I'll start by saying English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes I might make. I'm so tired. I can't think straight.
I am very sick. Nothing fatal. I'm a cancer survivor, I had chemotherapy and radiation. I always say chemo destroyed my life. It gave me Peripheral Neuropathy. I don't know if it's a coincidence but a few years after the chemotherapy I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and some years later I was diagnosed with Restless Legs Syndrome. Another "coincidence" ?
I don't want to know anymore. It's too late.
Besides that, I have other health problems. As I said, nothing fatal but extremely annoying and painful.
All this has made me very depressed, to the point that I don't want to live anymore.
I've been prescribed several medications but nothing has helped. I was having treatment with a wonderful psychologist and one day they called me to cancel my appointment. They didn't explain me why. I never heard from him again. He just disappeared from the face of the Earth.
The last medication I was prescribed was Lexapro. It did not help, so at this moment I am coming off it, very, very slowly, but I am having the most terrible withdrawal symptoms.
I'm married to a wonderful man and he's trying so hard to help me but I've been kind of nasty with him even though I adore him. That's why I say I think I'm crazy.
Today has been especially bad because this morning a very close friend of mine died from Covid. I just can't stop crying.
I'm sorry that you're going through all of this. Depression is so hard to get a handle on. It took me almost a year if my doctor tweaking my meds around before we found the right combination. Try to find a new doctor asap. My doctor left the practice suddenly and I still have a week to go before I have my appointment.
I understand. Sometimes if you get on some meds that work, you can see clearer. Then you can put other plans into action or get worries straightened out with a clear head. Learn some Cognitive behaviors that your find work then wean off of those meds knowing that you have the tools in place to handle everything.
So sorry for your loss of your Dear Friend to Covid. Life can be so unfair.
It's ok to cry, sometimes we need to.
Your husband probably understands. We seem to take things out on those closest to us. You could apologise to him?
But I would be wanting to get your meds sorted out. You don't need withdrawal symptoms on top of everything you're going through. Could the withdrawal dose be tweaked? Upped a little for a bit longer ? Is there a low dose of anything else to help with the withdrawal? I don't know about these meds, sorry. But when something doesn't work as it should, we should always contact the doctor again. We're not being a nuisance - they need to know.
I wonder what happened to the psychologist? Could he be ill, do you think? Could they be cancelling all appointments because of Covid? Have you considered calling them and asking for telephone consultations, explain how valuable your appointments were to you, how much they were helping? Ask why they stopped?
My husband and I are not getting the medical care we should be, and need, like many others. That situation was supposed to be improving but we're back in lock down now as Covid cases increase. Prayer helps.
So sorry, again, for the loss of your Precious, close Friend.
I hope you get your meds sorted and some relief from all the pain.
My husband is the most wonderful person you can imagine and is very worried about me. I do apologize to him and he understands.
I don't know the answers to your questions and at the moment I have no one to ask. I had an appointment with my doctor on the 7th of December but they called me to cancel. She was very pregnant the last time I saw her and I imagine she already had the baby. Apparently she and her husband moved to another city. Now I have an appointment with a new doctor so I have to wait.
I have no idea what happened to the psychologist. I've tried to find him online looking for psychologists in this area and I haven't found anything at all. I checked the white pages... and even the obituaries!!... there's nothing!. That's why I say he disappeared from the face of the earth. When I tried to find out they wouldn't tell me. I decided to give up. It's really a mystery.
I've been thinking about getting a new one but the Covid has stopped me from doing it.
Hi Micafe sorry to hear of your problems I know of something that may help you it is a natural substance not a drug it isn't dangerous at all and you can't say that for all natural compounds - it's called inositol and is incredible for nerves
Inositol is like wifi for the brain I suggest you check it do your own research into it I buy my inositol from a US company called biovea I tried some from ebay uk but it didn't agree with me I think bc it was derived from corn and I may be allergic,
The first inositol I tried was by Biovea then I tried one from a company on uk ebay and it didn't agree with me so I ordered some more from Biovea which came from US - Biovea used to be in UK I am in UK - so the quality and content of inositol varies ? It's really good my hair has grown and my curls have come back it is also anti cancer
So sorry for your loss. It is hard when you reach older years as it is inevitable but this virus makes it so much worse and so fast. Hope you are taking good care of yourself as you need to enjoy these years partly for yourself but for all those who have passed away. I am your age and hope it gets easier for you. Hope your health improves. Pain is draining. Finding a daily simple pleasure is warranted, no matter what that might be if just a cup of your favorite tea, but enjoy it down to the last drop, mindful of the pleasure of taste. Take good care. Wishes for things to improve for you.
Dear socratesanne, Thank so much for the very nice words. Something I really need now. Getting over this is going to take me a while. I just looked at the time and my friend died exactly 24 hours ago. I am so sad..
Grief comes in waves and I just have to compartmentalizing it depending on what I need to do that day. I notice it often makes me procrastinate with daily issues, so it is something I need to do, but the depression does so often get in the way. I totally empathize with your process as it is difficult. It does get easier but as I have aged the losses come more often, especially in our world pandemic which makes death so common and devastating. Try to look for joy each day, like petting a pet, or a cup of tea or a soft pillow, or my favorite music or a good movie to take me away from the sadness. Wish you well in this grief process. Take good care.
Hi. Things are getting worse. My friend's husband, who is also my cousin, is now in the ICU and there is not much hope according to the doctors. I am heartbroken. I can't believe this is happening.
So sorry as it seems things are coming faster for you in this grief state. Take time for yourself, even though that might seem selfish but it is so helpful to keep up your spirits. This cancer is so bad and just a constant reminder to you and that invasion on your body. Now the virus or whatever is causing your close loved ones only brings all that trauma you endured to your own body. It gets stuck in your body, fear. Today my fear crept into a nerve in my neck but I know this is body fear. Hope as I stay centered maybe, just maybe, my body will regather itself and rest that nerve. My age is same as yours, but my albatross was a stroke that left me paralyzed for a few months as it affected my nervous system motor planning center.
Fear attacks the body, especially the bones and nervous system. We all need to love nature and the wonderful sun when it is there, soak up the wonders of nature. Used to get upset when the weather got me down but now I see more and more it helps if I just see it for what it is worth, natures way of healing the earth. We could all take messages from this process.
There is a book our by Louise Hays on affirmations. It has a wonderful section of verbal affirmations for the specific organs going wrong in the body. I hope to go over it a lot when the winter takes over, hoping the joints and body recoups through all the losses this world has thrust upon us and those who handle it.
Discovered a place in Florida that makes capes made of microfibers that help with healing when worn. This infra red fibers has been around for decades but folks always seek drugs instead of help the body with healing fibers or meditations which I am sure helped get your through the cancer. This blanket or cape they actually use for horses after when they run to help the body. I had to put it on today as this neck is aggravating as things are getting out of control in my country and it takes its toll on the body.
Just being outside in the sun is healing if it is warm enough and listening to water or the wind. When I have lost people It seemed even more important to heal the body in their honor, in some way, as I know they would be pushing me to do that.
My major worry lately is this virus and preexisting conditions for my own children who are spread out in the country quarantined and my fear for their futures but worry only pushes me in the wrong direction, so I hope your cousins husband recovers and can move forward and we an hope for his speedy recovery.
My own son had many open heart surgeries throughout his life and I wish for him a safe future and hope they stop game playing in our country and focus on science that is better than the manmade solution, getting back to basics when they can.
Totally understand your anger but it is harmful when we allow it to enter our body instead of letting it lift off. My daughter had one of those kites that have lights in them and they send them off into the air. My family they think of that when the family miss their father who died a tragic death a few years ago. I just imagine that with problems as my visual to reach that light into the sky. Would not recommend it for real now given the fires we have had but a visual is just as good for me or sending good thoughts to people like you or others wishing you health as well as your cousin. I think the power of the mind has got to grow if we all just use it. Take good care and so sorry for the length. Do not mean to bore anyone but I am just too wordy, not my proudful trait.
Hi socratesanne. My cousin is still in the ICU. Nothing has changed. I've been crying so much. This is a nightmare... Also, my pains are killing me. I just can't take this anymore. This is to much. Thank you so much for the nice message.
Big hug back to you. If you have a friend of family member ask them for a big hug as once you do that your brain is sent oxytocin that lights up in the brain and is vary calming motion for you. They have seen hugs light up the brain . Also those three breaths also helps oxygenates the brain the cells. When I need to cry I try to see how wet I can get the floor instead of fighting the body and the need to cry. There are literally different chemistry in tears, especially the tears of sadness as opposed to tears from breathing an onion or other types, I believe, but forget how they also help the adrenals so cry to stay healthy. I realize it is hard to type and cry so put the computer away as you did. Good for you and let the tension leave the body instead of locked into this blight on our world in many bad ways besides the good ones. Take care.
Dear Micafe, I am really sad to hear that you are going through all this. You are not crazy, no not at all, don't say this. Remember that during COVID 19, there are a lot of dear ones, we have lost and our prayers are with all of them, so is their solidarity with us. Your feelings will get better after sometime, just don't stress too much. It's okay if one psychologist has dumped you, go to another, there are millions of them. The battle of mental illness is hard and is hard won, just keep te hope alive, you will get better. You have with you, the most beautiful person in your life alongside you. Thank the creater for him and cherish time along with. It's okay, some fights are not that bad.
Thank you very much for the nice words. I'm planning to get an appointment with a new psychologist but now I am terrified to get infected that I don't want to go out. Is it a coincidence that 3 of my doctors, including my family doctor, have canceled my appointments the last month?. I never new why!! The world has gone crazy!!! š£ā¹
you're not crazy. the after-effects of chemotherapy haven't had the attention or study it deserves. there have been some studies, and some indicators that say, "yes - something's different after chemo". however - these effects are wide, and differ greatly between individuals.
the complaints include: pre-menopausal women often report early onset menopause; ongoing peripheral neuropathy; early onset arthritis; symptoms that may be fibromyalgia; fatigue; bone and joint pain; "chemo-brain"... the list goes on...
i have some of my own theories that other "symptomology" may be connected to chemo. i won't speculate on theory - but only mention this, because any changes that you experience post-chemo, MAY be somehow connected to chemo... I wouldn't jump to any conclusions - but i wouldn't rule anything out.
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i know that 1 treatment for depression, is also a treatment for many other ailments as well. studies have shown that exercise is as effective, if not better than most Anti-Depressants - and especially the SSRI class of A.D.'s (of which lexapro belongs). i'm not suggesting you replace AD's w/ exercise - but do amend your treatment w/ it. just walking is enough, but more strenuous workouts benefit in additional ways - (consult your dr).
there's another treatment for several of the problems you've indicated. meditation has been shown time and again to help w/ anxiety, fatigue, and above all - stress - which worsens everything else. i posted a 'how-to' on meditation here: healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...
meditation is a learned skill, which anyone can learn; but like any skill requires practice to become adept. just like exercise, and eating a healthy diet, these 3 things are critical to a healthy lifestyle.
i did a deep dive into diet and nutrition 10 years ago; the results of my research convinced me to become a vegan. i can say, the changes andimprovements in my health and condition within the first 90 days of this change - were epic (and they continued well beyond). i'm not suggesting you go 'all-in' as i did - but any movement in your diet toward this, is a move in the right direction. again - you should consult w/ a dietician or nutritionist if you make any significant changes. i'd encourage you to do your own research. suggested search topics include: "china study"; "esselstyn diet"; "bill clinton vegan"; "dr dean ornish"; "dr colin campbell"
dr caldwell esselstyn proved that heart disease can be reversed with diet alone!
the first thing i should've suggested, is to watch a movie that sums up the reasons for a plant based diet - i would highly recommend "forks over knives". this movie should be required viewing for everyone.
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i'd be willing to bet - if you did these 3 things - i'd be surprised if you couldn't reduce or eliminate some of your meds; in addition to improving your quality of life.
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When I tried to find out they wouldn't tell me. I decided to give up. It's really a mystery. 
I'm thinking of ending things.
I keep on thinking I'm gonna die š
Maybe I am crazy!
I think I'm getting migraines and nausea
Am I crazy?
