Anger

[gnsbao13]

It seems that lately I have become extremely irritable. I’m always dealing with emotional highs and lows. Sometimes I feel so angry. Everything only makes me angrier and it builds and builds and I have no outlet. There is no way for me to release this feeling or make it stop. This leads me to ineffective coping ways that only hurt me. After a while I crash and my anger subsides and I just feel worn out and very sad. So I guess I wanted to ask if anyone could relate? If so, when you are angry, how do you deal with it? What are things you do that you find can relax you? I desperately need to find ways to relax because I know hurting myself is not a good way to go about it.

[Fireking1]

Hello! Yes, I think many of us on here will relate. I'm a continuous self saboteur when my emotional cup overflows! I've gone through the same patterns for years and the frustrations and resentments built. I've kicked and screamed for emotional support as loudly and destructively as I can ,until I realised the answer was in myself. Of course, support is wonderful and you have made the first step in healing yourself by talking and asking for help. I applaud your bravery, you've accepted this anger is intolerable and you want to change it. Releasing the anger in a safe way is a good start, breathing techniques, long baths, listening to calming music to be in the moment. Most of all, you need to take time. Set aside one part of your day just for you. Do this weekly and practise but dont beat yourself up if you cant relax at first,habits are hard to break. Just realise that you are accepting how you're feeling and your anger is ok, but you're going to let it pass. Remember that anger us deep rooted and it took a long time to build resentment so it will take time and practise to release it. Good luck, you've made an excellent start.

[gnsbao13 in reply to Fireking1]

Thank you for your reply and tips, I will for sure try that

[Sky_clouds]

I can relate with you. I think it is throught thinking that you will come out of it and as you may be experiencing it will be slow and not a one time process. You seem to be on the right track.

You have let yourself feel the anger, be sad. You have to not let it affect you irreparably because the you have see the point in your suffering. You are going through it to come out of it.

I know it must be difficult for you to do things as of now, but a little bit of forcing yourself to get things done is okay. It makes you feel good, doesn't it?

You have to strive for the balance between not being too hard on yourself and being strict with yourself. You cannot get mad at yourself for crying or being angry but at the same time you have to tell yourself that this needs to stop. Talk to yourself as you would to a friend has worked for me.

[Sky_clouds in reply to Sky_clouds]

I have a tip you might find it useful. Pick a task (sketching, reading) and commit to yourself to do for a fixed time (an hour or even less). Do it everyday. But please don't be hard on yourself as Frieking said.

[gnsbao13 in reply to Sky_clouds]

thank you for the advice! I appreciate it so much, and you are totally right. I am very hard on myself about feeling “angry” and it only makes my emotional state worse. I will definitely have to try talking to myself as you would a friend and setting time a day to do small task

[Hidden]

Your words "It seems that lately" are what piqued my interest here. These words suggest that this isn't your normal self, am I correct? If so, I can relate. A medication that I was on caused me unwanted psychiatric effects (anger, abnormal thoughts, etc.). I am still on this medication, albeit at a lower dosage, and am feeling more myself. It was not pleasant to feel what I felt.

[gnsbao13 in reply to Hidden]

Oh no! I am sorry you had to deal with that. Yes I don’t feel this is my normal self. I of course have gotten angry in the past but is not even close to the intensity it is right now when I tend to feel angry

[Hidden in reply to gnsbao13]

Yeah, it was not fun in the least. Can you believe that a medication can do that to you?? I couldn't believe it!

I don't know if you're on any medications (and you don't need to tell me,) but you might want to get them checked out if so.

[gnsbao13 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah honestly it is so crazy the side effects of some medication! The medication I was on previously made me extremely agitated and I was unable to sit still! was miserable

[Hidden in reply to gnsbao13]

Oh, I'm sorry! It's crazy alright! And then, as if things weren't bad enough, you're lucky enough to have some doctors who think that you're fine with the dose you're on (being facetious here). This was my case. It took some convincing to tell him that the medication was doing this to me. The first time I approached him about going down (was denied), he might as well have said "I don't feel any bad effects, so why are you?" Overall I have been lucky to have such caring doctors, but my neurologist (the one I mention here) takes some work.

I hope you have good doctor(s).

[Hidden]

What you're saying is so relatable. I tend to try to cover up my irritability and anger until I'm ready to snap or explode. I'm into music but I have learned the hard way to stay away from certain music like Eminem because listening to that just makes me more angry, it is truly poisonous. I try to stay away from people who trigger me, not easy when you're in the same household!!! Listening to meditation music or soft songs and ballads can be helpful to dissapate it, sometimes trying to distract from what you're thinking about that is making you angry is helpful.

[gnsbao13 in reply to Hidden]

I try to “relax” but am unable to and it builds and builds. When I snap it’s only disastrous to myself and the people around me. What music do you typically listen to that helps you relax?

[Hidden]

Well, there's some songs I always come back to!!! Here's some of them: All that you have is your soul- Tracy Chapman, Bloodstained Heart-Darren Hayes, Sister Moon- Sting, The Power of Goodbye- Madonna, Getaway- Richard Marx. Check these out and let me know what you think!!! They are all on YouTube. What songs calm you down???

[gnsbao13 in reply to Hidden]

I don’t really have any songs that calm me down? I haven’t necessarily tried music for that!

[Hidden in reply to gnsbao13]

It's about the only thing that works for me sometimes. There are actually people who work as music therapists, but it isn't a big occupation where you can find a job that easily. I used to want to be one. I used to want to be a lot of different careers when I was younger. Now I'll be lucky if someone hires me for much of anything. Reality is a little too harsh sometimes, especially these days.

[gnsbao13 in reply to Hidden]

Yes it is definitely a crazy world and even crazier 2020!

[pamb67]

Ur not alone I'm.struggling with the same issue. I don't have advice but talking is probably the way to go