First time drivers license at 34, seeking support group for possible driving phobia.

I am 34 years old and trying to get my drivers license for the first time. I had a very bad experience when I was young trying to get it, and while I was in college and after during my 20’s I could never afford a car so I got used to walking. I can afford to get a car and I’m about to pull the trigger and have one delivers to me via Carvana in the next few weeks. I desperately need support and help with what has developed into a possible driving phobia. I know this is incredibly uncommon and I’m embarrassed even typing this here, but if there are any support groups or anyone who can help me, please let me know. It’s led to suicidal thoughts, aborted relationships, and constant anxiety over my self worth.

[FriendlyDude]

Hi First off, no need to feel embarrassed, this is a safe place

I was in a vehicle accident when I was in 7th grade (driver dosed off a little, over corrected and the vehicle flipped upside-down), and I totally never wanted to drive or have anything to do with motorized vehicles. Even just getting into a vehicle was discomforting, but over time I readjusted and I feel fine going in vehicles now. But driving is another story... one day as a Junior (in high school), my mom texted me saying this:

“I signed you up for driving class. Starts next Tuesday. Need to get you a permit. 🥴”

I saw that and ahhhhhhh 😨😨😨😬

However, once I gave it a try and started to get the hang of it I felt more calm about the idea of driving, but I still don’t feel 100% comfortable with driving. I’ve been in an accident, so in my head I’ve played out tons of scenarios involving accidents... my mind when I’m driving isn’t a very good place sometimes...

I don’t know what it’s like for you, but maybe if you give it try (with good supervision of course) and work on driving at your own pace, things will start improving over time and before ya know it you’ll be driving I know that’s easier said than done, I know from my own experience 😅 but oftentimes the best way to overcome fear is to confront it, right? There’s always help available, and I believe in you You can do it!

I hope that helps, I wish you the best!

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Well, I can share some of my story. I happen to be a 50 year old woman. Over 2 years ago, I got into a very bad car accident, it happened two days after Christmas, the traffic was terrible, I tried to make a left turn coming out of this store thinking that I had enough time to make it. I believe that right when I decided to make the turn, the car that was at a distance decided to speed up to try to cut past me, the car ended up plowing into me behind the front seat on the driver's side. I was lucky I wasn't hurt but it totalled my small car, and it really shook me up. And after that I have had no money for a car, I'm trying to save up what I can and I walk and take buses and Uber cabs places. My mom has been letting me practice driving her in her car, I do all right but if it's the heavy traffic hours of between 4pm- 6 pm I still just can't do it then. And I've always been a really good driver who's never been in a major accident until that happened. So if you're nervous driving, start out by just driving at times when the traffic isn't as heavy and just practice driving through subdivisions and basic 2 lane roads. Build yourself up to driving on roads with more cars on them and getting your speed up to merge on to a freeway. In my opinion, where I live in Michigan, over the past 20 years there is now so much more traffic on the roads than the way it used to be, you really have to be defensive and watch out for other lousy drivers. I've seen people texting while their driving, women putting on their makeup while their driving, some really stupid driving behavior. But that being said, there's the saying that if you fall off a horse, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and eventually you learn to get back on that horse and ride again. So just take it easy and go at your own pace and I bet you're going to do great!!!! Enjoy your car, that car is FREEDOM!!!!! I really hope in a year I will have enough to be back out driving my own car too.