Relationship anxiety

[findingmyzen]

Does anyone else feel like someone may not like you because you have anxiety? For those in relationships and who have anxiety, what tips do you have for getting past that fear and being transparent about your anxiety to your significant other?

[GoldenMaknae97]

Personally, I find that anxiety can leak into relationships. It has definitely made me paranoid and hungry for constant reassurance. My boyfriend is not as understanding as I wish he was. He knows I am anxious but also thinks I need to relax. It's sometimes hard to understand anxiety if you have never experienced it on a deeper, constant level. Some people experience situational anxiety but not the kind of anxiety that follows you around 24/7. I think if you can express your feelings and try to share what exactly anxiety looks like for you, what your triggers are, what thoughts you get during anxious moments, and your behaviors, then it might help your significant other get a better understanding that this is not just you being paranoid.

[findingmyzen in reply to GoldenMaknae97]

Thank you so much! Very helpful

[hippieebbbz09]

It’ll come over time of you all being together. I actually wasn’t transparent with my partner . We’ve been together 5 yrs and counting , now , and he first knew I had anxiety disorder because I canceled seeing a movie mid-date, on one of our first dates . We were walking to the theater , after taking a walk around the park , that was across the street from it. We happened to get to the theater earlier than the showtime, so we found some things to do in the area, walking around being one of them. Well, on the way back to the theater, I had a panic attack, felt like my feet were in quicksand, palms sweaty - that whole deal. He was looking ahead , deep into the conversation, he had initiated. I demanded he take me to his car and take me home. I wanted not to see him. He pulls up to my place, and said he at least wanted to come inside to get his jacket. We winded up talking and I broke down crying and just told him my whole deal. It was an adjustment for us both. Him - he didn’t date anyone w/ mental issues before.

Me - I always had the comfort of hiding this from the world and being single . I was in my cocoon.

So, I guess I had to tell him , after him and I both went through it together. I wish I was more transparent in sharing that early on.

I’d say - tell your person of interest....sooner than not, because it allows you to see if you can be open with them , how caring they can be in your situation, plus they can see if they want to stay in this.

We are normal people, yes, but we have bit more delicate minds than most , and it can affect our daily lifestyle. This person of interest may be a big part of your lifestyle, if you happen to grow in love with them, so (nerves and all) find a good time to share it with them. You don’t have to be too detailed on WHAT you go through ,b/c hey, we’re still sensitive to our own situation (could be embarrassed by it - I definitely still am) whatever you are feeling on your situation, just share enough so that they know what’s going on with you.

I thought for the longest time that I’d be single for a long a** while. I was ok with that , too. I’d flirt online , share a couple of laughs , date a bit , then ghost (not because I didn’t want commitment) . I’d ghost because I didn’t want anyone to see me, in that vulnerable state, dealing with anxiety , intrusive thoughts , panic...etc. I hurt some pretty cool guys and take accountability. It’s crazy because I stay in a small metropolitan area. ( Washington DC, USA ) ( For those who live there , they’ll tell you , the dating pool is a tad small ) I winded up seeing a few of the guys I ghosted and told them. It was nice to be forgiven , but I still felt bad lol. We drifted away , obviously , but being open is better than avoiding and running away , I learned.

But, yes, be honest early in the dating phase , with whomever you see yourself ,eventually, being exclusive with. Do that, and see what can go on from there. Everyone isn’t pristine and perfect...so there’ll be that special one that , even if they can’t fully relate, they’ll , at least ,empathize and learn to be there for you and support you.

[findingmyzen in reply to hippieebbbz09]

Love this. Thanks so much for sharing your story and advice. I get embarrassed sometimes too but I also know it’s better to be honest in the beginning. Thanks again!

[Ladybug9]

My motto has always been and always will be: take me as I am or not at all. I'm extremely transparent when it comes to both my physical and emotional health issues and if someone can't handle it, they don't need to be in my life

[findingmyzen in reply to Ladybug9]

Love it!! I know that deep down but can’t help but second guess myself sometimes

[Ladybug9 in reply to findingmyzen]

Don't second guess yourself! You are important, loved, and lack nothing!!! Hugs.

[findingmyzen in reply to Ladybug9]

Thank you!!! Hugs to you!

[Ladybug9 in reply to findingmyzen]

Big Hugs back!!!