a quite time can help

[rish123]

so during my betrayal from my spouse, I decided to sleep on the couch, and he wouldn't mind, he went straight to bed which upset me more so I couldn't sleep so I woke up in the middle of the night and try to reflect how the day have been, I remember I cried a lot, was angry with myself for not realizing how stupid I have been all along for loving a guy who talk to me like am one of his girlfriend. I have decided to wean my way from him, I know it will take time but I pray for guidance, I pray today to be a good day for me and for all those suffering emotionally in silence

[Hidden]

Oh man I'm so sorry you are going through this. Why aren't you sleeping in the bed & him on the couch, you have done nothing wrong. I'll keep you in my heart. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs for you!

[rish123 in reply to Hidden]

thanks so much, but sleeping next to him make me feel cheap and unworthy, all through my marriage life I have love him, so am trying to learn to love myself now and feel worthy of me

[Hidden in reply to rish123]

I meant he should be sleeping on the couch, for that matter on the street, it's terrible what he has put you through. I'm here for you. Please do put yourself first, feed positive into your mind about yourself & believe it. Be kind & gentle also to you, you really do deserve a treat, do something nice for you, even if it's something simple, a bubble bath, light a candle or put on some perfume. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[rish123 in reply to Hidden]

thanks so much, I really appreciate your advice, just reading your message makes me cry and feels someone cares, I will try and do that thanks so much

[Hidden in reply to rish123]

I really do care! You can private message me if you feel the need to chat. I have to go out this morning, usually only on in the mornings. I'm sending you some joy! Love, peace, light & dump trucks of hugs for you!

[rish123 in reply to Hidden]

thanks will do that

[Hidden in reply to rish123]

Please do & listen to faux, very smart cookie! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs for you!

[fauxartist]

first off...he cheated not you....so he can sleep on the couch.....second of all..... good for you for weaning yourself from this relationship, because once the trust has been broken, it's very hard to come back from that, some can,....I can't.

Most important....YOU were not Stupid....he was for throwing away his trust with you. You did nothing wrong..... they are cowards who don't have the decency or the guts to move on and respect you enough to wait till they have ended one relationship before screwing around.....you should stand your ground and tell them to move on....

Get some help in understanding that you are not at fault here, and let the fault lay where it belongs...with him.....and start planning your life without this person, and yes...there is life after relationships....if this is a closed door for you now....look at the open one in front of you and go for it.

[rish123 in reply to fauxartist]

thanks so much, is so hard to move away from someone you spend 18yrs of your life with and have kids together, I pray everyday for guidance and peace in my life. thanks

[fauxartist in reply to rish123]

It is hard, but it's harder when you have to live in pain and sadness everyday too...it's up to you, but you deserve to be happy too...it's nice when the one cheating can have their laundry done, house cleaned, food on the table, and then go out and screw around while your home taking care of the kids..... I don't care how long I have been with someone...that's a no go for me, and yes....it's very difficult...I was with my ex- for 15 years.....and won't lie to you...it's hard... but now I am with someone who I love and have been happy with for 7 years with them.... sure any relationship is work....but I have finally found someone who gets me.....truly.....and that's worth it. Be happy, life is too short for any nonsense....do what is right for you...you matter, your feelings matter.

[rish123 in reply to fauxartist]

you are absolutely right. am so touched and a bit relieve to know you, how were you able to move on with your life, and what steps did you take to move on, am glad you have found true love.

[fauxartist in reply to rish123]

first thing I did was cry a lot, and then changed the locks...then I went through all five stages of grief....joined a group therapy for 6 weeks that worked with grief and loss and learning to let go....then I started to do some one on one therapy to learn to put my life back on track and not blame and shame me, for what some coward did, and know that it takes two to make a relationship....but if one breaks that trust, then you have to make the choice of either accepting and forgiving, or moving on.

First off...I didn't cheat....they did....so they were told to leave the house. Second after changing the locks, I also installed a security alarm to give me even more added security. And no matter how much begging or pleading they did, it fell on deft ears...I was building a new life.

None of that came easy....I was devastated for weeks and cried till there were no more tears. Slept with my kitty, walked around in my pyjamas all day and ate Ben and Jerry's. It was the hardest thing I think I ever went through. But it was worth it, I got my dignity back, and moved forward with selling the house and moving where I had always wanted to live. There were a lot of bumps in the road, but today .... I am with for the last 7 years, the love of my life. I actually did it....and will never look back. I hurt for a long time, but didn't get into another relationship till I knew damn well I was over my marriage.

That's important...re-bound relationships can often be even more harmful. So .....stay single.....do the work on building yourself up....get your hair done, buy a new outfit....do something you always wanted to do...and know that your never really alone, you can always write about it here......look into some same interest groups to do stuff with later on when you have had some time to heal....

There is life after marriage.....and no....it's not what we wanted to happen, but it is what it is.....

Take care of you....

[rish123 in reply to fauxartist]

thanks so much for taking the time to explain it, it takes time and dedication but you did and so can I, you are such an inspiration person. thank you

[trulycommited]

I am sorry that you are going through this. In times like this, it may be best to take it one day at a time. Get around the right people who will encourage and support you throughout this process. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? A caring professional would be an excellent position to offer solid guidance. Hang in there. I am praying God’s peace over you.

[rish123 in reply to trulycommited]

thanx so much, I appreciate that

[trulycommited in reply to rish123]

You're welcome! Your wave of emotions are normal in a situation like this. I will keep praying for you.

[ge99]

All my very best wishes to you, we all deserve someone to love and you deserve the best. Move on and you will find someone who will be too upset to let you sleep on the couch if you have any difficulties. This person is waiting out there for you, don't disappoint them and stay in this bad relationship for longer than have to.