Fearing the future

[Jpreme]

I have recently finished university, and during that time I worked along side my studies, I have been an anxious person for as long as I can remember, however at university it really started to hit hard, and also brought out some of the worst depression ive experienced in my life, which eventually led to drug addiction. I managed to get out of that and seek help. But now im left feeling somewhat hopeless, I dont know what I want to do with my life. The thought of having a ‘9/5’ type of job just sounds so morbid. Id actually rather be dead than live the rest of my life as a robot. Needless to say I have been applying for work endlessly, however covid has just made even landing a single interview seem impossible, and even the thought of getting one fills me with fear and anxiety at the same time. Its like im being tortured by my own life. I dont want to not work, thats not what im saying. I also dont want to come across like im just being difficult or picky either. Its actually quite simple; I just want to actually enjoy life, but I just feel thats not how its meant to be.

[Hidden]

If it was not for Covid I would suggest you take time out and travel abroad, that would give you time to consider how you want to proceed in life.Some people become a rep in another country or something similar. It seems to work for many.

What subjects did you take, Did you leave College with your Tickets

BOB

[Jpreme in reply to Hidden]

That would actually be amazing, I know that a change in envrionment can massivly help someones psyche. The only thing is that even if covid wasnt around, I dont think id be able to afford it in my current state either.

At uni I studied graphic design and photography, taking photos for me is something I used to do to help get out of a bad headspace, but soon became apparent that it wasnt a career path worth pursuing as it seems you either end up being famous, or a wedding photographer.

[Blueruth in reply to Jpreme]

I majored in photography but I got interested in databases weirdly. Now I work independently part time for a full time wage. There is more in photography than wedding. I have a friend from school who does product design. He sets up these amazing shoots for auto racks and sporting goods. I think food would be fun. They involve more than snapping the photos. You can actually start with stock photos and build a portfolio. With your design skills you could make it work.

Jobs are underrated. As long as it isn’t an underpaid McJob you can enjoy it if you are open minded. Statistically the happiest employees work in jobs most people think are yucky. This summer I went out of my comfort zone and was a temporary census worker part time. I loved it. Especially when I had to find addresses that were weird or when I actually convo hard cases to answer my questions. Nothing like my computer job!

[Hidden in reply to Jpreme]

Many of my Friends and and those I had know in the past when they left University travelled for six months or about a year, they worked as they went and it proved the making of them and their future ideas.

I started late in the mid seventies, although by this time I was paying my own way. I travelled mostly around the Soviet Union finishing on the Silk Road through China overland. I also travelled extensive over the Near and Middle East, North Africa and Cuba. To name a few, I learned a great deal in the Balkans as well. Sadly I suffered a Meningitis in Tangiers and that became the end of my career. Although I never thought I had done the wrong thing and it really did open my mind and expectations to life in general. We are really very small fish in one massive pool. and this opens the mind and helps you understand so much about the world and peoples in them

One of my Hobbies, like you were photography, I have mostly stopped now because of my disabilities. Consider what you could do to make money as you travel, What tickets did you take at UNI would that help you take a year or so out

BOB

[Reading_Rando]

I can relate. Before the pandemic I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life and my degree (I'm just a few credits from graduating) but now I don't and I'm also feeling pretty lost. I think the prospect of doing the same thing the rest of your life can be scary. I wish I had answers for you but I'm working through almost the same thing. I just wantyou to know your not alone, and to tell you what I tell myself: there is no single right path through life, you have to find what is right for you, not what is right for others. Your not alone!

[Jpreme in reply to Reading_Rando]

Ive had a lot of time to think about why people like us feel this way. I think as a society we are forced from such a young age (im talking even highschool) that we are supposed to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives. And here I am one day thinking fuck it ill suck it up and work in retail for the rest of my life, the next day that idea sends me into a spiral.

We are bombarded with so much information on a daily basis, no wonder this generation is so broken.

[Reading_Rando in reply to Jpreme]

Your so right, I'm a little bit older than you and I still dont really know what I want to do . I do that same thing too of going down in a spiral when I think about the future. Lately I've been thinking of writing a book or trying to start a podcast as some alternative to the eventuality of returning to retail work but that always sounds crazy when I tell myself that. I don't know if you have ideas like that but I hope we can both figure things out.

[Jpreme in reply to Reading_Rando]

I fully understand, I do similar things with my hobbies. I tend to take my hobbies and interestes and try to find some way of turning it into a means of income. But my luck hasnt really given me any chance so far. Some examples are I started doing design jobs for people I know and making some money from it, another thing that stemmed from this was building custom gaming PC's as working with computers and design software leads you to become quite tech savvy. But then I hit the wall because there arent any jobs around where I live doing any of that sort of stuff.

I think pursuing a passion into a career is a great way to find something you enjoy. I just hope you have more luck than me so far!

[Indiegal in reply to Jpreme]

Have you ever looked at websites that offer freelance work online such as Upwork, Freelancer, Fiverr, 99 Designs, etc.? Also, there are a lot of remote jobs for companies all over the world on LinkedIn. And you could easily do graphic design work remotely or sell your photography on stock photo websites. It sounds like you might be in the UK (I'm in the US), but there should be several job sites that are available there the same as here.

I'm several years older than you but I felt a lot like you after college and went through a similar situation not being able to find a job for awhile (I graduated when 9/11 happened here and our economy crashed). After working for an entry-level job for a couple years in boring Ohio, I ended up moving to Los Angeles to pursue a singing career with absolutely no money. It put me backward a bit in my career now that I'm back in marketing and in Ohio years later but it was the best decision I ever made. I'm itching to leave Ohio again and do something more meaningful in my 40s now, but with Covid I know it's not gonna happen for awhile. I guess what I'm saying is do what you have to do now to get by, even if it sucks but make a plan for the future when things hopefully get back to normal and you can take a chance on doing something you love. But be patient. It does take time. I know very few people who found the job they love right out of college, even in normal times. Good luck and feel free to message me if you want any more suggestions.

[Hidden in reply to Jpreme]

We all seem to wreck ourselves when young, some feel seriously the world owes them a living and this is not the case, we have to be able to take time on decisions we need to take, time out does help although sometimes it may be a good idea to take employment in a lesser job until you feel ready to move onto the job you are supposed or planned to have when you qualifiedSometimes a deep breath in life can allow you to move on in a positive way.

I live in the UK, there is so much here to see and extend your interests. The last twenty five years has been travelling around the UK, keen on History and Geography I have learned a great deal.

BOB