Return to "normal" is failing, in glorious fashion

[BluePeppermint]

So, a couple days ago, I posted about how well things were going back at work. Well, the shit hit the fan on Wednesday. I was told something I did was pretty much crap and they expect more from me. Fine, okay, I was upset and to be honest, I came home and got drunk (I know, not good). Well, yesterday was even worse and when I tried to defend myself, it just angered my boss even more. (I was actually correct which I think pissed her off). I didn't post yesterday because I was actually talking to a friend on the phone. Something I rarely do, but have done three times this week. So, I've taken Xanax two days in a row just to get through waking up and getting ready. I'm balling my eyes out because work is literally the last place I want to be. I just don't know how much more of this I can take. I think I've reached my breaking point. Thinking about looking for a different job. There is a firm closer to my home looking for a couple paralegals.

[babybird722]

Blue... I joined this site today because after working 14-16 hours a day, 7 days a week since COVID, unable to take days off and even working on my sick days off, I was told last week that my employer was unable to accomodate a reasonable request that I work 40 hours a week.

After living with PTSD for 15 years, this is what I have learned about employers. They do and say what is expediate for them. You are a replaceable cog to them. Do not internalize what they say about you.

The wonderful thing about PTSD is that it is a flashing light to alert us that we are in toxic situations. Rather than drown out those feelings with drugs and alcohol, we have to listen to what our body tells us. I DID NOT this time. Now I am on medication. Had I listened to my body instead of to my boss, who held me to a standard she was not able to meet, I would have moved on to another job two years ago.

No, employers do not like it when you tell them that while they were drunk and high for five months, you were doing your job and their job. That is their problem. When you get to the point where you have to defend your humanity, you have passed your breaking point and it time to move on.

Even if you do not believe it, say this anyway... "it is not me, it is them." Trust me and trust your body because we are not lying. It is NOT YOU, it is your environment.

It seems like alcohol SHOULD work and dull the anxiety we feel... but there is not enough alcohol in the world to help you survive a toxic workplace. Who wants to walk around in a coma? I am sorry, but I do not get paid enough for that.

[FearIsALiar]

I’m sorry your going through a difficult time. Please take care of yourself 💗

[Hidden]

Life is so bizarre. Please take your medication correctly or try to get the doctor to help you take off the medication correctly. And try to find things that are healthier for you like watching a funny movie and laughing at the cute little animals.

I understand what you’re saying sometimes our words can create catastrophe or blessings. I think you’re very powerful and very in tune with the world and it seems like you are very connected. Sometimes we can’t explain why things happen and they just do they just happen

There is a movie called the secret I love that movie it’s it’s not a movie movie it’s more of like an inspirational thing but it gives you an eye-opener to understanding how energy works and vibration there’s also a really really cool really really cool documentaries that would be really explain a lot. It’s called “inner and outer worlds”. It will help you understand the universe and our connection.

Boss people can suck. Maybe you want a new job. Maybe she has the hots for you. Maybe your boss was having a bad day maybe you tapped in to what was going to happen even though it was the opposite thing that you thought of.

[13ga]

BP - i saw babybird722 reply - GREAT reply.

i too was in a highly toxic work environment. and when you're in it - it seems very hard to get out. but you CAN ... you can say no to the toxicity - and find another job that treats people like people... i think there's less of them than there are toxic positions - so you may have to move a few times... but there are good people offering good jobs, and know how to treat people....

try to keep your head high; don't let the a-hole morons that literally don't know any better (that's why they're morons - they can't or won't grow) - don't let them get ya down. keep lookin till you find one of the good ones.... they are out there.