Groundhog Day

[Rudolph26]

Everything feels like a repeat. I kinda hate my job because it feels pointless. It’s the same routine each day and it makes me feel like theres just not much of a point. I’m a cashier at Dick’s and the only satisfaction I get from the job is when I give a costumer a coupon lol. I go to work, get home exhausted and feel no motivation to work out. I’m starting to gain weight, not a ton but enough to where it’s beginning to bother me and add to my depression.

I also just feel sick. Not physically but mentally. I feel disgusting in my soul, unclean would be an understatement. I feel like Christian from pilgrims progress who has a load of sin on my back. Problem is, I’m still traveling in that road to get it off my back. I don’t feel good enough, but I know ya a lie. I just feel so empty, and only feel a little better when I help others. Honestly, I don’t know if I’m looking for answers anymore, I just want them to come to me automatically, you know? I want to be motivated but have no energy too

[langedechu]

interesting i made a post about the same thing right after yours. just know you're not alone and we can get through this together. everything begins and everything ends.

[Rudolph26 in reply to langedechu]

Thanks. I hope we both find some inspiration soon

[guynfl2chat]

I fully understand. I hate my job and feel like I am just doing the basics to get the paycheck. I have little or no motivation to do more. As the year closes, it tough to see light at the end of the tunnel. I think we all have to remember we felt anxious and down before Covid and Covid has made everyone feel more "off". We can be better prepared for these feelings than others. I try to remember to take it a day at a time.

[Rudolph26 in reply to guynfl2chat]

Thanks man

[Hidden]

Hey Rudolph, thanks for sharing how you feel and being honest because I think we all can feel like that. It helps us feel like we arent alone in this. I struggle lots too and as another poster said I do really believe the isolation of lockdown has affected us alot and to some people like obviously me and you its like the monotony of it all as built up momentum in our lives and left us feeling bad.

I do think its amazing you are working though despite all you feel. It shows you have resilience and endurance even if you dont feel like you do. Your qualities as a person matter alot, more than anything you can own or any job you have. The fact you really want to help others even though you feel yoir limited in your opportunities too says alot about who you are beneath all the monotony. I dint think you realise how refreshing it is to meet a nice checkout worker and see it in their eyes that someone cares in the midst of our own lives. You probably make people feel better without knowing it.Theres many times Ive just felt better for having a little chat with a worker (just while they are scanning my things) and knowing they dont see me as a burden. You can always have love for people wherever you are and whatever youre doing and love is the most valuable quality we all can have. Youre already showing this in whatever way you can. I know its not easy to feel valuable at times but you are valuable.

[Hidden]

Hey and youre not disgusting. You are so much more than your mistakes, all of which are in the past. We are all the same as you and have loads of 'sin' too, youre no different to any one of us. You have good decent qualities too, and obviously care about others, and the fact you are so concerned shows you care about whats true and right too. I wish it didnt hurt you but I understand. You are not summarised by your past. Mistakes are just experiences that have gone by and that you we learn from. The fact that you are trying to understand yourself in relation to your past and learn from everything suggests to me you have a big good heart even if you dont realize it yourself.