Why Me?

Hey all...I'm not doing too good. I feel very insignificant. I feel like the people in my life don't care that I'm sad. I feel like they don't care about my thoughts, about my opinions, about my feelings, about what I want. None of it. I feel like I don't matter. I feel like anything I have to say has no value. I'm just in pain...

[Hidden]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way, I understand though for I face it too. You are enough and you so matter

[Hidden]

Sucks you're feeling this way. In times like these, it helps to remember that your value comes from you and what you decide your value is. If others are there for you in the way you need/want, then you need to be there for yourself. Be your own friend. You're also always welcome to reach out here at any time.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for reaching out! I think that the reason I feel this way is because that's how the people in my life make me feel. I constantly feel that anything I have to say doesn't matter. And it's small things too. Literally, I asked my boyfriend to trim his beard before our anniversary pictures (which is in 2 weeks), and he complained about it and thought he didn't have to. I know it's a small thing, but it hurt my feelings internally a lot. I thought it was a reasonable request, but I guess not. And my mother and brother also play Pokemon Go, so whenever they are in the zone doing that, it's like I can't even speak without being told to shut up. So I feel like I should just shut my mouth and never say anything to anyone, or even have an opinion. I'm sure I'm blowing this out of proportion, but I am internally hurting. It's just how I feel.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for providing more context to the situation. From what it looks like, it's not that what you feel doesn't matter. It's that you might not be taking other's feeling, thoughts and opinions into consideration (coincidentally, what you're feeling is happening to you). The example you provided about your boyfriend... You want your boyfriend to do X, and because he's not doing what you want, you see that as a slight against you. But, it's important to keep in mind, he's his own person with his own thoughts and feelings as well, especially when it comes to his choices about his own body. I think you're within you're right to express your wishes and you should (as long as you're being open, honest and kind about it), but it's important to be careful about your expectations of others. It can be very difficult to balance your needs and wants with someone else's.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I see where you're coming from. That was just the instance today. This happens way more often though. He doesn't do almost anything I ask. And another thing, he'll tell me he's going to do something for me, but then he never does it. An example of this would be, at the beginning of this past summer, he said that at some point, he would get me Dunkin' Donuts. But he never did that. And we hung out several times. But anyways, that's not the point. I get that I can't control other people; I'm not trying to. But it would be nice for my family/friends to do things for me every so often, considering I go out of my way to do a lot for them. I guess that's how I think the world should work. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I hear that. And you're not wrong. You're expressing how you feel. Have you tried having a conversation with your boyfriend and family about how you're feeling? They may not be aware of it, and need you to express your feelings. It can be difficult to do, but it's important to always try to keep things in perspective.

And as someone who's recently out of a relationship where I felt similar to how you're feeling... no relationship is worth it if your needs are not being met. Just some food for thought.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I have tried to express my feelings to them. My mom calls it "my fake depression," and just waves it aside whenever I try to talk to her. My dad doesn't really know how to help (my parents are divorced too). I tell him how I feel, but then he just tells me that it'll be okay, but that's it. And my boyfriend, most of the time, thinks he can't help because he's too afraid of making the situation worse. I guess that's a reasonable thing to think, but I would still appreciate it if he could at least offer some support and comforting words.

My boyfriend and I are pretty strong I think. When I have these sorts of problems, I don't always confide in him. I sometimes just sit on my bedroom floor and cry it out and go on rants and punch the floor a little bit. But for the most part, he and I are able to get through things and grow stronger. I'm happy to have him in my life. I just complain a lot about things I shouldn't be complaining about, but he really is super awesome and knows how to put a smile on my face.

Anyways, not trying to change the topic lol. Yes, sometimes he doesn't take the clues I send him, but he still is a very comforting person.

I also just wish I had understanding parents. I would definitely be way less stressed if I had parents that were easy to talk to about my feelings.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I can see how that would be really frustrating and hurtful when you try to open up and others don’t respect it. Wanting others to care about how you feel is certainly important. One of the tricks I’ve started to learn is that if you wait for others to align with how you want them to be, you’ll be waiting a very long time, and you can’t hinge your happiness and well-being on that. Focus on you. Focus on doing the things that bring you happiness without the attention of others. It can be a game changer.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You're right. Thank you for the pointer. And thank you for taking the time to help. I really appreciate it! Hope you are doing well!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

My pleasure. It also occurred to me... your username... it’s an interesting choice. Pandas are known to not have many cares in the world. They just sit around and eat all day. Not worrying about anything, but eating and chilling.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That's definitely not the reason I chose that username haha! My favorite animals are pandas because I love how cute and fluffy they are. And my favorite song is Sunkissed by Khai Dreams, so that's why I went with it.

[Iammesues]

Seems like you are the only one with some sense in your family

[mangopineapple]

Even though you don’t see it, so many people do care. stay strong and be your own bestfriend bc you’re all you have for your whole life bc people come and go but you have yourself. so make ur mind as positive and happy as possible and ur ALWAYS welcome to reach out to me and chat bc id love too anytime

[Hidden in reply to mangopineapple]

Thank you mangopineapple! I think it's just hard to not want people to care about you and be there for you. It gets lonely sometimes. But yeah, I'm down to talk anytime. Just hit me up haha!

[Hidden]

Thank you so much! The same goes for you! If you ever would like to talk, don't be afraid to reach out.

[hurtingheart1]

Hi how are you doing? I just came across your post and I feel a lot like this for soo long in my life!! It is very painful!!💞💞🌻feel free to msg me if you want or need to chat& have understanding! I know I really need that to!!🦋

[Hidden in reply to hurtingheart1]

Thank you so much for reaching out! Yeah, I'm down to chat any time! I have a lot of doubts going around my mind that I don't know how to control. I've tried so many things, but they never seem to go away. I wish they would though; I don't want to spend my life being depressed. If you ever want to chat, definitely let me know! I'm always here!

[hurtingheart1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you - today I’m feeling soo incredibly tired , sad & my heart physically feeling funny😔😓💔

[Hidden in reply to hurtingheart1]

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you weren't feeling that way. Is there anything you wanted to talk about in depth? I'm here for you.

[hurtingheart1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you I appreciate that!! I just have soo many layers I think I wouldn’t know where to start!!😱🤣

[Hidden in reply to hurtingheart1]

I totally get that. But feel free to reach out any time! You are very loved!