Sad

[Ceemulann]

I’m not sure but lately I’ve been feeling so down and sad. First and foremost I’m upset that I lost my job and I have been looking for a new job but I haven’t found anything. I’m 20 and I have a few bills & depts to pay off but now I can’t because I have no source of income. Luckily I have saved some money but how long will that last me? This pandemic has really made life hell for me. I look around and see people doing so well even through tough times and I am happy for them but I always ask myself why can’t that be me? I don’t talk about my feelings to people much hence why I’m here. I’m 20 and I feel like I’ve already failed in life, I’m too young to be feeling this way. I even need to get a transfer to a london university so I can be closer to home and continue to study my second year of nursing (as I took a gap year this year to focus on my health) but things have been difficult with this virus the whole process is longer and delayed. We’re basically going back on lockdown as the cases have risen meaning it’s going to be more difficult to get things sorted for uni.

On top of that I’ve been very ill, I haven’t left my house (I live my mother and siblings) in over a month, my skin is breaking out. I lay in bed for most of the day, I feel fat and ugly. I just have so many thoughts about myself which I don’t like. I wish they could all just go away I wish life wasn’t so stressful. Why can’t I live a stress free life.

I also have a hair business (I make wigs for clients) I started this little business when I was 17 but over the years my clientele has decreased, this year I wanted to focus on that and my job I had, it was going so well but then everything went left. No one even supports my business, not even my friends they shout me out on Instagram here and there but compared to other people I feel like I don’t get enough support hence why I want to give up.

I just need a break I feel like I’m going to explode. I just need a hug but I feel alone. My love life has been boring too, I haven’t spoken to any men this year I’ve just been too sad to speak to anyone in any type of way. I know I’m young but having that one person you can talk to would be great.

I’m just praying for better days, I just want to be happy 2 years ago I was the happiest person ever but now I feel sad most of the days, I lack motivation too.

[Hidden]

Hi Ceemulann that sounds rough. I’m sorry you have been impacted so much by covid and having health problems. It’s ok not to be beautiful on the outside it’s what is within that counts. It’s good you’re taking time for self care. Not having much income, I can relate to that too, I worry about my finances a lot. But I think it’s so admirable that you want to be a nurse. That’s a self sacrificing career and we need good nurses it’s a great ambition. Do you have hobbies? Something to enjoy to take your mind off the stress? Like listening to relaxing music maybe?

[Ceemulann in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I appreciate you replying; I do like listening to music but recently I haven’t been connected to music anymore I’m not sure why, I want to start going to the gym so that I can work on my health and I also heard it helps with your mental health.

[Hidden in reply to Ceemulann]

Yes exercise can have a great affect. They say it releases endorphins which makes you feel like a champion. I always feel more positive when I exercise regularly and doing some cardio helps eliminate toxins too. Do you have any favorite sort of exercise, running, yoga, Pilates etc? I love yoga and kickboxing especially. I hope you can make it to the gym soon or workout at home. 🙂