Hello. I have been here for a while but have never posted anything. today I had a mental breakdown and it was pretty bad. I have had them before but this really scared my parents and myself. I just screamed bloody murder and pulled my hair and slammed things. None of it seems to make any sense, I just blackout. Things just get overwhelming and I know there are lots of people who feel this way right now, but I am not very good at handling my emotions and feelings. As I get older I just feel like I am starting to unravel. I understand more now about mental illness, how it works and certain coping mechanisms, but somehow I feel worse. I feel more disconnected from my family than ever and I am a big family person, always have been. I get interested in something but quickly get bored and pessimistic. I just feel like I don't exist...don't know if that makes sense. I want to tell my family and friends how I feel but don't know how. I was taught that feelings like this weren't normal and our family doesn't deal with stuff like this. we don't talk about it. Has anyone ever had to explain their depression to people they love? How did you go about doing it or any other advice? I can't just ignore it this time, I have to talk about it.
Also I want to know more about medication for depression. How has it or hasn't helped you?
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I have a lot of compassion towards you. These are very rough times we are living in, I think a lot of people are feeling ready to lose it even though they are trying to maintain their composure. I'm really not sure what else to say, but I wouldn't expect everyone in your family to understand. Try to talk to people you already have a good relationship with.
Thank you for replying. I'm lucky because I have a family that have grown to be opened minded, even though I think they still get uncomfortable when talking about sensitive topics.
Talking to your family about your feelings and emotions is extremely tough (I still have a hard time and both my parents work in mental health). I talked about this a while back with my therapist and she suggested formulating a plan. First, when you are in a pretty stable state of mind (not having a breakdown or feeling super anxious/depressed), think or write out what it is you want to get across to them. Think of some of your feelings/thoughts/experiences that you feel are important to share with them. Once you know what you're going to say, try and schedule a time with your family members where you guys can all sit down and talk. Let them know you want to talk about something that is really important to you. Try and be in a calm state of mind when you do talk with them (if I'm not calm I just start balling my eyes out and my family can't even understand what I'm saying). When you guys get together, either say what you wrote down or just read it directly and make sure to politely ask them to not interrupt until you're done. Once you're done speaking, hopefully you guys can have a conversation about what you can do to make yourself feel better (more on this in my next paragraph below) and if there is anything your family can do to help support you. Maybe your family members will even open up and share some of their feelings too.
I read in your profile that you were working with a therapist, are you still seeing them? That would be my first suggestion, to see a therapist and to work with one you truly feel comfortable with. Second suggestion is medication (which you had asked about). So I'm not a doctor or anything and meds affect people differently, so these are just my experiences. I have anxiety, OCD, and depression. 15 years ago I tried Lexapro and it left me feeling like a zombie, I had no emotions and felt numb so I stopped taking it (I was on it for probably around 6 years at a pretty high dose of 40 mg). I was off meds for awhile, then this summer I gave them another try. I started with Prozac and it was helping my depression but I was starting to get that same numb feeling like the Lexapro. So next I tried Zoloft, which I'm currently taking, and it's going pretty good. It has helped stabilize my mood so I don't cry at every little thing, I enjoy things a bit more (I'm able to genuinely laugh and smile with my family), and it has helped with my memory and concentration (I had felt like my mind was foggy and couldn't retain or recall information). It has also helped with my social anxiety, I feel like it is easier for me to think of things to say and to not judge myself over every word I say (I always would second guess myself if I had sounded dumb or offended someone). I'm taking 150 mg of the Zoloft, but that will probably increase to try and help with my OCD. Talk with a doctor of course and see what they say, but these are the 3 if tried. They are all SSRI's, which work on your serotonin.
Other than that, keep sharing and letting your feelings out on here. Practice with posting on here before you talk with your family. You said that you were taught that the feelings you're experiencing aren't normal but I disagree. All feelings are valid no matter what they are. No, not all feelings are pleasant, but we are emotional creatures so our feelings run the full spectrum. It causes more stress when we try and bottle our feelings up. Let them out either by posting on here, journaling, or telling your family or therapist.
Your response was very helpful. This is something I've wanted to do for a while. Mental illness is definitely prevalent in my family, especially my dad's side. But being upset or showing strong emotion was not a good thing and made everyone feel uncomfortable. I think there is just something inside of me trying to express itself but I'm not sure how to acknowledge it. I've written down some things and I've only talked a little bit about it with my mom, but still am not entirely ready to have a full conversation, but I am getting there. Thank you again.
Just keep taking those small steps. I've improved my mental health through very small steps and those small steps are finally showing some significant changes in my life. I'm glad I was able to help even just a little. Don't hesitate to reach out if you're feeling stuck. 😊
This is a very difficult year and I recommend you seek some professional help if you can. Contact NAMI for some support. You deserve to feel better. Keep communicating with all of us too.
Thank you for your thoughtful response. I was getting professional help but unfortunately I can't afford it right now. This winter I'll be continuing school and they have free counseling, and hopefully I can get good help there.
NAMI has free support and educational groups for families and people with depression. Check them out online. I think it’s NAMI.org
Hang in there I had a breakdown today too. Just went numb though. Took out my anger on yelling at my cat since I’m alone. Poor lil thing! Anyway, hang in there. So sorry you’re struggling. I can relate.
Going back to school shows how strong you are. I'm behind you all the way. I had a anxiety attack yesterday due to other health concerns. Keep in touch.
Hi, I can totally understand how you must be feeling mate. Its a great thing that you are actually thinking of helping yourself. They are your parents, they always want the best for you. If you try to tell them they will surely try to understand. And if you're not comfortable then try to talk to your friends first. It will be difficult but try to tell them how you feel every day and what's bothering you.
It is so good to see how much you love your family. You're not alone, if someday you feel like ranting out just write it down here. We are all here to listen, you can personally write to me as well.
I can relate to about all of this and I know how hard and scary this can be but they love you and want the best for you. I know that sounds cliche but for real they want to understand and help.
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