How do I become the person I was?

[Christine1115]

For the past 2.5 years I have been happy and content. Now in the past 3 months I feel sad, restless, anxious and not my self. I’ve been on Effexor 150 mg, when I started feeling like this I tried to change to another medication, thinking that it stopped working. I’m second guessing if I’m a good mom, good friend, or even a good partner to my boyfriend. Has anyone else felt this way?!?! How did you over come it, what technique did you use?

[FearIsALiar]

I’m on Effexor 150 mg too.

I have felt this way too but remember you won’t become the person you were again. You will only become an even better person with the work of therapy and self help books 📚

You’re definitely not alone. What helps is asking yourself questions like

- How is this thought true? How am I not a good mom/girlfriend etc. I’m sure you can definitely find more things about yourself that are amazing but you just choose to pick yourself apart. Try and make a list of the positives 💕😊

[Agora1]

Hi Christine, when on medication, it is always best to check with your doctor to see

if it possibly isn't working anymore. That happened to me at one time. I eventually got off my med and substituted it with daily Meditation. Using Affirmations is a good way to get

the subconscious mind to flip over to a more positive thinking. (You are the best you can be)

Positive reinforcement on a daily basis retrains your brain and pushing out the negative thoughts and doubts. Hope this helps some xx

[Bigbrighteyes96]

Hi Christine. Anxiety seeks reassurance so try not to reassure yourself. I know it is easier said then done! Nobody is perfect, we are all trying to be good, but we are all flawed people. We all need to learn to accept and love ourselves faults and all.

[MissmollyR]

Hi Christine1115,

The way you are feeling isn’t you, it’s the depression/anxiety. I have felt like you have off and on over the years, especially when I’m experiencing extra stress in my life, a big life change or loss. Sometimes medications stop being therapeutic and this could be due to changes in our body chemistry or added stress. Sometimes our dosage needs to be increased. I was on Effexor 225mg per day and had to switch to another medication. The new medication seems to be helping. I know what you mean about doubting yourself and not feeling like you’re enough. That’s why I started psychotherapy over 3 years ago. It takes time and effort to retrain your mind if it is used to listening to that critical voice. You might try reading books or podcasts by Brene Brown on shame. Also, I found mindful-self compassion. MSC is a course you can take. I’ve taken it a few times and it helps. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to feel however you’re feeling. We are all human. Acknowledge your suffering and learn to “be” with it. For me, being with difficult emotions like shame, anger, sadness tends to trigger more shame because we are taught it’s not normal when it is. I’m trying to live with the intention of progress over perfection. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

[HopeandOptimism]

HI Christine, this can happen....and it can happen on or off medication! We all hit times that are really hard, that make the day to day feel so stressful. It is important to talk to your doctor who is prescribing your medication and let him/her know what you are experiencing. It is also good to work with a counselor when you are on medication to work through the anxiety and depression; we all need tools for those hard days when we just feel lost and unsure as to how to feel better. COVID, unrest in our country, stressful economic times have all added to our already anxious state. Make YOU a priority and work with a counselor to safely vent all that you are going through. Take long walks when you can, dance in your living room, call a trusted friend, read a favorite book or watch a favorite movie. Light your favorite scented candle, listen to uplifting podcasts, buy yourself your favorite cup of tea or coffee. Do simple things each day that will make yourself feel better. I wish you the best and I wish you peace in the days ahead.