Any agoraphobics out there?

[Dallas_Cowboys]

If there are any agoraphobics that would be willing to share your story, I would very much appreciate it! I’m having a hard time with this and hearing others I think it would be good for me..... Thanks

[FearIsALiar]

Love the username 😎

I’ve struggled with agoraphobia a little bit but only way I got through it was to force myself in those situations and places that felt uncomfortable. The more I did it the better it got for me. Positive self talk helps a lot.

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to FearIsALiar]

Thanks🙂

[iamyukii]

hi! i've suffered with agoraphobia for a while now, it started roughly a little over a year ago.i would say it has something to do with my PTSD (i've had since i was 14) since my trauma started when i was struggling for some sort of escape.

the way i usually try to calm myself down is by distracting myself whenever i feel my panic take over me. such as watching a video or reading. also, i close my eyes sometimes and take deep breaths, it really helped me in situations where i've felt helpless. hope this helps!

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to iamyukii]

I’ll try! Thank you!

[Agora1]

Here I am "Agora1"...was Agoraphobic for 5 years. Never venturing outside during that time. Couldn't even stick my head out to get the mail. It was the strangest phenomenon I had ever experienced in my life. One day I was anxious and then mentally paralyzed in going outside. I was determined to find out what frightened me so much since I didn't feel that much safer in my house.

I knew that it had more to do with the fear I had built up inside me. And so, with medication, therapy and lot of research and reading, I found the core of the fear. Of course, it is different for everyone but I realized that until that fear was addressed, it wouldn't make any difference where I was, since Fear had become a part of me.

My journey has a happy ending in that once I was able to accept the fear as not harmful, I could take that first baby step forward. One foot in front of the other, one step at a time.

From steps to driving to shopping (not all in one day believe me) I was back and the feeling

was amazing. The neighborhood had changed a lot in 5 years which was surprising. New buildings both with houses and businesses. Almost didn't look the same.

I'm glad you are here with us Dallas Cowboys...Never give up on your goal. We find that there can be blocks in our journey ahead in life but with help and time, we find away around that block whether it's a pebble or a boulder xx

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to Agora1]

Agora1, thank you for that! It’s been 5 years since I’ve been like this. I recently just walked around my very small block with my dog frightened the whole way. It took about a month everyday to get there! So I guess we’ll see how it goes moving forward. I’m happy for your success! I commend you!

[Agora1 in reply to Dallas_Cowboys]

Dallas, my success is to be passed forward. Helping others the best I can is my goal

this time. There are many others on this site going through the same thing. Together

we can help support each other. xx

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to Agora1]

Thank you! I just can’t seem to get over the fear of being around people. It makes me anxious just talking about it.

[FearIsALiar in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for sharing your story Agora! You’ve helped so many of us on here. We appreciate you and you inspire me 💗🌟😊

[Agora1 in reply to FearIsALiar]

You're welcome. We learn from each other's experiences. Not a day goes

by that I don't walk away from the forum with something new that I learned. xx

[FearIsALiar in reply to Agora1]

I’m glad you can share what has helped you! I know most people on the forum when they are in a good place end up leaving and never coming back unless they are really struggling again!

[Agora1 in reply to FearIsALiar]

My intention was always to pass it forward xx

[FearIsALiar in reply to Agora1]

Love you Agora!

I sent you a PM

[Agora1 in reply to FearIsALiar]

As I do you as well xx

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your story. Please share more if you think of anything. I appreciate you.

[Tbine]

, Hello Dallas,. When i was agoraphobic my biggest fear was having ANYONE including family members take notice of my anxiety symptoms that would show up like clockwork every time i was engaged in just a small conversation, i was petrified when i would feel the pores on my face open up and the wetness building up on my forehead, i had no choice but to abruptly walk away, usually to a nearby bathroom. This was the beginning of running away in any public place i happened to be in. I would seek the "safe place" that i hid from the world in. Until i started having panic attacks in what i thought was my "safe place". Then one day i had a revelation,. " If i can have panic attacks in my safe place now, i mine as well venture out and risk having one outdoors! So like yourself i began gradually walking around the block. Years later and thousands of articles i read on the subject and thousands of hours spent,. I came across an article about how the answer to all the fear was paradoxical and went against everything we thought was right, including our hardwired natural instinct of fight or flight had to become "Accept, Feel, and Stay". The hardest thing i had to teach myself to do! I suddenly realized in ONE MOMENT that all the dodging, running, hiding, overreacting, panicking, etc.. Was only keeping me a prisoner, in a prison that no one else could see. Today, i have no problem wiping the sweat off my head in front of whomever.

[Agora1 in reply to Tbine]

xx

[FearIsALiar in reply to Tbine]

That is so inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story! You give me hope💞 I was the same way and still can be at times

[Tbine in reply to FearIsALiar]

Your Welcome. There's more to it but i thought it was becoming too long. There is so much self-talk and techniques i had to use to get myself to stop running and to become not afraid of the sensations and symptoms i was so afraid to be seen by anyone. It requires alot of "unlearning" and realizing that it is the FEAR of people ever noticing your flaws, and of your bodily sensations or symptoms and trying to FIGHT them off is exactly what keeps fears hold on you. I always told myself that if i could ever help someone out of their war with this, that i would. Please don't be afraid to ask questions if you have any.

[FearIsALiar in reply to Tbine]

What self-talk and techniques did you use?

It’s difficult to unlearn things when it’s so hard wired in your brain!

[Tbine in reply to FearIsALiar]

Hello ,. Your right it is hard at first but gets easier the more you do it until YOU have control over your negative thoughts. Every technique i learned from a book or an article . When i was agoraphobic, i was a slave to my negative thoughts and even visuals or scenarios. I learned that i had to start paying close attention to my thoughts especially just before i was going to attempt to do anything. Start a daily habit of managing your negative thoughts by taking control over them , how you do this is every time a negative thought pops up, say to yourself "NO, it's not going to happen that way" or "NO, that's not true". These are just examples and your inner dialogue will depend on what your negative thought is about. Pretend that your negative thoughts are out of control children that need to be disciplined and taught that "this is not okay". The more you learn to pay attention to your thoughts throughout your days or nights, and the more you "replace" the negative with a positive,. Those thoughts will start to show up less and less until you no longer have to pay attention to them and that's how you begin to recover. Of course you will have to start to take risks and put your new skill to the test. If you are serious about how much you want or need to beat this,. You WILL succeed.

[Help_Me_Please in reply to Tbine]

I like how you describe saying no to your negative thoughts. Do you have any advice for how to build up or replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts?

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to FearIsALiar]

I want to be out in the world but I am so afraid of getting a job and having an anxiety attack because the fear comes back. These are the negative thoughts that you speak of. Just talking about this makes me cry. I’m so afraid it’s debilitating. Please if you have any other insight, I would much appreciate it. Thank you for your words!

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to Tbine]

I commend you! I’m hoping by hearing all of people’s stories and advice that I can begin to take the 1st step aside from workbooks and therapy. Thank you for sharing!

[Sasical]

Hi there, I was agoraphobic for years too. I don't want to make this answer too long so I won't go into the hell I went through because I'm sure you know all about that. I would say my biggest help in overcoming it was Claire Weekes. I read her books, bought the tape (that's how long ago it was lol) and I started going out, baby steps listening to Claire Weekes on my walkman (sweet lord I'm old).

I went from not leaving the house to doing almost everything (except trans Atlantic flying, still can't manage that).

You can do it, if you need any help putting an action plan together just give me a shout x

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to Sasical]

Thank you so much! How come I can’t seem to do what you did. The fear and anxiety is debilitating! I can walk around my small block, but that just happened recently. It’s the fear of people being around me and leaving my safe place.

[Sasical]

Well I never thought I would get to do what I do, and don't get me wrong, it wasn't quick or easy. When I say baby steps, it was probably even less than that. It was literally just going on to my landing for a few days until I was ok with that, then a few steps outside, then one street...etc etc. And thoughout all this reading Claire Weekes.It can be achieved, if I did (I literally thought in my case it was impossible) anyone can.

[Dallas_Cowboys]

Can you tell me what is it about Claire that got you through this?

[Sasical]

Her approach is, I believe, the only solution, it's basically acceptance. When we try to fight our symptoms we fuel the anxiety. It seems very easy but it isn't. If you can, I would really recommend you buy one of her books on Amazon, read the reviews first, see what you think.

[Dallas_Cowboys]

Thank you so much for your help. I hope that you are having a good day. I will think good thoughts for you!

[LiveandLetLive42]

I am the QUEEN of agoraphobia. You can check out some of my posts about it. I used to think I was just lazy, until my therapist diagnosed me with being Agoraphobic. I have a REALLY hard time leaving the house. I get terrible anxiety whenever I have plans. And of course, I usually cancel them. I work from home but the days I have to go in, I am usually struggling. My husband and I had to move back to my hometown to be closer to my parents because that's the only place I feel safe. I don't know if it has to do with trauma or what, but it's definitely a serious condition. And you are NOT alone! Anytime you want to talk, I am here.

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

Liveandletlive42,Thank you so much for that! The only time I can go out is to take the trash out and get the mail. The other thing that’s huge is my therapist helped me walk around my very small block with my dog. I do it 2-3 times a week. My fear is going out places and being around people! I have been like this for 6 years. I live with a roommate so I’m not alone. I just feel that way. I also have terrible anxiety. They don’t work well together. May I ask what is your job from home? I want to get one but I am not a fast typer and not very outgoing anymore.

[LiveandLetLive42 in reply to Dallas_Cowboys]

So before we moved back to my parents' town, I literally couldn't leave the house to even get the mail. I stayed inside on the couch 24/7. After we moved back here, I got a part time job in administration. Because of the virus, we've been working from home. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing for me lol. But, I understand your pain! At least you have a roommate. I would hate for you to be alone. The anxiety is just the worst. I added Abilify to my Zoloft and it has helped. Being close to my parents helps so much because it forces me to get out and visit them. That's good you have a dog. That's an awesome excuse to go for a walk. Think of it as you are doing it for the dog. They need to get out and walk everyday. Isn't it so annoying that we can't figure out why we can't go out as much? Ugh!

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

I can’t even do what you do. It takes 6 minutes to walk around the block and I can see my house the whole way. My roommate walks him when she gets home. I do home projects to keep me busy. I cannot sit with an idle mind or the depression takes over me. I’m currently painting the house. I have 2 more rooms after the holidays. I am VERY anxious about what to do next unless I try and get a job. I’m not sure I can because my anxiety comes from behind me and takes over me at anytime. I tried to look your past post’s but I couldn’t find them. So thanks for writing back. Anything else you have is much appreciated!!! I’m glad you get out a bit! That gives me hope😊

[LiveandLetLive42 in reply to Dallas_Cowboys]

I'm so sorry If it's any consolation, I absolutely understand what you are going through. But, those little walks are a success...be easy on yourself. Any sort of movement is good lol. And it sounds like you keep busy with painting. That's really good! I could never do house projects. I literally would lay around all day watching TV. I would get so worked up if I had to go out. I wish I could help more. I just really hope the best for you!

[Dallas_Cowboys in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

Thank you so much! You have been very helpful and kind!😀