are you out there?

[SourMelon]

Note to self, wherever you may be. Do we get the guy?

I’ve struggled a lot with having to accept that I have to stay on whichever path I choose. Currently, I’m wrestling with having chosen such an unconventional path. I love my life, I just take so much for granted. My biggest sense of hope runs light speed ahead of any delusion that could exist here. “Maybe in another life…” I tell myself. 

So if you’re out there in some other universe, are we happy? I think I can continue on with this life knowing that in some other world - I get everything I want.

It’d be a small price to pay. If for every time he tells you how beautiful you are, it means that I have to face another rejection. I’ll allow myself to be rejected 2 more times. 

I’ll keep going on our walks and listening to him talk about this or that girl if it means that in your life he’s talking about us. I’ll keep going to his house and watching him geek out over the tokens he’s collected throughout his life if it means that in your universe, we get to climb into the same bed. I’ll pretend to be interested when he tries to set me up with other people, if it means that in your life we get to say “I do”. 

Don’t even think about thanking me, just make this worth it for us. I’m rooting for you.

[CountrieSweetie]

Your post made me tear up. I could almost feel the raw emotion inside your words. I hope the same for my own multiple selves. Thank you, it was perfect. My heart fills with so much sorrow as I know what that kind of pain does to a person who feels too much of everything.

[SourMelon in reply to CountrieSweetie]

It’s a little softened to know I’m not alone. Thank you so much for stopping by; I appreciate it so much.

[Perriex]

This was beautiful! Do you write on a regular basis?

I feel similar... if I can know that I am happy in another life (the next life?), maybe I can keep going in this one.

💫💔💫

~P

[SourMelon in reply to Perriex]

thank you so much ❤️❤️ and I try to but it normally stays in my notes app or diary. I’m so happy someone can relate

[Perriex in reply to SourMelon]

💗

[Boston001]

Reading what you wrote and the comments, I know it's not what you want to hear, but.... I can't help but think you need to live for yourself in the here and now. I'm not saying you should burn the bridge, but if they aren't going to reciprocate your love, you need to move on for the sake of your own mental health. I know the multiverse hypothesis you are alluding to, but as you probably know, it is a fringe science fiction thought experiment that will never be proven, and if the math ever works out, it has no effect on your happiness in this world. If your eyes are focused on them, you may be blind to the other opportunities for happiness. Just something to think about. 26 to 58 happens faster than you think, every day has value.

[SourMelon]

thank you ❤️❤️

in the grand scheme of things I know it’s going nowhere. Just not trying to make any permanent decisions while feeling so conflicted.