iam so passive ,agreeable and pretty fearful please help!

[Chajj]

i loose a lot of fortune because of being unable to say no sometimes i cant even figure out when to say yes or no it appears im sorounded by people with aggressive nature ,on the otherhand part of my isolation is whenever im out like going to a spaza shop iam teased badly even by a 12 years boy i really cant defend myself even if i force my self soon my chest will be jumping in and out and its like iam a famous victim here every one i meet turn to berg for something is there any one with tips on how to atleast reduce this kind of trouble please!!

[FriendlyDude]

When you don’t know whether to say yes or no, look to your heart. If it feels right, do it. Trust your heart, and live with love. Do your best! If something goes wrong, take comfort in knowing that you were trying, and do whatever you need to do to make it right. You can’t change that there are aggressive people out there, but you can choose how to respond. Even if they aren’t nice to you, be nice to them, but don’t confuse nice with letting people take advantage of you. It’s okay to be assertive and say no and remove yourself from a bad situation.Just focus on the things you need to do, don’t worry about what others think, don’t let anything discourage you from living your best.

I believe in you! I wish you the best

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m.youtube.com/watch?v=F0SW-...(Not working as expected?)

[Afrohair]

Well you really don't need to entertain 12 year old boys they are just kids and can be ignored unless the behaviour is so bad you need to speak the best thing is to speak to their parents if possible .Not being able to say no is sometimes hard for lots of people I don't think this is passive behaviour as you have put in your title.

Passive people are more ignorant this is not ignorant behaviour this is you putting others feelings before your own!

You must put your feelings first and learn to say no if you don't want to do something it is the aggressive person who is at fault if they don't like your answer but the more you say no the more they will get used to it .

If you keep agreeing people take Advantage so only say yes if you want to do something it must not be forced it will only bring you sadness

[Reading_Rando]

As an fairly aggressive person I firstly want to apologize for how people like myself can make you feel you feel. Not all aggresive people are trying to delibertly hurt you, frequently we are just too locked up in our own fears and anxeities to notice yours sadly. That doesnt mean that we dont care about your feelings though, it's just very hard for us to know what to do or how to respond to somone when they dont set boundries with us or tell us how they feel (that doesnt mean we are right, I want to help you understand how we usually experience it).

I just want to let you know you dont need to be afraid of us, we are people just as afraid as you are, maybe even more afraid. Dont be afraid to stand up for yourself, we are afraid too. I hope that helps, best wishes!

[Afrohair]

When looking at it from a South African perspective (which is where poster originated)it is more how you are brought up rather than a personality disorder it is very much in the nature of many Africans.but this is because a lot of people have witnessed many things what cause anger And it builds up inside them .a lot of South Africans especially those that have struggled have what we call a thick skin and can deal with a lot of uncertainty which we brits would not tolerate .and it comes across as aggression.( I noticed your other posts!)I'm not going to blame it all on culture but me and a friend who is African were having this discussion the other day And the poster should see that this issue is not his fault .The personalities he deals with regularly are difficult because it is embedded in the culture And upbringing he has been surrounded in.this Particular kind of aggression he is talking about is hard for an outsider to understand.

[Chajj]

thanks alot guys for your contributions i cant coment more i have been starring the screen for the whole day i have a terrible headache i need to nock off any way it is 1:50am here

[Agora1 in reply to Chajj]

Feel better in the morning Chajj Goodnight xx