be prepared, and on guard for them.
it sounds as if you could've been hurt worse than you were. and that's something to try to hold on to, and be thankful for... but i also know how hard that is - and that knowledge doesn't help anywhere near as we'd like, to mitigate the pain and/or damage.
i hope you can find, and ask for help in the area's you lack experience, so that you can get the peace of mind you need to move on...
I understand. You have been hit with so much.
Will i ever recover? Am i cursed? You've seen my horrific feed. What should I do 
Does it ever get better
My first therapy session ever for Anxiety 
Does Depression/Anxiety Ever Go Away
