How is Everyone?

[annmser12]

Today, I am feeling hopeful. I reached out to a therapist so that I can start therapy. I'm writing goals and trying to learn to love myself.

I have a really hard time loving myself. Any tips on how to do so would be greatly appreciated. 😁

[FearIsALiar]

Yayy! That is great news ☺️

I am struggling with self love as well. But lots of self care and whatever else makes you feel good.

[annmser12 in reply to FearIsALiar]

Thank you! I am trying to get myself into a routine, find some hobbies, and make friends with people that get what I'm going through.

I hope you find what works for you 😊

[FearIsALiar in reply to annmser12]

Same here. My sleep schedule has been so messed up lately so trying to get that back on track lol

[annmser12 in reply to FearIsALiar]

That can be rough! My sleep was non existence until my doctor prescribed me Seroquel.

[FearIsALiar in reply to annmser12]

I experienced sleep paralysis and it was the scariest thing ever...I couldn’t even move when I woke up until it passed 😅 caused much more stress for me but I am on anxiety meds so that made it go away a bit

[annmser12 in reply to FearIsALiar]

I can't imagine, I've heard thats super scary!

[FearIsALiar in reply to annmser12]

So so scary! I don’t wish it on anyone

[annmser12 in reply to FearIsALiar]

Well if you ever need to talk im here!

[FearIsALiar in reply to annmser12]

Thanks u too

[whatadream24]

Hi annmser12!

That is great to know that you reached out to a therapist. Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest things in life, I found out. I’ve learned so much about myself in the past 2 years. Self love is hard in the beginning but it’s so much worth the extra work, believe me! Also, some things that I do to make myself feel better about me is some self talk. Say positive things to yourself and look in the mirror while you say them. Smile too in the mirror, it really does help!

[annmser12 in reply to whatadream24]

Thank you! I will start doing this 😊

[GoldenMaknae97]

hello! I think you're off to a really great start I also struggle with self-love but I try to allow myself to enjoy things even if it's something small like going for a second slice of pie (I have a lot of pie leftover from thanksgiving lol).

[annmser12 in reply to GoldenMaknae97]

I plan on having a slice of leftover pie tonight myself 😊

[GoldenMaknae97 in reply to annmser12]

yay! do it

[Dichotomous]

Hey annmser12, Good to hear that you're feeling positive about starting therapy. Don't be to too hard initially or expect sudden changes, but thing definitely get better. Just keep your treatment supplemented with good diet and light walks/exercise, as the drugs do have their side-effects on the body. There will be difficult days, but stay there, keep fighting, Best wishes!!

[annmser12 in reply to Dichotomous]

Thank you! I'm really nervous to start therapy. I'm not good at expressing my feelings and letting my emotions out. I'm determined to give it all I got though.

[Hornetguy]

I'm so glad you've decided to do these things. You've done the hard part, getting started!

Loving yourself is not an easy task, especially with folks treating anxiety and depression so lightly, even these days.

I've been under a doctor's care for many years now, and still struggle constantly with the same thing. I think it stems from me still caring too much what people think of me or my reaction to things. It's tough to just tell folks to get lost when you're feeling like people are being unkind or unfeeling.

Also being under the right meds makes a huge difference, make sure you are being properly being taken care of.

[annmser12 in reply to Hornetguy]

Currently my doctor has me on 100mg of Zoloft, Buspirone twice a day 7.5 mg each, and seroquel 50mg at night because I was having horrible panic attacks at bed time. Those seem to be helping.

I have a big problem putting others I care about around me before myself. I need to work on that. My entire family back home in Ohio has COVID right now and I'm really trying not to let the guilt bring me down. I feel horrible that I'm not there to help them.

[texasbonnet]

Good for you on finding a therapist. I think learning to love yourself is a really hard one. In my childhood home, we were taught not to like ourselves as that was selfish. I remember being confused because I heard the minister read from the Bible, "Love thy neighbor as thy self." I could not figure out how to love my neighbor but not myself. I didn't answer that question until going into therapy much later in life.

The first time I became aware of mistreating myself was when I had to go the store. It was cold outside and I had not planned on putting my coat on before going into the store. I got out of my car and started toward the store when I caught myself mistreating myself. I was cold. I said to myself, "why are you letting yourself freeze? Go back to the car and get your coat."

After that I started watching for all the little things I did that made me uncomfortable or made me feel neglected. I struggle with it but keep plugging away.

[annmser12 in reply to texasbonnet]

I love the idea of looking out for the little things you do on a daily basis to love yourself. Thank you!

[texasbonnet in reply to annmser12]

You're welcome, anytime.

[Bigbrighteyes96]

That all sounds really positive which is great to hear!

[dmt1121]

It's wonderful that you are starting therapy. I believe that is a first step in learning to love one's self. Often that process begins by forgiving ourselves for events in our past or even ongoing relationships where we may feel or have been made to feel guilty.

If you can forgive yourself, that allows you the room to love yourself. I can't say that I love myself yet but realizing that my perception of myself as "unworthy" is untrue opens the door. Feelings of being "unlovable" can be from childhood or an abusive relationship. I am no therapist, so I will stop there but I think we must consider ourselves worthy of being loved before we can love ourselves. The flip side of that for me is that I cannot easily accept love from others.

Sorry for a round-about answer with no concrete road map but, again therapy is a great first step! It doesn't all happen at once. The journey is important to getting to the results you want.

[annmser12 in reply to dmt1121]

I agree with you. I need to forgive myself for my past, it is something I haven't been able to do. I'm hoping therapy can help me through that. I know I won't be able to love myself until I forgive myself. ❤

[zenmikho]

That is wonderful. I hope you love going to therapy. It was the best decision I ever made. It absolutely changed my life for the better.

[annmser12 in reply to zenmikho]

Did you have any struggles opening up to your therapist?

[Kamp2020]

Good for you in getting a therapist. Decorate a box and put messages in it that are positive affirmations about yourself or things you have done for others. The first one should be you are loved by all of us in this group.

[annmser12 in reply to Kamp2020]

Awe, that is so sweet. Thanks so much!