I have been doing really great for the last couple of weeks, able to stay very positive , energetic, joyful and peaceful...it is just like a dream
But today...
Suddenly , Uuuugh!!! today...
It’s like I lost part of my new self to a strange fear that has entered. My eyes are twitching, my mistakes are exaggerated and I feel alone in this strange world yet I’m wanting to isolate and hide away so here instead I am reaching out which is really hard to do right now.
I tried to paint and nothing good came of it. I thought ok just take a shower feel better okay take your med and feel better ok this that no matter what I’m on edge I feel like the world is watching me fail to be grateful fail to be calm fail to be the me that sees beauty.
I’m afraid I am back to being my old self that suffered so. What do you do on bad days that helps get back on track?
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Starrlight
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Everybody has bad days. So you're not alone. Maybe you should paint that picture since you have alot of bright day painting. Sometimes having a bad painting will remind you that you will and can have bad days. You can then look at it and the next day say that day is behind me and look at the bright paintings and know good days are ahead of you.
Sorry to hear you're having a rough day. When things get like that for me, I try to remember that in the bigger picture, I am doing better with dealing with my anxiety/depression/etc and to be gentle on myself during the challenging days. I remember that I don't have to be all 100% perfectly positive all the time, i can sit with some of the discomfort and listen to what it tells me. I hope this helps, sending positive vibes your way.
Well, you're in a good place here to process. Instead of being buried with your head under the covers (a place many of us would love to go sometimes) you're here and you're talking about it, so that's an accomplishment. Maybe try a different creative project. Instead of painting, maybe try doodling a cartoon about how you're feeling? Or put on some music and let your body move?
Hey Starrlight you’re not alone in this. I always have high ups and low downs. Just relax on a sofa watch movies tell yourself it’s not gonna be forever like this and try to set a nice goal to achieve!! Don’t worry just be happy 😃
Sometimes when you're super creative, expressing yourself with unlimited energy, your mind and body tell you to relax for a while.
The fact that you're reaching out tells me that you're fighting the big D with gusto. Please try to feel calmer about this.
Imagine, Starrlight, you want to isolate and hide BUT you've decided to reach out instead.
Please be gentle with yourself. These feeling will eventually become a part of the recent past.
What do I do? It depends on the situation and accompanied feelings. I try to get back to feeling positive. I read from Victor Frankl's many writings...that helps me a lot...I list my responsibilities and refuse to omit even 1/2 of one. Yes, sometimes I sleep and sleep and hide under the covers...the safe place.
I write a list of the humongous amount of things I have to be grateful for having.
Sometimes I make a cup of tea and pledge to myself that one of these days I'm going to buy a teapot.
Starrlight, is it at all possible for you to paint ...I don't know how to word this...sort of use your gift for painting to paint out you negative feelings?
Is it possible for you to realize that you DID get back your creativity...and you will once again.
You are in my thoughts and I'm a huge fan and rooting for you!
I'm sorry it's been a hard day for you. Those days are awful I know. Just remember that the bad times always pass (although it definitely doesn't feel that way when stuck in a rut).
What do I do? Well, my defense mechanism is to fall asleep, so I don't know how helpful that is to you. This is where having someone to help comes in handy. My husband is awesome at trying to help when I'm down. He doesn't always succeed, but he tries and that is huge for me! Could you schedule something with your kids (I say schedule because I know they have school)? Or is there a friend you can call? Maybe you could journal your good days so that you can read about them whenever a bad one comes along. One of the things my therapist has tried to get me to do is to write out a schedule for myself. I tire quickly, so one of the things on my "schedule" (I've figured out that schedules just stress me out) is rest time. I always look forward to those times. Could having a schedule with things to look forward to be something for you?
Btw, I think it's really cool that you had so many good days in a row!! Good for you!!
Ha so funny you do this because I too fell asleep!!! Yes a schedule with things to look forward to sounds great, Minnie. Thank you take care. Hope to ‘read’ you again soon ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Btw, just in case you read my most recent post, please don't take it personally. You are actually one of the people I thought of for taking it personally (nothing wrong with that; I have this cursed ability as well). Anyway, just wanted to get that out there.
You're welcome! (Insert emojis of your choice here-- am on laptop, so no emojis (sad face) ). Oh wait, I can do that one!
Why would I take it personally?I just read your latest post. 🤔 the way I see it is no one can know what intense feelings and situations may be going on underneath the writings but I think however seemingly small the problem one writes about it seems maybe a kind word may lift someone up who feels down or afraid in their world. ❤️
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