Idk x2

[magicly_rose]

You know, i have a truck load of internal battles that i really don’t know how to stop. I’m trying to decide whether i should move or not. I have a lot of anxiety over that. I have so many self destructive thoughts. I’m always putting myself down. I never think i’m enough and i always blame myself for absolutely everything. I don’t have my phone because of myself. I barely have my computer because of myself. Because i’m a horribly disobedient child that can’t follow any rules. I really don’t know what to do haha. I guess that’s why i made an account here. Idk.

[Ladybug9]

We all have internal battles which is why we usually deal with depression and anxiety. Are you talking about moving from your town or state? If so, no matter where we go, there we are!

[magicly_rose in reply to Ladybug9]

state, technically. 4 hours away from where i am now

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

Hi Magic. You made an account here at first because you are in so much pain. Me too. Good move. There is a ton of support here from so many people that have “been there” or are going through something similar. Have you responded to anyone else yet? That’s the other part of being in this community. When you do, take a look at the help you are offering. It will be affirming and encouraging, and compassionate. You will never talk to someone else here who is struggling the way you talk to yourself. How do I know this? Because it’s the same for me. I know it’s hard, but try, even for a little while, treating yourself the way you treat others in pain and suffering. You deserve that. And the more you help yourself that way the more you’ll be able to be there for others. I don’t know what else to call it but a POSITIVE vicious cycle. You know that old saying, “treat others as you would treat yourself.” I’m saying the opposite: Treat yourself as you would treat others .........I hope you feel better soon....

[magicly_rose in reply to Catsamaze]

Yeah, i get what you mean. The worst part is that i’m usually the one to give people advice. I enjoy it. Makes me feel nice, but i can never take my own advice. In the past i’ve had similar situations as my ex best friend and i gave her the best advice that i could, but i could never take it myself. I always saw myself as different. “I could have avoided it. I could have known better” i could try to take my own advice, but idk if i really could. Idk how. I’m always just naturally hard on myself. I always without noticing demean myself. I guess it’s instinct now and idk how to stop.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to magicly_rose]

Take comfort in the knowledge that the vast majority of us are the same way. I really am a nice and compassionate person to others and too often a complete asshole to myself.