Rough time but feeling better

[Penguins_Rock]

I've been having a rough time ... especially rough for the past few days & nights. Lots of anxiety (especially social anxiety) and loneliness and depression. Haven't been getting much sleep that's for sure. But feeling better now honestly. I've been reading through posts on here and you all have no idea how encouraging just reading your posts can be for this old guy. Also I read a post elsewhere that plain old helped me feel so much better. One of the things in that post that really spoke to me is a quote from someone else (don't know who but it's been around for awhile). Goes something like "90 % of life is just showing up." That really made me smile. A lot of my anxiety ... including social anxiety ... boils down to performance anxiety and that can just be horrific. But now hey ... showing up ... hmmm ... might be a low performance standard, but what the heck, just plain old showing up is a standard I think I can meet. And am meeting right now. Cool. Such a relief just to give myself a break and breathe deeply and realize that if I just keep on Showing Up ... well ... good things tend to happen. While going through rough times I tend to forget that if I just hang in there they do generally tend to pass. Of course on the flip side so do better times. Oh well. Welcome to Life huh. Fair enough ... ... one more thing ... I forget sometimes just how ROUGH this time of year can be. Christmas & New Year's are not my fave times of year. BUT ... sometimes I say to myself that if I can just make it till January 2, I'll have made it through the #@$@#$!$#@ holidays. Why January 2? Because it's safely past January 1 and that's kind of the End of the Holidays in my brain. So. If I just keep Showing Up for a couple more days I'll be solidly past the Hols. Whew. That's a good feeling even to look forward to January 2. For me. OK enough from me for now. I do hope and pray that everyone here has a Happy New Year and wish all here the very best. Glad you all are Showing Up. And glad that I'm Showing Up too. Just for today.

[KailaLili]

I agree...this has been one challenging season...is it Jan 2 yet? Ha! I've certainly been struggling more the last few weeks than before...isolation, anxiety, depression, loneliness, ugh! Thank you for writing your post...it certainly helped, and "just showing up", well...that hit me, too! I keep telling myself it's okay to have the feelings I have...and it will pass, like you say. For me, I've been really struggling on the weekends, so if I can get through to Jan 4th, that's a start. I used to look forward to the weekends...for some reason, they are harder than the rest.

[Penguins_Rock in reply to KailaLili]

Thanks. I think I'm finding weekends to be harder than other times too. Especially during the big Christmas - New Year's holiday season.

[Gentlespirit]

I'm very glad you showed up and shared too. We will get through this. Kindness and understanding can help. Positive feedback and just keeping it real helps too. Be blest

[Penguins_Rock in reply to Gentlespirit]

Thank you ... you too!

[Dolphin14]

You can do it. One more day and the holiday season is over.

I like that.... " just showing up". Eventually you may surprise yourself and begin to engage. Showing up is the battle.

[Penguins_Rock in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you and yes ... almost there. I woke up this morning and felt horrible once again ... anxiety, loneliness, depression. Then remembered "Oh yeah ... now wonder. It's not quite Jan. 2 yet." So all I gotta do is Show Up for today and if by God's Grace I'm still here tomorrow ... well, the hols will be over. Def gives me a little hope. Just for Today.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Penguins_Rock]

You got this!Love your avatar

[Penguins_Rock in reply to Dolphin14]

Thanks, Dolphin! And yes I've been a penguin fan since I was a kid. Seriously one of my anti-depression and anti-anxiety "tools" is going to YouTube and looking for penguin videos. Hard for me to keep worrying just too long about almost anything when I'm watching penguins. And anything (as in ANYTHING) from the Penguins of Madagascar always puts a smile on my face.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Penguins_Rock]

That's great:)I love anything dolphin so I can relate. I love to watch a dolphin jump and swim freely in the ocean. I think it's beautiful.

I love watching penguins walk

[Penguins_Rock]

Thank you. I think that's one of the many good things about this forum. I come here and then know the "you're all alone" messages between my ears are sheer bs. I'm very glad everyone's here.

[OK_So_Here_I_Am_Now]

Well, late to the party but I just got here, first evening reading these strings, what a cool forum, even if I did find it by kinda crawling in wounded but, an hour of scrolling and reflecting helped. The "not alone" aspect is refreshing and like you and Kai, am not a fan of the weekends.

Good news, it's January 2nd, you made it through the majority of the damn holidays, just one Sunday to go and that can be done on inertia alone. It is nice to see 2020 in the rear view mirror.

I hear what you are saying Pengy and I wish you a Happy New Year.

[Penguins_Rock in reply to OK_So_Here_I_Am_Now]

Thanks and I couldn't agree more ... good to have 2020 in the rear-view mirror!

Pengy