Exhausted and Sad

[LivingOxymoron]

I have another job, that is fulltime. The pay is not as high as I would like but the hours are consistent. I feel exhausted and frustrated most of the time at work. Several of my coworkers talk about sports or other activities, while I'm the only one working. My supervisor always delegate a new task for me to complete immediately when I finish one, while other coworkers continue to not work. I thought if I slowed down it would change but it didn't. I still have a constant voice in my head that whispers, I should end my life. It is difficult to find another job during covid pandemic, how should I deal with this environment?

[Trying1268]

I hear you. I was stuck in a job that was slowly killing me. No matter what I did my career took over my life. I have climbed pretty far up the corporate ladder and now.... I'm done. I realized that I no longer wanted a career, I wanted a job, and I wanted to leave at the end of the day just like everyone else.

As someone that has managed people for most of my life I want to give you some advise;

Do the same amount of work as those around you and nothing more. Unless they are offering you a promotion (in writing of course) then just do your job.

Your boss knows it's you that gets the work done, that is why they give you more when you finish, I know because this is how I treated my employees.

Slow down, match the work ethic of those around you. If your boss notices and tries to say anything to you. Let him/her know that you would be happy to increase your work output above and beyond what they hired you and your fellow co-workers for.

You are excited at the opportunity of a promotion that would increase your ability to contribute towards the companies success. However, and increased workload would be a change in your current job description, Therefore it would only be fair that management should have a meeting to discuss the details and the monetary benefits that you would be compensated with.

If you need any help let me know.

Be well

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to Trying1268]

As a manager myself for 22 years I can tell that you were a good and insightful one. I agree that LivingOxymoron (LO) deserves a promotion and the extra compensation that goes with it. That certainly might help, but if it’s peace of mind one is after, money won’t get you too far in many cases, especially in a toxic work environment. Easy for me to say, but LO needs to get out of there if at all possible and find a job, even at the same salary, where the corporate culture does not suck the joy and life out of them.

[LivingOxymoron in reply to Catsamaze]

You nailed it Catsamaze, they "suck the joy and life" out of you. I even had my supervisor tell me that I can't do a certain task because I sounded like I had too much joy. Working through lunch or not getting a break at all is unhealthy. Sometimes I feel like I'm being overworked to force, me to quit because I don't fit there sports loving crowd.

[LivingOxymoron in reply to Trying1268]

Thank you for advice, I have tried slowing down but they just save next assignment for me. I haven't thought of asking for additional compensation though.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to LivingOxymoron]

Like Trying1268 said you are being penalized for being so good at your job. It’s sort of a compliment but one I’m sure you can do without. With your work ethic there’s a lot of businesses that would love to have you on their staff. But you need the energy to go out and find them! Keep in touch....

[Trying1268 in reply to LivingOxymoron]

I was just like you. My work ethic when compared to others was through the roof. I could do the job of 10 people and not blink and eye. I never realized that my bosses actually needed me until I became the boss myself. In short you make them look good to their own boss. After some trial and error, I learned to manipulate that to my advantage.

Now that I have said that, I am not sure of your own financial situation. I would never want to encourage you to do something that would jeopardize your own financial security.

I also don't know if you actually like your job? If you want to grow your career at that current company?

In the mean time, do less. I mean it. Why should you do more than your colleagues, while getting paid the same? Think about it. Your time, is your money.

[LivingOxymoron]

I have used Zoloft, antidepressants in pass but stopped taking it 6 years ago, the side effects always make my stomach hurt, I will consider other antidepressants.

[LivingOxymoron]

I worry because I'm feeling overwhelmed, overworked, exhausted, and tired while others sit around and talk. I wouldn't feel this way if others did there part of the job. I feel so angry and frustrated. My health shouldn't be ruined, to get paid.

[LivingOxymoron]

So you're saying it is okay for others sit and talk, surf internet, text message, etc. who do the same job you do and supervisor constantly delegate most task to you, and you're being paid same amount or less as other coworkers. That doesn't make sense to me, it's not a one man job.