So depressed...

[livelovelaughoften]

Hey y’all, so my husband keeps playing mind games and telling me he’s going to leave me and I just can’t handle it anymore. I feel so alone and have no one to reach out to... I don’t know how to keep my mind off of things and focus on me. Not to mention my anxiety is off the charts.

[Ali500]

I am here to talk if you need someone. I am sorry you are going through this right now. Things that help me is reading, taking a bath, diffuser, watch TV or exercise (or walking). Can or are you in Therapy right now? I suggest getting a Therapist to talk to. It will help a lot!!

[livelovelaughoften in reply to Ali500]

I do not have a therapist anymore... now with all the COVID things going on it’s so hard to find one that is close by

[Ali500 in reply to livelovelaughoften]

Most of them are doing virtual visits!

[livelovelaughoften in reply to Ali500]

That would be great I will look into that tomorrow and make some phone calls.

[Agora1]

Hi dear friend, there is nothing worse than having someone emotionally abusing you. Playing mind games and threatening to leave you is a power play that is used by many.

Each time you are told that is like a reinforced threat that stirs up your anxiety.

The best thing you can do is to learn how to love yourself. Listen to Affirmations and

Confidence building techniques. Use Relaxation Meditation and Breathing to calm your

thoughts. Once you have built up your self esteem, no one or anything can hurt you again.

Oh it may sting when the words are said to you but with training, your mind and body will

immediately go to your calm state of mind. You don't deserve to be abused.

Give yourself 10 respites 3x a day so that you are more than ready for anything that may

come along. And if it doesn't, the calm will be a bonus for you. I care xx

[livelovelaughoften in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for the advice and I will definitely look into all of this. I’m willing to do anything to help myself.

[Iammesues in reply to Agora1]

What does it mean 10 respites?

[Agora1 in reply to Iammesues]

Sorry Iammesues, I should have said 10 min "me time" in Meditation and Breathing. xx

[Col19]

I used to get the same thing from my ex-wife. Until one day God knows how hard it was but I got up and walked out of here life instead. 13 years together but her cheating three times really didn't help my anxiety and depression. My son visits as many times as he can and we speak to each other on a daily basis.

If he wants to go maybe your anxiety will eventually slowly subside . A happy stressless life can carry on. You deserve it

[livelovelaughoften in reply to Col19]

Thank you for sharing and the kind words ☺️

[Kat_21]

Hi! So my husband doesn't do this, but he's very distant. We are more like roomates than anything at the moment.

It's hard to accept this, but you need to talk to him and you need to realise that if he loves you, he will stop threatening to leave and he'll put in the effort to make the relationship work. Expecting it to get better by itself will only hurt you.

Marriage is difficult because love doesn't come naturally, and it sounds like he isn't putting in the effort to continue loving you and trying to get better. Maybe try a marriage counselor if you can't make him understand how much these threats are hurting you. But you should never settle for someone who does things like that because believe it or not, it is mental abuse.

If he's so determined to leave, he'd be gone now so there's still hope I think if you stand up and tell him you can't put up with this stuff anymore.

[Iammesues in reply to Kat_21]

I have a husband roommate too. I hate it. How do you cope?

[Kat_21 in reply to Iammesues]

Uhm, I think the thing that's helped most is stepping back and seeing all the little things he does to show me he cares. Like going to work, or bringing me something specific home for supper. It helps me see that, even though he doesn't show it like a typical husband, he does care. Even if they distance themselves from us.

[Iammesues in reply to Kat_21]

I guess I need to figure out how long I will be ok with this roommate thing. It’s been years

[Kat_21 in reply to Iammesues]

Maybe go to marriage counseling? I'm not sure. I usually just try and cope with it and hope it gets better. But I'm sure there is a way to work through it I just don't know it lol.

[Kat_21]

Btw, I'm here to talk if you'd want, I know how difficult these things are, especially when you're married. I'm here to be a friend if you need one.

[Iammesues in reply to Kat_21]

You’re kind. Thank you