Am I a bad friend for putting myself first?

[RomanaRosalie]

A few months back my anxiety got really bad and made me ill and so I distanced myself from some people, including a couple of friends, and when I reached out to one of them this morning she said she was pissed at me for leaving her. I told her that I distanced myself due to my mental health being bad and she said that wasn't an excuse and that I was clearly a bad and fake friend. Am I a fake friend for putting my mental health first?

[Hidden]

She’s just a bit angry that you didn’t reach out, she felt abandoned by you probably.

Try to reach out and stay connected with your friends and let them know you aren’t feeling well or in the best mindset. Friends that love you will understand you are going through a hard time.

[RomanaRosalie in reply to Hidden]

I have tried to talk to her and she said that mental health isn't an excuse and I should think of others first

[Hidden in reply to RomanaRosalie]

Well, if she's this ugly about it, I'd find a new friend. She sounds quite selfish and not even willing to learn about mental health so she can be an understanding friend. No one should have unsupportive friends.

[Lizziedee]

Hi, I totally know how this feels I went through the very same thing not so long ago. I explained to my friend how bad I was etc she actually said she lashes out because she felt guilty for not keeping in touch with me when she knew I wasn’t good. It’s difficult as we seem to withdraw and can’t bear to speak about how bad we are feeling. I certainly don’t think you are a bad or fake friend! When our mental health is bad it’s a daily battle even to do the simplest things. You have to do what is best for you. I hope you and your friend can get through this it may even make yous stronger. X

[RomanaRosalie in reply to Lizziedee]

She knew about it as she was a good friend and I will just hope she does because I don't want to feel like a bad person when my mental health was bad

[RomanaRosalie]

I didn't just drop out. She knew my mental health was bad because I was talking to her about my anxiety and she knew it was getting bad and even when I was in hospital due to it she seemed to think that I had to talk to her every single week. I told her my anxiety was getting bad and she didn't care

[Hidden]

No of course not. I do feel like you could of sent one text maybe saying you were going through something because as a friend I think I’d also be hurt, because a huge part of relationships is reciprocation and when people don’t get that, they sometimes feel cheated. However, I don’t think you are a bad friend at all and if you have anxiety then it doesn’t need to be explained if you don’t feel the need to explain it. However, some explanation should be given even if it’s just “I was going through something” and as a friend, I’d hope they would understand. I’m sorry it has not been easy for you.

[RomanaRosalie in reply to Hidden]

I did send her a text. I texted all of my friends to tell them that if I was distant then it was because I was feeling crappy and needed to sort out my mental health and when I was in hospital I obviously couldn't text or contact people and that period of time is when she had the problem as apparently being in hospital wasn't an excuse