This morning at work I got put on a performance improvement plan and I got ever so upset over it and had said how it that's the case I will be best to cut my losses and resign!
Thankfully I managed to keep calm in spite of being provoked to anger and what I have decided on is that I will be leaving that place in due course after I decided to give the plan a try.
This morning I had nearly stormed out of the place telling them where to stick their job as I was so upset!
when I worked at manchester city council in 2008 I remember me & me partner were splitting up acrimoniously & he bullied me out of my job
I got ever so upset yesterday morning when that happened but I do feel that there's a reason why things work out the way they do though.
Thankfully they have taken me off the hard things for a while so that's a good thing that's come out of it.
Going forward I will look on this as an opportunity to look for something else and string them along for a bit and then in due course slam the door in their faces and hand in my four weeks notice to leave then.
I would rather wish I had never gone to things and regret things I have done than regret not taking opportunities and wondering what might have been.
I really understand this . It must have been a shock . I remember, after 30+ years of being in the job, with an excellent work record , I was suddenly put on ' capability measures' . It came completely out of the blue. I found out why - a nasty , new colleague in my dept was behind it. It's a long story, and a long time ago , so won't bore you with all the details.
I'm wondering - on what grounds did they decide to do this ? Did they discuss it with you and explain the reasoning behind it? Or is it maybe standard procedure with new staff? As you said, give it a try and see what happens. It could be that they are doing it as a supportive thing rather than something negative. Although I can understand how it seems like criticism rather than anything positive, and it's such a shock when something like that happens.
Yes it was a shock when that happened but I am feeling better about it now as I have enjoyed a day out swimming and having sandwiches and ice cream in the park so nice things have happened and a nice weekend and day off cooked breakfast as well I cooked for myself and last night a nice salad which will make your Dylan envious!
So what I will do now I have had time to calm down and think it through is I will string them along for a bit and watch them like hawks in how they behave.
What upset me was the way this was done and I think there's more to it than that and it's more to do with the fact I won't bow down to them and give them their own way but like I say I will string them along for a while see how things go and then see about slamming the door in their faces!
Yes see how it goes. I went along with the capability procedures - some of it involved sitting in on others' lessons and departmental meetings to see how the job was done🙄 As if I didn't know after being a head of dept for 30+ yrs. I laugh about it now. I went through the motions so they could tick all the boxes - my line manager was on my side and thought it was ridiculous. I'm sure that was the trigger for anxiety though. Sounds like you've had a lovely day. It's so hot here I was up at 4am doing my ironing while it was cool. I couldn't sleep so I though I'd do something useful lol.Dyl was struggling with the heat yesterday so I've had the fan blowing into the place where he sits. And me? I'm resting on my bed, listening to music .
Enjoy the rest of your weekend 🤗
After 30 years of service ! it must have been so upsetting for you after all those years, if you hadn’t been there long it would be more understandably as in some places they need to sort out new staff to see who is suitable for the job, or not as the case may be, but after all that time 😳
It’s too hot here today, hopefully rain coming next week 👍
Yes it was a bit of a blow. It all got worse. I ended up in A& E at one point with a suspected heart attack , but it turned out to be stress and anxiety. Eventually I retired - early - and tbh I've never regretted that. Looking back it probably did me a favour as my quality of life improved .I wasn't the only one it happened to. All water under the bridge now, but it still makes me angry occasionally. I had hoped to retire at the end of my career 🤗
Roll on the rain next week😁🌧️☔
Oh dear, but sometimes these things happen for a reason don’t they, and you’ve had more years to enjoy your life.Yes roll on 👍☔️
Yes I have heard that it's rain next week and I won't get upset over it either!
I enjoyed my swimming and sandwiches in the park today!
I also believe that it's true that there's a reason why things work out the way they do as today we had been due to view a place but got told on Thursday the viewing was cancelled as someone else had taken the place and I was disappointed but after what happened yesterday I feel that there was a reason why that didn't happen as I feel I wasn't meant to have it and perhaps by accident when that didn't happen I was accidentally stopped from having made a big mistake and it gave me a great opportunity for a lie in this morning and a relaxing morning before going to swimming at 1pm.
Part of me is glad of what happened yesterday Now I have had time to think things through and feel I am making the right choice in stringing them along for a while!
It's the unfairness of it all that upsets you rather than the situation in itself and I find that the passing of time helps me cope when these upsetting situations strike!
Yes you're right. It was the unfairness . And that it ultimately was out of my control and I couldnt do anything to stop it.
With me stringing them along for a while and looking for another job and my behaviour and attitude are things I can control and also plan some nice things to look forward to next week say my usual swimming 3 nights a week which I enjoy and perhaps having lunch away from the department a couple of days a week and a video night and takeaway at home perhaps on Wednesday night to break the week up and maybe going to the park for lunch a couple of days a week.
Things I can't change is someone else's personality and attitude towards me, traffic on the road, world events and the weather.
Glad to hear that you kept your composure. One of life's hard learnt lessons is never to react or respond immediately to these situations, take a deep breath count to ten, ask politely and be assertive to get the person to explain clearly why they feel that this is in everyone's benefit. Make notes as your memory often plays tricks on you during this intense pressure situation.
Then take it away and review at your leisure, ideally discuss it with a close friend or partner. Better to play along while you sort out how to implement your decision and the consequent plan.
What I have decided on is to string them along for a bit whilst looking for another job in the process as then I will still get my wages and then if I do get fired I can claim unemployment benefits or when I get something else to go to then I will see about putting in my 4 weeks notice.
Does that sound like a good well thought out plan?
I feel I was right on Friday when I asked for a break when I was getting upset to calm down and think things through and have a cup of tea!
Today I am with my sister in law who says they are proud of me for my behaviour on Friday when I asked for a break when I was upset and got myself a cup of tea!
She says those things are never very nice for anyone and it was understandable that I was upset!
Glad to hear that you have a supportive Sister in Law and that you have worked out a plan of how to deal with this stressful situation. I am also proud of you for taking the break to calm yourself down. It is very easy to explode when faced with such a stressful situation. Keeping calm is in your best interest always, remember this as you play along with their 'Improvement Plan'.
It might be worth checking whether your house or car insurance includes Legal Protection as these sometimes provide Employment Legal Advice.
Unfortunately this is one of the ways that Employers use to try and get rid of staff that they don't want. Again it is open to abuse by managers who think that they can do what they want with their staff.
Yes I have heard stories that these things are implemented to get rid of staff who's faces dont fit!
They claim its to help me and I thought yeah whatever and decided I will watch them like hawks to see how they behave as well as actions show intentions!
Friday morning I just had an uneasy feeling when I found out I had a meeting at 9 as haven't you ever had a feeling something horrible is about to happen?
I had said to colleagues I was worried and they had tried to reassure me.
They had done this with another member of staff called Vicki who hasn't been very well and she had broken down crying over it!
Whilst my experience was in relation to a different situation , I became so stressed out by the actions of my Employers that I started to have chest pains so my GP sent me to my nearest A&E to get checked out for a Cardiac problem. Fortunately on that occasion the tests were negative. My GP then asked about my personal circumstances as it seemed logical that I had experienced a anxiety attack, as soon as I told her about my work situation she signed me off work for 2 weeks.
As this was officially recorded as a employment related stress incident it meant that my Employer had to follow their mental wellbeing procedures, so I had a opportunity to have a phased return to work and they had to record and acknowledge what had caused my attack as well as draw up a plan to prevent it happening again.Might be worth checking what procedures that your Employer has to deal with work related stress problems, should be in your staff handbook or contract of employment. Again Citizens Advice are a good source of help in these type of situations.
Don't quit. make them sack you.
If you resign the DWP will say you made yourself Intentionally Jobless, and you will be barred from claiming benefits for up to 6 months.
Do you have a Union? If so Join it fast. Contact ACAS for advice. Are you on PIP? if so it could be useful Are any physical disabilities being catered for? I mean if you have a physical disability have they made reasonable allowances, to enable you to work properly?
Or are they just being jerks?
Cheers, Midori
Just to reassure you what I decided on was to stay there for now and string them along for a bit and if they do sack me so be it!
Stringing them along for a bit buys me time and I still get my wages and should I be sacked then I will get unemployment benefit.
Sadly they are being jerks in my view and yesterday they had a colleague in tears and she had to go home early as she was so upset.
Coming off of Lexapro
why isn’t there help when you need it
Just gonna lay it out there…been crying all day. Bad depression.
Can't plan my life. Overwhelmed, burn out, scatterbrained 
Need to rant out. Sorry.
