What’s wrong with me 😔

[Ckd123]

Guys I need serious help. I was having a great day today, out all day with my daughters then when I got home, out of nowhere my heart started pounding. I checked my pulse with an app on my phone and it was up to 146 beats per minute and every few beats was an ectopic/missed heart beat. It was totally out of nowhere so I immediately think I’m going to have a heart attack and die. I was terrified, I had my 2 girls with me, I just got them in the car and drove to the doctor, all the time feeling like I couldn’t breath. Got to doctors, he checked pulse, bp, oxygen and did an ekg, all perfectly normal he says!!! I bawled crying with relief and frustration, I said why did my heart just decide to do that, it can’t be normal. He said he suspects some sort of thyroid abnormality and urged me to get an ultrasound on it. I’m at home now, still on edge and very, very upset because of the fright I got. This happened 3 months ago aswell and I wasn’t right for days afterwards. I am so so so sick of anxiety and panic, I really don’t know what to do with myself anymore and I fear I’m scaring my children. I don’t want them to see me like this then end up like me. Sorry for the essay, I just needed to get it out somewhere x

[CazO46]

Oh Ckd123, I know how awful that feels 😟 I've had the same feeling that I was about to have a heart attack or a stroke and just couldn't get my heart rate back down. I have 2 children and feared I would die and leave them without a mother. A year ago I decided to try meditation along with seeing a therapist and short term use of anti depressants . I now meditate a little every day but importantly o find it easier to breath and calm down when I become anxious. I found free meditation groups as I found it easier to start with other people. It might be worth a try and I truly hope you can get some relief 💜

[Southpark in reply to CazO46]

What meditations do you use. I have found some. Which ones work for you?

[Ckd123 in reply to Southpark]

Hi Southpark, at the moment I just take Xanax when needed, I’m not on any regular medication but plan on getting on something this week x

[Ckd123 in reply to CazO46]

Thanks Caz, my biggest fear is leaving my 4 children without a mother, it probably stems from me losing my own mother when I was 11.

I’v recently started CBT, I have my 3rd session this week and hoping it works for me. I’m also going to go back on some form of medication this week too. I try meditate when I get a minute, I don’t know if I’m doing it right but it does relax me enough to make me fall asleep! Acceptance is definitely key, I’m reading Claire Weakes at the moment and trying my best to just accept, it’s hard though xx

[Minnie87]

Oh I know exactly how you feel.

My heart is always racing and skipping and it’s terrifying.and then you end up paying so much attention to it which then makes it ten times worse.

Anxiety is the cruelest thing.its such a vicious cycle of symptoms and worry.

Just know that you aren’t alone x

[Ckd123 in reply to Minnie87]

Thanks Minnie, it certainly is a viscous cycle. I’m trying acceptance, it’s not working yet but I’m going to keep trying xx

[Needtovent]

I know what you mean about needing to get it out. That’s why i like this group! I’m fairly new here, but you said its happened before. You didnt mention any particular anxiety triggers. Please get the ultrasound that he recommends, as well.

[Ckd123 in reply to Needtovent]

Thanks needtovent, I will certainly get my thyroid checked, I’m secretly hoping there is something wrong so I can have a reason for all this and it can be fixed by taking a pill once a day!

My anxiety triggers are all health and death related x

[Jeff1943]

Anxiety has a mind of its own, if you've been highly stressed for some time it can throw a wobbly without warning. But your doctor's thorough examination and the EKG should bring you reassurance that your heart is fine and this is just a normal episode of anxiety symptoms.

Your doctor is right to suggest a thyroid examination as in a small number of cases thyroid imbalance can cause anxiety symptoms. But the chances of it being anything other than common or garden anxiety are small.

I have missed heart beats from time to time. But I've been around anxiety long enough to know they are fraudulent: based on past experience they are not significant of anything serious. So I pay them no interest, I accord them no fear and before long they pass or should I say they die of neglect.

If on the other hand I had stressed and obsessed about them and flooded my nervous system with fear hormones then no doubt the ectopic beats would have continued and driven me to panic as happened to you.

This does not mean that I am any better than you, just that I am perhaps experienced in the ways and wiles of anxiety a little more.

I would say that your nervous system is over sensitised and ready to blast off symptoms and alarms without much if any provocation. By reacting with fear and terror to the ectopic beats you maintain your nerves in thst sensitised state by flooding them with hormones of fear and stress.

Of course you don't want to upset your children and you do that by not upsetting yourself. You can learn to stem the tide of fear that prolongs and perpetuates your symptoms. Really the symptoms don't matter since they are fake symptoms and can do you no harm, it's your over sensitised nerves that you need to address, the cause of all your anxiety symptoms.

When panic descends upon you don't respond to it with fear, accept it for the time being instead. Be prepared to co-exist with it for the moment, pass through it rather than fighting it. Fighting only causes more tension and stress while sensitised nerves cry out for less.

Accept the symptoms utterly knowing them to be fake, small short circuits in your nervous system that can do you no harm despite their unpleasantness. Refuse to be bullied and cowed and fearful of these episodes. Accept them instead.

Anxiety is as old as time itself. There is a book written over 50 years ago by a woman psychiatrist called Claire Weekes who has brought respite and recovery to untold thousands of people experiencing anxiety: it is called 'Hope and help for your nerves' in the U.S. and 'Self help for your nerves' in the U.K. and it continues to be sold in large numbers on Amazon.

In the book, which can be read in just a couple of hours, the late Claire Weekes describes her Acceptance method in terms all can identify with and relate to.

I commend this short book to you as it is life changing.

[Southpark in reply to Jeff1943]

Would this book help me who is having a problem with sleep? Which I’m turn causes other problems. Please let me know

[Jeff1943 in reply to Southpark]

Southpark, if your problem with sleep is caused by anxiety then Claire Weekes' book most certainly will help you. Anxiety takes many forms but it is always still anxiety.

[Ckd123 in reply to Jeff1943]

Hi Jeff, I’v recently started the Claire Weskes book and trying to practice acceptance everyday. I’v also started CBT, I have my third session this week so still early days, hopefully it will do something to help me.

I’m going to my gp this week to get on anxiety meds as I feel I really need them at the moment and I’ll also insist on a full and thorough thyroid check.

I can honestly say I’v been living in a high state of stress/anxiety for a few years now but it’s gotten so bad over the last three months since my uncle passed away. My mind/body rarely gets a break these days. Maybe that’s why I feel this panic attack came out of nowhere but was probably just a reaction to my constant anxious state x

[Jeff1943 in reply to Ckd123]

Ckd, if anxiety is overwhelming and we have work and/or family responsibilities then taking the respite that meds bring is the right yhing to do.

Meds bring relief but they rarely cure because when we stop the meds the anxiety returns as we have done nothing to change the way we view anxiety and how we respond to it.

So I think you are right to still read Weekes' book and learn about her method for recovery as you may not want to stay on meds all your life.

[Ckd123 in reply to Jeff1943]

Absolutely, I’v been on meds before and the did give respite from the anxiety but not long after I ween myself off them thinking I’m ‘better’ I’m back to square one! That’s why this time I’m going to be taking them aswell as trying to follow Claire Weakes recovery plan and attending CBT sessions. I am determined to beat this xx

[Jeff1943 in reply to Ckd123]

You have got the right idea, Ckd123, and you deserve to recover and will recover. Too many people just report their anxiety symptoms here and leave it at that. You are accessing medication, talking therapy and a self-help method. You are DOING something about your anxiety/depression and exploring all avenues, an example to everyone here.

[Ckd123 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you xx

[Minnie87 in reply to Jeff1943]

Especially me!!!im all mouth and no trousers I feel sometimes x

[Hidden]

Hi Ckd - suggest you get a full thyroid test done and a print out so you can submit it to the administrators who can help interpret the test. The ultrasound test is not difficult - a special sonographer just uses a small portable machine which relays the test to a computer. If you have enlarged lymph nodes they can be detected to see if they can be checked. This problem with ectopic heart beat might be associated with hyperthyroid

which makes you extremely anxious so you might over react. Some doctors prescribe medication to help the heart beat. Take care

[Ckd123 in reply to Hidden]

Hi hawii69 and thanks for reply x

I will certainly get a thorough thyroid check, even if there’s nothing wrong with it at least I’ll know xx

[Ladybug9]

You had a serious panic attack is what I'm getting from what you described and they feel like a heart attack is happening right then. They are very scary and we don't always know what brings them on or why. I use to wake up from a dead sleep in a panic. It's frustrating and scary. I hope you are feeling better now?