what is wrong with me

[celestw]

i constantly think i’m dying all the time, i’m always afraid that something horrible is gonna happen to me or that i’m gonna suffer from a horrible health event, the constant though eats me away and i feel like every day i’m walking on thin ice just WAITING for something bad to happen because i’m convinced that it will. It also doesn’t help that i struggle with high blood pressure, i’m on medication and it works alright ig, but every time i do any research on my condition it’s like “silent killer” and “heart attack or stroke” and i grow more and more paranoid every single day just thinking about it. I’m obsessed with taking my blood pressure, i will take it 7 or 8 times back to back hoping to get a lower number each time yet i get extremely anxious before taking because i’m scared i’ll get a high number, and then i’ll start to cry out of frustration, it’s a vicious cycle..not only that but every time i feel anything i’m scared i’m gonna die, i have a headache? i have a tumor. I have a cough? i have covid. My arm hurts? i’m having a stroke. I feel a little dizzy? i’m having a heart attack...that’s my thought process...and i can’t get out of it...it’s like this every day and it makes me just want to give up. It makes me scared to go out because i’m thinking “what if i have a stroke while i’m out” i’m scared to see my friends because i’m thinking “what if i have a heart attack while talking to them” i’m so tired of living like this constantly idk what’s wrong with me, i’m so young (18) yet I’m constantly thinking i’m gonna die..and with this whole covid pandemic now i’m constantly scared i have and or will get covid,,i’m scared to get covid bc i’m afraid that i will die because they say if you have high blood pressure you may die from covid,,,i’m so young i don’t want to die yet,,i’m so scared every day, i haven’t seen my friends or family in 10 months, all i do is stay isolated in my room because i’m too scared to go out and possibly get covid, why can’t i just be normal...

[Sochill53_]

Sorry your going through this I can't really give you advice on this because I feel the exact same way I feel like something is going to happen to me everyday health wise which gives me anxiety and then I start to get depressed but maybe you should find daily routines or watch videos on YouTube to distract your mind for a sec I hope I helped a little

[Agora1]

Hi celestw, high blood pressure is called the "silent killer" because most people do not

know they have an issue. In your case, you are very aware of a family history of hypertension and it is being addressed. That's a big difference.

Getting paranoid over your b/p just makes it worse psychologically. There is no need

to take your pressure multiple times a day or multiple times in a row. Each time the numbers change (and they will) it feeds into your anxiety making you more anxious.

As for all the other physical symptoms that come along, I'm wondering why you feel each one is a death sentence. Besides the family having high b/p issues, did something else happen in your young life that made you so aware of getting ill and dying?

This severe Health Anxiety is robbing you of your teen years. You aren't living, you are existing in a cycle of fear just waiting for the moment that something happens. That's not

the way to live celestw. Are you under the care of a therapist? There is help for people

who have health anxiety. Let us know what happened that made you fear living. I want to support you because I care xx

[QuiltLady]

I've had times in my life where I felt as you do. I am 60 years old and I hate to admit that so many of my days have been ruined by worry about my health. I recently started taking Triple Calm Magnesium by Natural Rhythm Nutrition on Amazon. I take one capsule in the morning and one at night and I don't feel as anxious. I sometimes have to tell myself that I will probably make it through the day so I might as well enjoy it. It always amazes me how people go through health issues and survive! The human body is pretty resilient and self healing. I knows quite a few people who have gotten Covid and survived, including my daughter and my 71 year old sister who has diabetes and asthma! I hope you can relax and try to enjoy your life! Set some rules for yourself. Don't Google search symptoms, just check your BP once or twice a day, start allowing yourself to think positive thoughts. Write them down if you have to. As soon as a negative thought comes, say to yourself, "No, I'm not listening to this crap. Instead I _______" Put in the blank things like "am going to have a good day," "am tired of feeling this way so no more," I know God loves me and I trust Him to take care of me," (whatever works for you here.) Just remember that this too will pass and things will get better. I hope some of this will help you.

[hopingto]

do your best to be healthy, follow CDC guidelines by wearing mast and washing hands, then go out and live life. Talking to a therapist will help. So many people fear living but that is all you can control is how you live.

[EllaAlexandra]

Dear Celestw, you are so young, you shouldnt have to go through this. You are perfectly healthy, you wont die any time soon. You do suffer from this hypochondria though, so if you worry about your health, lets take precautions against this 'direct' treath. 1. Read uplifting things 2. Do sports 3. Say affirmations 'I m in excellent health' 4. Go outside 5. Meet up with friends and family!! Would be happy if I can help.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

Agora’s response made me think about what could be at the root of my health anxiety and hypochondria. I lost my Mom and father in a very traumatic way when I was 4 1/2. That’s too young to learn about how tenuous life is, and I’ve worried about dying ever since. Of course I have, given my history. But don’t be afraid to live! There’s too much good stuff that comes along with living to miss because you are scared of dying. Don’t miss anymore, Celeste!