Hurting

[IloveMary]

The love of my life came home tonight and I don't know why he was so upset and mad at me the he was yelling and calling me bad names he told me that I should go kill myself and he was hitting me he push me I am in so much pain and I have a 5 month old baby that I can't even take care of because I am in so much pain all I have done was cry and try to take care of my baby..

[Hidden]

Has this happened before? Is he on drugs or an alcoholic? He physically and verbally attacked you. Do you have a place to go to for safety, a relative or friends house?

[IloveMary in reply to Hidden]

yes I am at a friends house for the night and no he has never done this before..

[Indigojoe in reply to IloveMary]

you have the baby, too, right? Stay at your friends house, and RELAX, non of this is about YOU, NONE of it. SO protect yourself and your baby. KNOW that as a mother, the mamma bear in you will NEVER let anything happen to your child. SO calm totally down, shut off your phone, do not allow any contact tonight, and KNOW, you are going to be just fine.

[IloveMary in reply to Indigojoe]

yes I am going to stay at my friends house until I can get a home for me and my baby

[Indigojoe in reply to IloveMary]

With all due respect, now is the perfect time for you to get your own therapist if you don't already have one.

AND Mary, I promise you, that he is who he is BECAUSE of HIS stuff, not yours. SO none of this is personal, It sucks, but it has nothing to do with you......

[IloveMary in reply to Indigojoe]

Thank you for the kind words

[Hidden]

I'm so very sorry you are experiencing this. My heart hurts for you. Is it possible to go stay with a family member or a friend for a while? It's not ok to be hit or pushed nor should you be abused emotionally. I will be praying for your situation and that He protect you and keep you safe. Hugs

[IloveMary in reply to Hidden]

yes I am with a friend for the night and thank you..

[tamka38]

U need to get your baby and leave, your house is not safe for u or your baby. U should have to go through abuse by nobody I been in a abusive relationship

for year’s and if u already feeling bad no don’t need nobody else belittling u is not right

[IloveMary in reply to tamka38]

I am at a friends house for the night thank you

[tamka38 in reply to IloveMary]

U welcome 🙏🏾 please be safe

[Hidden]

Please do not kill yourself. Your baby needs you. Do not tolerate abuse from your partner. Find a safe place for you and baby to stay and call the police.

[IloveMary in reply to Hidden]

I am doing better I am going to stay with my friends until I can find a house for me and my baby

[fauxartist]

that is not love....and if this is only the first time they have done that....they will do it again, and if you cannot do it for yourself....do it for your baby....let him know you will get a restraining order for yours and your childs safety, and if he is so unhappy with your relationship....'F' off and go..... this is so maddening to hear this is still going on. I am in my 60's now and remember seeing my mother as a kid, being beaten bloody by a stepfather, repeatedly, till we ended up running out of the house with the cloths on our backs to save our lives. These abusers don't get better, they get worse....it starts out with words and ends with fists or worse, death.....get out of this relationship.... it's toxic.... and trying to hold onto what was once maybe the love of your life is a fantasy and it's over at this point, there is never any going back.... it is no longer that fairytale.... this is a reality check to see it for what it is.... abuse, and dangerous.

[IloveMary in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you and yes my friend went back to the house to get some things he was at work and I stayed at my friends house and we went to the cops and we are working on getting me and my baby a home with out him

[fauxartist in reply to IloveMary]

I am very sorry you have to leave your home just to feel safe, but the alternative is not an option. You will find once this has had some time, and you have found your safe place to be, you will get a chance then to sort this all out. Right now just take care of you and all else will follow. Take care honey....my heart brakes for you but remember the courage it took for you to get out of this situation...and no matter what he says, don't believe it.... abusers don't change....they get worse..... you can love the man he used to be, but he is not that man now....because no one shows love with abuse.

[Indigojoe in reply to fauxartist]

Mary, fauxartist has told the truth. Skip all the years of pain and drama and believe what fauxartist says, and hold your head high and stay away.

[IloveMary in reply to Indigojoe]

I am trying to hold my head up but it is not easy and I left him..

[Indigojoe in reply to fauxartist]

AMEN, you nailed it, and I am glad you wrote it out for "us" / Mary as you did!

[IloveMary in reply to Indigojoe]

I try and thank you

[IloveMary]

Thank you for the kind words take care

[fauxartist in reply to IloveMary]

you have a support system here to share with, and when you get settled....try and find a support group of other women who have gone through what your dealing with....it's good to feel included and a part of something that is positive and will build us back up. Like IndigoJoe said, hold your head up high....and move forward....

[Strongest123]

Hello. I’m sorry to hear what he’s put you through. But I think it’s time to call the authorities. You should never let anyone hit you, even the love of your life. And he shouldn’t even be the love of your life for hitting you. You need to leave a person like this. Samson

[IloveMary]

I did leave him but I was told you will never find a good guy like me that would take care of you and the baby like you should be taking care of..

[Skeeble]

Hello lovely how are you doing now? I am so sorry you had to go through that. there is no excuse for it and it is completely wrong. Have you contacted the women's refuge or women's aid for help with a place to stay?

I was in a similar situation being told the same things but you listen to me it's not your fault and you don't deserve to die

Don't even think thoughts of dying or suicide. You are a mum and have a baby to love and care for. Focus on you and your baby and stay safe. Xxx

[IloveMary]

I just found out that he is going to try to take my baby away from me he told a lot of people that I don't take care of my baby and that is not true ..

[Indigojoe in reply to IloveMary]

NOW you are getting into drama that narcissists thrive on.

Don't buy into it.

DON't talk to anybody until you get an advocate AND a therapist.

[IloveMary in reply to Indigojoe]

I am sorry that I upset you..I was told by cps

[Indigojoe in reply to IloveMary]

Mary, I didn't get upset. I was responding to your post that says

" I just found out that he is going to try to take my baby away from me he told a lot of people that I don't take care of my baby and that is not true".

His threat is Drama and manipulation. And "don't buy into his drama", was my way of saying IGNORE him.

Hope that helped.

You are a strong and kind person. Don't forget it.

[IloveMary in reply to Indigojoe]

I am sorry that I didn't understand thank you I hope the best for you

[sherril2291]

As a social worker, I implore you to get an attorney and a support group. If possible, get a job so you can prove that you can support you and your baby, and write down everything he says and does. Go to your local social services and see what kind of programs are in place to help you and your child be stable and get ahead.

Please don't try to handle this all alone. You are strong and brave and wise for leaving him - please don't allow any man who hits a woman to influence you. Sometimes we fall in love with aspects of people, but not the total person. Unfortunately this man is not worthy of being the love of your life. Allow the baby to be the love of your life right now, and after you've healed and grown stronger, hopefully a real man will come along - one who understands how to truly love and respect you and your child, if that's what you want.

[IloveMary in reply to sherril2291]

Yes all I every want was to be love.But now I want to be love and my baby to be love to because all baby's should be love..