I feel like I've never had any real friends. And I feel like people don't want to know me or want to get to know me. My phone never rings. People don't make a big deal about me I don't understand why. I do pour my heart out to people quickly and try to be nice n friendly but get walked all over. I am at a point now in life where I look around me and see people that aren't even as friendly as me they have friends around them in their hour of need. Yet I don't have anyone. I bring this topic up as I recently found myself in hospital recently. And no one turned up to visit. I just feel like I've not been able to make friends in life and I don't know how to change that. What is it that I'm doing wrong. I think maybe no body wants to know ur problems straight away or maybe I talk too much ironically so that I can get closer to people. . I just don't know.
Can anyone advise
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Magical_thoughts
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People can feel if are successful or full of possibility or can count on you and whether you will listen to them - usually enough to encourage them to make friends or just having something in common - possibility is you haven't met the right people that are going to support you. But here you will get plenty of support because people understand and more tolerant - or just more helpful
I never had any friends either until my middle 20's. I was very lonely and desperate. I realised I had somehow never learned how to make friends when I was young. I lacked the social skills. So I tackled my depression with meds and most of all therapy.
Along with this I studied people, especially popular ones. and watched and learned. It did take quite a while but gradually I picked up enough skills to slowly start to make friends and have never been friendless since.
I have got 2 I can share with as they have/are fellow sufferers. Other I have mentioned it in passing but just leave it at that. If they are comfortable they can ask me more but few of them do. A few say they don't believe in it so I just keep quiet and change the subject. I am not my depression and the last thing I want or need to do is endlessly talk about it. Mainly I prefer to be distracted by doing or talking about other things which I find pleasurable.
Appearance is the number 1 thing to get friends regardless if you're annoying or a douchebag. Human beings desire being around attractive ppl. Even I as an ugly dude admit this. Can't do shit about it everyone wants to be a pretty persons best friend. Attractive ppl are highly desirable and showered with tons of affection, from babies to kids, teen to adult, and even the damn old people.
The number 2 thing is status. If your famous or rich you'll get friends, but you're going to have to deal with "what ifs". So you won't really no who's your real friend(s).
3. Talents and superb skills in something, but if you do have these traits but lack number 1, which is appearance you can only get so far. Talking more on repulsive ppl like me lol .
There's really nothing else wrong with your personality or behavior. Trust me on this. If you do suffer from mental illnesses or disease you'll have less ppl in your life as well. All human beings behave like this if we are being brutally honest. So if you're dealt a bad hand you'll have to work with what you got. For some it's already game over lol.
But yea seriously those 3 main things that I mentioned earlier are stone cold truth:/ yea, however if you carry yourself confidently and aren't insecure you'll definitely find one , it's rare but out there. I'm pretty repulsive so shit I done for lol. Too many rejections caused me trust issues and mood swings along with stress and that lead me to go in and lose my youth. I admit I was delusional and bit more then I can chew so I take full responsibility for being rejected by women. But I definitely don't derserve to be alone and ostracized by society either .
Damn I'm stuck because the honest truth is that all human beings keep a distance from diseases, mental illnesses, ugly people, and through my personal experience a lot of it is done subconsciously . So that leads us to avoid one another. It hurts both sides deep down if you're a decent person. So ...yea I can't blame society and vise versa.
Anyways sorry for the long ass rant bulls*** essay:/ peace and fight to adapt to all environment. You ain't alone I have like half a friend or somewhat LMFAO....ohh get a sense of humour to ya gonna need it💪✌️
Pinkeye901,I completely agree with you about why certain people have trouble making and keeping friends. I am old, but have had this experience throughout my life.
Hey bud I'm with you. If one could see and experience how it feels to be ignored and have no one I think ppl will be a little more forgiving. I'm 30 my life started to spiral down hill when I turned 18. I noticed I'm being treated with disrespect and very little patience when we was 18. My personality saved me from ass kicking, but the ostracizing and belittling damaged my whole entire being. I was a decent healthy looking kid until that fateful day I met my bullies at a printing company. They made my life miserable everyday I came in for work. My pride and ego wouldn't let me give up, but little did I know that the effects and trauma would lead me to an abyss. Lost and found my little bro to suicide and fastforward my health declined along with my youth. This is where the darkness is starting to swallow me whole. I didn't even get a chance to show my case. I was automatically rejected, belittled, disrespected, and just straight up completely ignored. It fu**** me up psychologically. Like I said ppl assumed I did it to myself and just ripped me to pieces like a wild african dog. So yea I feel you it's actually very scary to face the world alone. Peace and hope for better days.
Looks don’t matter at all it’s the sad truth. My sister told me “oh you’ll make friends easy because you’re pretty” and i’ve had girls compliment me but never wanted to put in the effort to take it further. People can be self centered and I doubt people truly care about looks because even the most beautiful women like Marilyn Monroe for instance, was also the most lonely. I do agree with the other things you said! But please don’t ever think how you look is what will bring people or deter them from you.
100 percent agree with you on this. I forgot to add in this as well. In your case girls are very nasty and will talk shit and spread rumors about you when you become a potential threat. Pretty ppl will experience loneliness because others are jealous of your beauty, and that I whole heatedly agree. Still my point stands pretty ppl will have more friends and relationships then your average Joe. If your repulsive it's pretty much game over at least for relationships. Im a person who is hard on the eyes and almost always I interact and socialize with others from slim to none.
well, i didn't necessarily say that but that's true to! i don't think girls would ever be jealous of me, but they can be very self-centered in a sense that they also think they're the prettiest thing so you should be thankful if they even compliment you. it's strange. but the many group of girls ive experienced are kind but switch very quick and can be nasty like you said and talk shit about other girls and its awkward being the quiet one who has nothing bad to say about anyone because of how lonely you are and wish no one could experience the pain and neglect as you do. this is my experience.
And gosh you'd be surprised! even "repulsive" people can get significant others you just can't have extremely high standards, of course. which is difficult because we all have our desires :/ I also think you can have friends if you have a mental illness but they will most likely have a mental illness too and then you both are stuck in a rut and neither can get one another out. This is also just my experience as well and the friendship didnt go too far because that friend stayed with her babys father long story not worth going more into detail with.
You give great advice and i like responding and even reading people who are brutally honest or give tough love because some need that. not all but some, like me.
Yea if you can manage your illnesses and aren't too I secure most definitely you'll find someone. Yes your stuck because I've seen friends turn on each other like a light switch. Your stuck In the fact that girls can be nasty scumbags so you try to befriend men, but soon you realize they just want to sleep with you. Here's where loneliness creeps in on you and you start to develop trust issues, which is damn normal. There are nice ppl out there, but damn it's pretty hard to find one these days in 2020 lol. Plus in my opinion usually friendships are built when your still a kid. I wish the best for u n merry Xmas ✌️
Magical thoughts, I feel like I am talking to a clone of myself. I am old , but I live your kind of life. My phone never rings. I, also am very nice and friendly to people, and tell too much about myself and get walked on, too. I am ugly but think I have a good personality. I really listen to people, since I truly want to know about people's lives. I also would like people to listen to me about my life, but they are not interested, since they have had good lives, and have no interest in anyone with a bad life that has had Major Depressive Disorder my whole life. As soon as people know you have depression, self esteem problems, and an eating disorder, they think you are stupid and not worth their time. I am also a parent that has also been estranged, by my son. People think that makes me a bad mother, with no history about the "why's". I was a very good mother and always made it a priority to be one. People are very judgemental. Also, I never became a somebody, have no family, and no money, I'm not worth knowing. People fail to see the honesty, good priorities, and good friend in me. If someone tells me something, I never tell anything to anyone else. It's just not of interest to me, but lots of people are not good friends and just love to gossip.
Nobody cares about me.
I truly understand!!!
Magical_thoughts, I have felt this exact way, I still do. And even when I think I connect with people, they never put in the effort or stop talking to me. It’s all about what that person chooses to see in you and I think that’s what’s I’ve learned. I don’t think anything is wrong with you, it’s just not easy finding friends who will reciprocate and when you do find them you have to put in the effort early. :\
I agree, i would say i have no friends either. When i was so motivated, busy etc didntt matter so much now having depression it really does. Ive always felt that those that need friends the most often struggle to find any. Whereas othere people seem surrounded by friends. Some unpleasant people have friends and ive never been anything but helpful, and kund to people but i haven't got any.
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Feeling like I don't deserve to be loved 
How would other people act in this situation? Not sure whether to ditch this friend.
It Ended but i don't feel like it did
I feel like I should open up to you guys.
Do you feel like this too? 
