I'm new to the community. I have a major deadline coming up in 10 days and yet no matter how hard I try I can't get myself to do anything. I tried to calm down and think things over and realised this has been the case for a long long time. I decided to talk to my partner about the same but instead got blamed. I was told I don't try hard enough, all I do is give excuses, I don't take things seriously etc etc and instead of helping me, the entire ordeal just made it all worse. Now I just want to isolate. I can vouch I want to do things, I'm screaming on top of my lungs, "I'm trying, hard". It's not working. I know very well how bothered I am of every single thing in life. I take things very seriously. I just can't get anything done no matter the thought or effort.
I don't know how to get through. Sorry for the long write up. All help is appreciated
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TheLabMouse
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I know that feeling , do you feel it’s because you are overthinking or that you are just having a hard time with the concepts or what to do ? I know for me I often overthink so it’s just clearing my mind and then if I feel like I’m just lost I will ask another person working on the similar project as myself .
Overthinking, a lot but not because I find it hard. It's surprisingly easy stuff, I have tons of ideas but what good are they if I can't implement. Probably working with someone will be helpful. Thanks I'll try it out.
Welcome to the community. I'm sorry you are struggling but I'm happy to see you reach out for support.
Depression and anxiety can cause these issues. Do you have a therapist? It sounds like you need some guidance.
Your partner's response was not helpful at all. That's the last thing you need when you are feeling pressured and down. Were you able to say this to him/her? They should own their words and hear how destructive words can be.
People with Anxiety /depression often get blamed for it. People who have not experienced it cannot understand that you can't just get it together no matter how much you want to. People may be judgemental. People may be scared of these illnesses and just not be able to deal with hearing about them.
It is not your fault. You can't just change but you can get help with this. It is very treatable! Medication and therapy are the usual treatments along with adding in some exercise, sunlight, fresh air - all the things that help everyone but feel impossible to do with these illnesses. But once treatment starts these things can be added in.
Thank you for your kind words. You've truly made my day. It's good to feel that I am not alone in any of this. It encourages me to get help and I will.
That is what I find really good about this forum. Sometimes my replies may help someone, even if it is just a little bit. And replying to others helps ME as well.
Hey, i know this feeling. Maybe avoidance or procastinating. Ask yourself why are you dodging doing it. Is it fear of fallure, not understanding the task itself or any other reasons for procastingating(i think there are lists online). And try techniques like setting half an hour a day for your task or rewarding yourself for every progress or breaking the task into smaller tasks and following the steps. Hope this helps
Thanks so much for the ideas. I'll start alloting some time everyday towards the task and look up the lists online. I'll try my best to commit to it. I'm hoping it works 🤞🏻🤞🏻
Hi Mouse, oh boy I have a lifetime of procrastinating. It was hard for me to get through college but I did it, dyslexia and depression be damned. First limit time on whatever is your distraction:TV, internet, sleeping..... You know what it is. Don't think about doing your project too much, it becomes a big monster. Tell yourself you can do this, it's easy and follow up by doing it. I try to figure out how much time is needed each day until two days before it's due. TRY TO FOCUS. Do your task for that day, reward your self a little so you are motivated the following day. When you've finished you have the two days to review and make changes.
When you do this the stress will lessen giving you some relief. You can keep practicing this as you will need to do things you don't want to do for years to come. My problem is filling out paperwork and sending it in on time and not knowing what to do with paperwork in my house. The internet has been very helpful since I can fill out forms online.
Now for your partner- this sounds like a hot button issue. You've had this conversation before. It's a trigger for him/her. ONLY talk about a problem with your partner after you have really put in an effort. At this point you need to step up your game in your relationship. Be on time, start and finish things so they notice you are making an effort, doing the dishes before it is a huge stack or wash a load of laundry until it is all put away.
A therapist can help you develop these skills and help you when you're stuck. You can do this!
All of the comments above make valid points. The only things I would add would be that your partner seems to be blaming the victim. A lot of people really do not understand what depression is like and see it as a weakness or character flaw. This is nonsense.
It might be helpful to break down all the things that you have to do into smaller portions and try to accomplish one portion at a time rather than looking at the whole project and feeling overwhelmed. You may also want to consider reading a good book on cognitive behavioral therapy so that you can teach yourself more effective ways to deal with your emotional problems. I recommend Feeling Great by David Burns.
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I need help and I need to work on self love... I'm mentally exhausted but I am a winner and I'm never going to give up!
So much pain. What did I do to deserve this. I'm treading water and sinking.
TW//i think i need help
Help! I'm new and just need some help...
I THINK I NEED SUPPORT
