Do you feel like this too?

[cassh22]

Sometimes I think I have multiple people in my head. I don’t mean like split personality disorder but like there’s the me that gets up everyday and goes to work seems happy but then there is the other version the one that put all the horrible thoughts in my head. The worst part is I don’t usually pay it any mind. I think because of that it gets very angry and makes me do very harmful and impulsive things... anyone else?

[Agora1]

Self harm? Or wanting to hurt others? xx

[cassh22 in reply to Agora1]

Self harm.

[Agora1 in reply to cassh22]

cassh22, there are many on this site who can reach out to support you because

they too struggle with the same issues. I'm sorry to hear this but know you are not

alone. Keep coming back to this forum. Ask questions, respond to questions. With

this you will learn and better to be able to cope. xx

[LunacyInmate]

Yes! I feel like I have myself, and a car full of passengers (all myself's too) constantly in my head at once competing. The noise in my head is loud, and caused by other versions of myself saying things, yelling things, all causing chaos. Almost always negative passengers, if not I can't hear the positive voices. But they are all myself.

[alyssakay]

Im glad that I am not the only one. I use to try to explain this to people but they would automatically assume I am Psychotic. I totally understand your post because I feel like this nearly everyday. Its like your mind wonders in every direction possible.

[Reading_Rando]

I think I understand what you mean. It's not exactly the same for me but, I usually feel like my body and emotions are their own thing and my intellect is it's own thing and they are in a constant scorched earth war with eachother.

[TailWaggingDogs]

You are not alone! I feel the same way. I can have crazy "mood" swings. One minute I am happy and the next I will be thinking all these horrible things. I like to read this forum to remind myself that I am not alone. And sometimes that's what helps the most. Stay positive.

[FearIsALiar]

I feel like this as well!!

[Hidden]

It feels like there's multiple in your head, when in reality you may just be reacting to different aspects of your life differently. so in a way, yes, we have many different versions of ourselves. When you start to experience cruel thoughts about yourself or impulsive ones, you may just be using your own thoughts then trying to create a reaction from it. What you always tell yourself is not necessarily true, but it will absolutely create a reaction for you in the future. That's why after I experienced being suicidal for the first time, I heavily practiced positive self-talk. Even the moments when I was most judgemental with myself, I would add on positive things about myself. This helped my self-esteem and if I never did that, I probably would have never made friends. I'm going off topic now, but I'd just like to add, those feelings you feel are common. That's why there's this popular common saying of us having "three versions of ourselves: the ones we show others, the ones we show ourselves, and the one we truly are."

[cassh22 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks xx

[Hidden]

I know what you mean because I feel this too!! I do not have a personality disorder, but at times I feel like I do. My "other" whatever-this-is also puts scary thoughts in my head. It freaks me out because it is not who I want to be! I've always thought of myself as this caring person who would never think negatively about others and want to cause them any kind of hurt -- heck, I've always been that person!! So I hear you! It's very scary!! In my case, I was prescribed a medication that kickstarted all this. I am still on this medication (albeit at a lower dose -- on my way off,) so I am hoping that this is purely a serious medical side effect that will return my brain to normal once off (almost there!!). There is always the fear, though, that this is a permanent effect that I will have to live with, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

In the meantime, I turn to prayer a lot to control myself.