When she puts on the tea,
I know it is time to leave.
She places a sponge in my hand and asks me to clean
the plates pile greasy
my hands soaks with bubble and I sigh as I rinse, she pats my shoulder and says
“before you exit
a place
respect it
be careful how you leave a person’s home because they will remember it”
The last time we spoke,
i set the world on fire.
I still remember what loving you is like
I can still taste a past, forgetting to be past
I don’t know how you did it,
but you were so very good at taking my life from me
Most days
weren’t days
most days were stories you told me
a reverse fairytale
of a woman who first kisses a boy
and then
falls asleep forever.
The day you left all the neighbors locked their doors
I went home
and collected my body
I gathered what was left of us
I carried a small city into the river
I watched it drown....
no one sang
there was no moment of silence
I was a moment of silence for so many years
i stood by the water
i did not know how to mourn you
i did not know who to mourn
all i knew was
you can spend forever looking at the devil and never see it’s him.
The day you left
I had to revisit every memory we had
I had to sway it in my arms
Had to let it weep
until it finally cried itself to sleep
I’ll never know how you did it
but you were so very good at taking me from myself
It’s a little impressive what you can do to a body and what part of your body had to stop being a body in order for you to do it
I am a story you can never tell
and you are a story I can never stop telling in hopes that people like me will not have to keep telling stories of people like you forever.
The last time I saw you
i emptied the kitchen
i split over the sink
i threw away the spoiled
the leftover moments
the parts of you that you left here
I put on the tea
i scrub
i scrub
i scrub angry
until I can no longer see what happened here tonight.
You have to be careful
how you leave
another person’s home
because it is how they will remember you.
xx
a quite time can help
Don't worry be happy!!
Peace with a pen 
It´s been a long time...
Existential thoughts why!!!!
