Anger

I have so much anger I just feel like cussing everyone out. I hate having anger not sure how to deal with it. People are always like "dive deep, or what are you hiding, or do Shadow work". I'm just like okay, you do that. Anyway, if anyone has some objective tips Holla at me please. Thank you.

[kenster1]

would you attend anger management classes.

[012703060610]

axe throwing is legit. I find that physically getting some hostility out works well for me. This comes in the form of boxing for me too. Mine is more targeted at my ex husband…so I can source my anger and avoid. Regardless…I have done axe throwing a few times and they let you cuss up a storm! Honestly these two times I left laughing, a good kind of body sore, and a restful night of sleep after. You can recreate this in the woods depending where you live. Maybe objective?

[Hidden in reply to 012703060610]

Thank you so much. Mine would be directed at my dad.

[Hb2003]

1. figure out why your angry

2. think is it worth getting angry for

3 . think will something I do or say hurt someone

4. take deep breaths

and lastly remove yourself from the situation if necessary .

[Hidden in reply to Hb2003]

It hard for me to pinpoint why I am angry a lot of the time but I will try this method.

[Hidden]

I read something that said anger is an emotion of protection. It is part of our defense system kicking in and telling us that something isn't right -- that we've been hurt in some way (mainly that our boundaries have been violated) and that we need to protect ourselves. Have you been hurt in such a way that that hurt hasn't been validated or that you haven't been able to get closure for it? This question is more for you to think about than anything.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I definitley have by my parents in a big way that is put in a closet a locked up and never talked about. Thank you so much for this. A lot to think about.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You're welcome.

[Artistfriend]

Hitting a heavy bag helps me. Express the anger. Find a private place and say whatever you want, write it, draw it. Find a way to connect with it . You might have to have do it daily for awhile

[Hidden in reply to Artistfriend]

I like yelling in my car. Your techniques seem healthier!

[Artistfriend in reply to Hidden]

That sounds like a good idea too, as long as its not about other drivers or anything but its a safe space to let it out if thats what you mean

[designguy]

I had a lot of repressed anger and finally started acknowledging it and dealing with it. What helped me was getting in touch with the anger, mentally visualizing who I was angry at and beating the crap out of a pillow at the same time i was mentally visualizing them as the pillow. I would beat the crap out of the pillow and vent until I had no anger left at that time. I also would do the same thing but use a plastic baseball bat and beat the crap out of the pillow. If it was nice out and I was triggered I would do the same thing with a sledgehammer and beat the crap out of rocks. I started doing it anytime I felt triggered, it's a great way to release it and I feel great after doing it.

[Hidden in reply to designguy]

Thank you! Someone above gave the same idea!!

[Sawdust23]

I like that you’re willing to look this anger straight on and not repress it. It is what it is…and working through it as many have suggested is important. If you can identify its source, even better. But nevertheless, being aware of the anger and being willing to work through it is key. You’re well on your way.

[Hidden in reply to Sawdust23]

Thank you for your support.

[catsrock]

I use tapping and here's a tapping meditation on anger: thetappingsolution.com/2023...

[Hidden in reply to catsrock]

A good neurofeedback therapist recommended it to me and I have practiced but without technique just tapping random spots on my face. I will try to plan to do it more scientifically guided. I did a guided meditation yesterday and it was great.

[Boston001]

For years, I was an angry man. Constantly aggravated. Constantly getting in arguments with my wife, my coworkers, my bosses, my customers. My biggest fear was what I could do with my anger, and how detrimental it would be to burn bridge or harm someone. Then, sometime in my late 40s. I began having severe panic attacks. And that angry man that I knew so well. Was now a frightened man who developed agoraphobia? I learned through years of therapy that Anxiety/stress wakes up the Amygdala and triggers the (fight or flight) response to stress hormones. So in those early years, I was presenting my anxiety through anger (Fight) as a coping skill, and now, in my later years, I am expressing it as fear (Flight). It's a cat with two different stripes. But nonetheless it is the same cat.

Find you moral self. when you mind is quiet ask yourself if you are a pacifist or a person that feels good by being aggressive. Next again, while your mind is quiet sit down and write a list of you triggers. I used to be able to go from completely calm to an absolute Madman if somebody started talking over me. Then I learned to predict the possibilities of when I was going to be triggered so I was prepared in advance. Realize that your battle is with yourself, not with them. I also realized that there is a certain percentage of people out there that are tuned to identify that you are going to react and they find it entertaining to **** you off. There are tons of videos and books out there that will teach you how to identify and handle toxic people. Well I hope some of this helps. Peace!

[012703060610 in reply to Boston001]

Flight or fight is very real. I similarly have grown into the flight state over the years. I have been reading a lot about the Vagus Nerve and getting that reset when you can. I actually need a voice therapist who does breathing and is working with a lot of long haul covid folks. A very small technique to reset the nerve and a wave of calm comes over me. Just a random comment for some folks here.....for long term depression and anxiety, I know a few folks through my therapist that had small devices put into a part of their brain to automatically stimulate the Vagus nerve. Too scary for me to think about today, but is something long term that I am considering. The vagus nerve is what controls fight or flight. Interesting Forbes article on it. Thank you for sharing as I feel I have come along the same path over time. An agoraphobic, middle aged mom, on disability hot mess.

forbes.com/sites/womensmedi...

[Hidden in reply to Boston001]

I have dealt with a disgusting amount of stress. I hope to look at your feedback sometime as it resonates as true but still difficult to look at. Im mostly giving myself a break from everything until Im a little more stable. Thank you!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I feel like im at an inner war of being a pacifist and being an aggressive person. My biological family fled the civil war in former Yugoslavia and in my later adult years I have turned into a pacifist but my past and parental influence pulls me to the otherside and i don't know if there is a balance for me.

[Midori]

Anger can be a good thing in the right place and at the right time, but it can also be very destructive both to you and all around you.

Do you know why you are angry?

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Mostly at myself for not being a positive person as well as very angry at my narcisst dad. I don't know. Thank you though!

[luxlife]

For me - and I don't know if this will hold true for anyone else - I can feel the difference between my healthy anger and the stuff that could really just burn everything around me to ash in a hot, spicy instant. I don't think I have had the ability to discern for very long. And, to be honest, I'm not saying that I have really great control over either - I gracefully acknowledge that i still have a lifetime of work to do in this area! LOL

It is nice, though, to recognize that - sometimes, I am watching myself in the state of anger, recognizing that it is generally because I feel vulnerable/at risk in some way, and then I'm still telling someone - hey, you need to back off (or whatever). And, those expressions of anger: for me, I don't have the whole hangover of shame from them. I actually feel good that I protected myself and did the needful.

Other times, if I just blow up and I'm not checking in with - hey, what's the source here? Am I feeling threatened? Am I feeling like someone did something that is really dangerous to someone else? Whatever the cause may be... if I'm not checking in and it's just raw emotion... well, then I get that shame hangover. And, I try to avoid that like the plague.

I don't know if that's useful or not. If not - sorry you spent the time reading this! LOL -and still, I do understand where you're coming from.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to luxlife]

Your self awareness is impressive to me. I understand exactly what you are saying. I do the same thing with a lot of my traits. Self pity versus sadness. Fear versus anxiety. Selfishness versus self care. Taking my own inventory is vital to any balance I need to acquire.

[Hidden in reply to luxlife]

I definitley feel that. I have been able to stand up for myself and desperatley need to learn how to do that better cause I literally have done it only a handful of times it feels like and i want to change desperately. Thank you!