Hurt

[Yass_123]

Hi my husband passed away five days ago due to covid he only had sympton for four days five in hosp on a ventilator he was abroad I couldn't get to him or see him on the phone whilst in hosp he had never been tto a hosp since I married him 36 yr ago so when he ph me before he went hosp he was breathless nd blue fingernails I persuaded him to go hosp he never came bk since then keep go thru my mind what if I did more to help him or tell him not go hosp I guess ill never know but I'm hurting so much

[Hidden]

I’m sooooo very sorry for your loss. I’m sitting here trying to put myself and the entire process you went through in your shoes. My own thoughts cannot process (I’ve been married 23 years) this so I know you are devastated, ruminating the what if’s, this is pure torture. The hurt, anguish, guilt, anger would be immeasurable on a scale, my heart goes out to you.

Is there anyone you trust, a support in your inner circle you can talk with? Getting these feelings out, a good cry, transferring to the surface..is there anything you have available to help you through this?

The other thing, maybe seek grief counseling. You are hurting so much and you need to be able to process this better so you can heal.

Post as many times you need to, if you need someone one on one to talk with, message me. I’ll listen, I’ll be a soundboard, I’ll do what I can to help you. Please take care of yourself. 🌺💜

[Yass_123 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your kind words i have my mom but she gets sad watching me stress u seeci have been living abroad and this was first time I came bk for 12 years tomuk and have never been parted from my hus for soo long 1 half yrs due to covid lockdowns of travelling I honestly feel I am choking inside or like is this true waiting for someone to say its a dream my mind I keep tell myself I'm not the only one whose loved one has died but the thoughts won't go what if😭

[Natsteveo]

Wow I’m so truly sorry for your loss and with the COVID it’s such a testing time and devastating as no one can be with their loved ones in hospital to be by their side either on here we have a site called bereavement and care where you will recieve the upmost support as you will on this forum... either way you will benefit from support from us always here if you need a chat xx

[Yass_123 in reply to Natsteveo]

Thank you

[Pugglesworth]

My condolences on your loss. Words cannot express the sadness this loss entails.

[Yass_123 in reply to Pugglesworth]

Thank you

[Hidden]

Sorry for your loss, you had been together for so many years. We are the same have been together now for over forty years and we have both discussed our feelings if one of us died, however the COVID Virus seems to be another matter where we say good bye at the door and never see the one we loved for so long again. We are expected to move on with our life and one we will never see again, it is so very cruel

Have you any family members you can talk to, Brothers, Sisters or your Husbands family, so you can talk out your feelings It is just to fill the empty place left by the loss. It is not the time for you to be alone you need that support and a family understanding of past good times, who understands the quirkes of your relationship together

BOB

[Yass_123 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply I have family members but because no one can comfort me with the hurt I'm feeling they try explain but I keep burst out crying the thought he died alone and ill never see him again if I travel u see I came to visit my mom who I have never seen over 13 years but due to covid I couldn't get bk due to,lockdowns my heart aches and I have hfailure I don't know wh will ease my sorrow😥

[Hidden in reply to Yass_123]

Yass you need to be kind to yourself, Also allow family around you to help you move on. Consider it may be others in the family feel the same as you possibly to a less extent and would possibly welcome a conversation with you. Everything is so very raw in your eyes, you have been sad to say pushed back by society in general because you have been unable to say your last goodbyes and that will hurt not only you , also others who were around you and your Husband, this will take longer for you too move on.

If you are stuck on your own would it be possible to contact family on the Internet. ZOOM is useful where you not only see the person you are talking to you can have multiple conversations to several at a time.

Today We heard My Sister in Law is on Her last legs and is now not expected to get through the remaining week, we will be unable to go down to the Midlands. to attend the funeral, so I fully understand how you feel

This Morning we were in level three, now after tea we are now in Level four so that basically is locking everyone down. We need to push ourselves we visited the shops this afternoon so we must have known something.

It seems the Government has the intent to close us off from people in the family unit.

If you are really in need to talk I am generally around, if I can help

BOB

[Yass_123 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply so near yet so far for the funeral the covid has bought not only death but fear anxiety unsure of wh to do we have fear now th if anyone our loved ones get ill we may never see them again and if we go out have fear of catching the covid I feel as if I'm waiting for someone to awake me from a terrible dream

[Hidden in reply to Yass_123]

It is going to take an extended period to pull yourself around. I know in my case I need an injection to control extensive damage to joints in my body, we are supposed to book an appointment two weeks before the need arises, if this is not the case I can become crippled with pain from damaged caused, My Wife was up and out of bed trying to get the appointment met and thank goodness an appointment was made for next week, it was an appointment made just in time. Everything to the Health Service, is classified, just in time.

The problem is I have to go outside our home to get the injection and prescription, everything is just in time, CRAZY.

The whole situation is not acceptable although here in the UK funerals are arranged and we cannot go to say our goodbyes on day of internment, You are fearful to go outside as well and that must be very upsetting for family members. Whatever you decide, I would strongly suggest as said above to talk with family, under the situation you find yourself in contact your GP and explain how tentative and worried you feel, CBT may help you talk out how you feel regards fearful thoughts and the loss you are now feeling.

You need to be able to say goodbye, are they allowing reduced numbers at the funeral it is important to move on. It is no good worrying if you will catch COVID, LIVE FOR THE DAY.

BOB

[Yass_123]

Thank you

[formidible]

So very sorry to hear this. I'm sure you did everything you could, nothing more, nothing less. Viruses like covid do not discriminate. You will get through this in time in quite sure of that. Take each day as it comes and talk to someone when you feel you need company and someone to talk to about all those edifice feelings. I've said this before, but the Samaritans are always there if you need to talk to someone who is impartial and won't judge, target than someone you know. There are always options to get through this. My best wishes and love go out to you for your loss.

[Yass_123 in reply to formidible]

Thank you

[Amandasullivan12]

I’m so sad reading this I pray that u find strength and comfort 🙏🏼 We are here if u need to talk x

[Yass_123 in reply to Amandasullivan12]

Thank you

[Micafe]

I am so sorry. It's so sad. I can't find words of comfort.

🥺

[Dolphin14]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how painful this is.

[Hidden]

I really hate this pandemic, I'm lucky my parents are doing okay, they are in their late 70s. Please reach out to the friends and family that know you, and there are a lot of caring people on here too. I have faith you will get through this, I understand it must be devastating. Please take care of yourself.❤️