Have any of you been close to trying ... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Have any of you been close to trying something stupid like suicide?

Dragon3695 profile image
16 Replies

I have been fighting with myself a lot lately about wanting to crawl in a hole and just die or get sick with Covid and never recover. This morning I woke up in a really bad place and I was seriously thinking about attempting suicide. The more I thought about it the more I just wanted to die. Right as I was as close as I have been in a very long time, my roommate's 3 year old son woke up and came out of the bedroom crying, walked up to me, crawled up on my chest and laid down to snuggle with me. I love this child like he was my own and today I can say he saved me. Has anyone ever had themselves saved in a similar fashion or has anyone ever even attempted suicide? I'll admit when I was younger I tried to OD on pills but even then a kid walked in the room I was in and seeing him snapped me out of it and it made me stop before too many were taken and no damage was done. Anyone who has anything to say or add or even answer one of my questions please feel free to. I guess right now I'm really looking for more support and input outside my therapist and those close to me. Thanks

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Dragon3695
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16 Replies

Please call 911 if you think you will hurt yourself. I can't explain it, but your title upset me a little because it sounds like your making light of a very serious situation.

kenster1 profile image
kenster1

sorry to hear of your struggles sadly yes and although life isn`t great I`m glad I survived.

Mone147 profile image
Mone147

I agree with MinnieMouse. I know the last thing you feel like doing in these moments is contacting someone to stop you from harming yourself but you really should. I know exactly how you feel and I've been there many times but I chose to open up about it and so I told my therapist. You really need to get help this is a very serious situation you are in. It hurts and it is hard, I know. But dying is not the right way even if every particle of your body is telling you it is. That's depression talking. And it's normal. But also very serious so please take care of yourself and talk to someone. Stay safe, we are all here for you!

Dragon3695 profile image
Dragon3695

Thanks for all the concern. I didn't have to contact anyone because I would never do anything that could hurt the 3 year old in any way plus I have my therapist appointment tomorrow and I texted him and let him know I needed to talk to him about suicide at our appointment tomorrow and not to let me get out of it. Today I am safe because of the 3 year old I wish was mine snuggled up on my lap watching cartoons with me

in reply to Dragon3695

Glad to hear it, Dragon! We just want you safe. I actually did enjoy reading your stories of being saved. I do think that is awesome. Can you do me a favor, though, and watch how you word things? This goes for me too, so I'm just passing on what I've learned and am still learning. Thanks, my friend.🙂 I am very happy that you are safe!

AnIslandOfPeace profile image
AnIslandOfPeace

I am sorry about how you feel.. sorry about all you are going through. I have overdosed on some drugs before in a bid to end my life and yeah, my mom came through and i regretted my actions. At the end, the world has brought us too much pain and worries, let us spend time on trying to make our lives beautiful other than worrying about ending it. Call your country's Suicide response team when next you feel like it. It is not over yet, my friend, there might be something beautiful ahead. Sending love and light.

Hey, I've made 2 serious suicide attempts in the past where I overdosed on these stupid psyche meds. I am trying to learn skills to cope with things before I get to that point. You may want to look into dialectical behavioral therapy, known as DBT. You learn skills to manage your own behavior. If you can't afford therapy, try going on Amazon and looking for workbooks or books about it. Not all of the skills I learned helped me but there are some that really did. Another book I am actually reading again that has been helpful is The Empaths Survival Guide by Judith Orloff. I know I'm some kind of empath because I am sensitive but in a lot of ways that's not a bad thing and it does not mean I am weak. But it does mean I have to be careful around toxic people because I absorb others emotions like a sponge!!! It's hard to know where I end and another begins. And men can be Empaths too.

It's awful to feel like that and yes I have been there , it's an awful place to be I hope you never attempt it you look like a nice person thank God for the child

Brielle-White profile image
Brielle-White

i am really sorry to hear that and i think you are suffering mental health issues to a chronic level, depression is what i suspect. You need to see a mental health expert as soon as possible.

Yes, I’ve been there and went in-patient at hospital on the psycho ward for a week. Glad I did since I saw a psychiatrist everyday where I felt I was in good place. My meds are now changed and I’m feeling a lot of anxiety relief when I take them as prescribed. Please don’t give up.

anon2508 profile image
anon2508

there is always something to live for mate.stop and have a think of anything good in life. god bless.

Dragon3695 profile image
Dragon3695

Thank you everyone for all the words of support and encouragement. I know I might not have worded the headline the best and I apologize. This morning just seemed like bad on top of bad over and over and I couldn't get myself out like I usually can. I have my weekly therapist appointment tomorrow and my monthly psych appointment on Monday. Tomorrow I'll be talking about how I've felt suicidal a lot of the last week and Monday I will be asking about either increasing my antidepressant dosage of changing meds completely. I know something needs to change as well as I need find more tools to help myself get out of situations like this before it costs me the woman I love or my life. Something truly needs to give before it is too late.

in reply to Dragon3695

Hey, it's cool! We don't always express ourselves as we should. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. The main thing is that you're getting help. Good luck today! I'm proud of you for getting help!!

Mrsbrick profile image
Mrsbrick

Yes, I have! More than once but certainly not recently. It is when I was married to a psychotic/alchoholic/drug addict! He was extremely mean--he abused me, black eyes, etc. He put out a lit cigarette on my cheek in front of our ten-year-old daughter. She never forgot it. They are both gone now. I miss her every day of my life. My son died of brain cancer. I have a baby which is in the cemetery who was stillborn. Depressed, sad, yes, I am. The only reason I am not dead is because I believe in the Commandment which says: Thou shall not kill. Woogie.

Dragon3695 profile image
Dragon3695 in reply to Mrsbrick

Sorry to hear all the hardships you have gone through. There are days where all I can think about is how I will never be happy and get the woman I want or even have a real chance to get her. It feels like I'm never going to be good enough no matter how much I change for the better. r even how hard I try. I can't give up on her because when the heart wants something or someone it is so difficult to change it and to me that is where my heart is when it comes to her. She is an amazing woman and mom to a 3 y/o that is my little buddy. I would do anything for either of them but she just doesn't find anything attractive about me. It is so hard to let go of her because she is the one person in my life that has been there for me no questions asked. Some days that is just too much to handle amd I just want things to end bit I couldn't do that to her or her son no matter how fucked up my life gets

mentalcase profile image
mentalcase

Yes I've overdosed many times and been in many mental hospitals. They are no fun and no more for me. No one ever walked in on me nor came to help me. It's only because of God that I'm alive today, because I shouldn't be. I could have tried it more times but I finally realized that we only go when it's our time, and only God knows when that is.

I've been on lots of different antidepressants, which work for awhile then quit. I keep trying different ones though plus therapy. If it wasn't for all the medications that I'm on I'd be a drunk and alcoholic today but I know not to drink with medicine.

Are your suicidal thoughts because of your girlfriend? I used to overdose because of men, until I realized that no man, nor woman, is worth that. There are more fish in the see than one. I know right now you don't feel this way, but in times things will get better and you'll find someone else.

I was raised in an alcoholic/abusive home, and been through more than my share of most things my whole life. I have depression, bipolar, anxiety, borderline personality disorder and insomnia. I keep on going even though it's been rough all my life. You sound like you're young, and if so, you have your whole life ahead of you many things yet to experience. I'm 68 years old and am tired of everything. I just found out that I may have lung cancer so hopefully it won't be long before I'm called home.

Keep taking medicine and if it doesn't work, keep trying. There are so many different ones out there now. Take care of yourself and be happy.

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