Just need to vent.

[Bookmama20]

I thank anyone in advance for reading this, I just need a place to vent. First a little background. I have been battling depression and anxiety most of my life, I was just diagnosed with PTSD as well. Since July 15 I had been dealing with some health issues, which ended up not being anything. I've been out of work since the first of August. I live in one state work in another and the one I work in doesn't have temporary disability. So the past 10 weeks we have only had my husband's income. Medical bills,in adittion to our regular ones piling up. So needless to say I'm a wreck emotionally. I have been talking with a therapist, and have a televisit with a Psych Nurse to discuss and manage my meds.

One of my triggers is death(I know everyone has issues with it), a friend,family member,pet,someone sick,etc. I do not handle it well. We had a kitten about a year ago, who got into something,made him sick,and passed away at 6 months. It wrecked me. Like holding his urn and sobbing, for months after. I still cry over him. We recently got another, she is 11 weeks. She recently (last couple of days) has had the runs. I called the vet, and they said it may be the chicken we gave her, and if it continues over the weekend to call Monday( she has a wellness appt on Wed). They didn't seem overly concerned, but my anxiety or PTSD is driving me insane. So I may,call tomorrow, she's had it 3 times today. Where she needed a bath twice.I keep thinking something is wrong, my stomach gets upset, then I get the runs, and will sit an cry. I'm really trying to not lose my cool, but it is really hard. My heart breaks to see her sick.

I am going back to work on Monday since being out with the health thing,and I'm nervous that what I felt before will come back. (Was having chest pressure).,Glad to be going back, but apprehensive too. So all of this is weighing heavy on me and I'm really trying to stay calm. If you could, keep us in your thoughts. Thanks for reading if you got this far. 🥺🥴

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with so much all at once. The world has gone crazy, which just ramps up your depression and anxiety. It's ok to grieve or worry about your pets....they're your family, too! You seem to be doing the right thing by your cat.

Remember to love yourself cut yourself a LOT of slack and take a deep breath. You're not alone, you will get thru this and things will improve. Best of luck to you.....

You can do this!

[Hidden]

A lot of stress happening at once is hard for anyone to deal with. Just do the best you can and leave the rest to God. Try not to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, things will work themselves out.

[Shilohlove]

Bookmama20

I don’t know if you feel this way but sometimes I wish we did not feel emotions like sadness or worry. I was a nurse for 20 years before I became disabled. One of my coworkers would say pain is good because we know we are alive. Acute pain is one thing but chronic is in a league of its own. Needless to say I thought she was an idiot.

I hope maybe this made you smile or laugh!

[Bookmama20 in reply to Shilohlove]

Thank you. Yes I did chuckle. I think it is true, the pain,worry,etc lets us know we're alive. It just gets too overwhelming for me lately. I'm praying the next two and half months go by smoothly.

[Hope4me1]

I know just how you feel. This could have been written by me. I just moved to my home state again and was not able to get any medical insurance. This on top of the pandemic and state of unrest in our country has increased my anxiety and sensitivity to anything negative like death or sickness. It’s a challenge each day. I’m glad you are getting support and know that you are not alone in this battle. I wish you well💕

[Bookmama20 in reply to Hope4me1]

Thank you! The past 18months have been horrible, the pandemic is not helping at all. Neither is social media. It juat makes things worse. I have family members that think their opinions are the only ones and are the right ones,and are just rude about it. Between that,politics, the back and forth it just makes thinks that much harder. It sucks! 😂 But I'm working on making myself better, or at least getting to a better place.

[Hope4me1 in reply to Bookmama20]

Yes, always a work in progress.😊. Take care and keep in touch💕🌸

[0laf]

I am sorry to hear all of this coming to you at once. Here ia a link to a good meditation when yiu feel engulfed by emotions esp sadness

youtu.be/O3Ku-cpdSJM(Not working as expected?)

I am a chronic depressive. One thing I know sbout us is that we are highly sensitive .. which is in a way noble on the positive side.

Will keep you in my prayers.

Another thing that helped me with the death concept .. a belief is that we are eternally alive .. it is just a different way of being and that some day we will meet with all the ones we love .. it is only a matter of time