A little lost

[Hottom]

Hello, I’m 53 I have Rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, spinal cord damage, 2 ulcers. I have lost my father, sister, and mother. I had a very special bond with my dad and sister. I’m still having trouble with losing them. I am married for 33 years he is wonderful. I have 2 grown kids my daughter is 25 and thriving. My son 21 lives home with us still. I’m just feeling very lost l feel like I’m not really needed anymore. I feel like I have no purpose. I can’t work due to my health conditions. I will take any input.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Welcome to the site. It’s a great place to be. There are a lot of people here to help you not be alone with your pain. Depression is an awful malady and it’s good we have each other. I’m sorry for your losses. Grief is a tough thing to work through. Are you getting any professional help? Keep posting and let us know how you’re feeling.

[Hottom in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

I’m not seeing anyone for help. I thought I would give this a try. I can’t drive because of my health issues.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Hottom]

Well we’re glad you’re here.

[Mary-intussuception]

Hi & welcome on board

Is there anything you can think of that you can do for distraction/occupational therapy?

Can you do just a little voluntary work? Are you able to drive still? Do you like taking photos ? Are you able to get out in the morning ? Is there a nice park or any countryside nearby?

It can be agony, I know, but I've found that if I can make myself walk & struggle through the pain and get out somewhere, I feel better for it mentally. It's a bonus when the opportunity arises to bless someone - something simple like a smile or a kind word.

Negative thoughts & feelings aren't true. We have to fight them off with positive true statements.

So just remind yourself that you are needed, you do have a purpose in life, you are Precious and loved.

Never let what you can't do stop you from what you can do.

[Hottom in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Thank you so much for your kind words. My husband and I do camp a lot. That does help clear my mind. I don’t do myself any favors by sitting home all day. So when hubby and son get home or when I am on a social situation I just push it down and smile. If you met me you wouldn’t even know the constant pain in my body or my sadness.

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Hottom]

Yes. If you met me you wouldn't know I was in constant pain. I admire you for camping, now that's something I can't do!!

Can you go out on your own in the morning? If you can just force yourself to go out to the park for half an hour I think you'll find it makes a difference to your day.

Of course, when I get home & sit down all the pain makes its presence known. But I'd still be in pain anyway if I'd stayed in , but not dressed and more depressed thinking of a wasted morning.

[Hottom in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Yes I’m going to try walking tomorrow morning. I also have a new left hip, and new right knee. From osteoarthritis I need to have both shoulders done and my other hip I’m trying to take a break for a while. From all that.

[Hottom]

Yes I’m going to try walking tomorrow morning. I also have a new left hip, and new right knee. From osteoarthritis I need to have both shoulders done and my other hip I’m trying to take a break for a while. From all that.

[Hidden]

Hi there

I am sorry for your losses. Hope you find support here. I am pretty new here but it seems like a really great supportive site.

One of my relatives has had RA for 20 plus years. Like you she can’t work. Her health issues are multiplying as she gets older and she doesn’t really have an occupation except for struggling with her health.

But she is stalwart, a fantastic example of perseverance, cheerful and dedicated, with a great sense of humor. I can’t imagine life without her.

I am not preaching, I just wanted to illustrate that not being able to work doesn’t automatically make you unneeded. You are probably giving in many other ways and you might be appreciated in ways that you aren’t even aware of. ❤️

All the best.🙂

[Hottom in reply to Hidden]

That is very sweet. I don’t think your preaching. That’s why I joined the group. Other people’s input.

[Lilishead]

Welcome, this is a very active and supportive site, sorry for the losses you've suffered that kind of pain can take a while to ease and with all of your physical issues too it's no wonder you're feeling down but as a start talking on here is the best thing you can be doing sharing your thoughts with anyone if you can't talk at home this is a way of getting it out of your head your body will move when you're ready to move it and your heart will heal given time it's a hard thing for any of us to do but you need to give yourself time to heal from your grief and see that you are still valid and loved. Big hugs.

[sunandbutterfly]

Sorry to hear of the losses and the pain that you are in. I hope that you will find some good support here. It sounds like you are doing some good things like trying to get more exercise and joining here. It may be easier for you to seek assistance with the current covid situation from home. I know that quite a few counselors have transitioned to virtual visits.

Have you considered volunteering online or to make some phone calls or taking up a hobby? Let me know if any additional resources would be helpful.